Post # 1
when i first started planning my wedding a year ago, we were hoping to do a destination wedding in the caribbean somewhere (i found these boards during my research!) – and as you know, as a guest for a Destination Wedding, it is costly. So, in order to alleviate some bridesmaid stress, I offered to pay for the girls dresses – it was the least I could do.
Since then, however, we have completely changed the wedding vision, and we are having our wedding in our town. As you know, a local wedding can cost much more than a Destination Wedding wedding, if only for the amount of people on the guest list. Our budget has almost doubled.
Can I retract my offer to pay for the dresses? Not all of it, I can cover about $200 per person, but I don’t think I can cover the entire dress (with alterations, etc).
Would this be rude?
I tried to put myself in the girls shoes, and I don’t think I’d mind.
Post # 3
I think since the situation has changed and they dont have to spend nearly as much to attented the wedding, that it would be perfectly fair to adjust how much you help out to cover, since the original offer was because of the Destination Wedding.
Post # 4
I think it’s pefectly okay. They no longer need to take off as much time from work, use travel/sick time etc. They don’t need a hotel, or at least for as long. They don’t need airfare, etc. They’re saving a lot of money by you staying in town!
Post # 5
I think thats fine. Like the PP said, they no longer have to pay for the Destination Wedding or take extra time off from work etc.
Post # 6
you’ve chosen dresses that cost more than $200?! yikes! Obviously I’m not you, but if I were (since I wouldn’t have chosen dresses that expensive to begin with…) I’d definitely still pay for them.
Post # 7
I think it would depend on how much they are? Have you picked them out yet? Maybe you could just look for some that are under $200?
Post # 8
I am pretty sure it would be OK especially since you are offering to pay some but me, personally, I’d feel bad ‘taking it back’. It was very generous of you to offer:)
Post # 9
I’d think it’s ok, but if you can afford $200, why not just look for dresses in that budget and then you can still cover them.
Post # 10
Agreed. Find dresses that are under $200 with alterations and pay for them. Problem solved!
Post # 11
I think you explaining your situation to each girl would be awesome or to possibly find a gown less than $200 and say alterations are on them; thats a sweet deal if you ask me!
Alfred Angelo is a great place to find an inexpensive gown, my personal goal was to choose a gown under $150. And the gowns I chose were $99/each and then each girl got $20/each dress since we went on a “Girls Night” ::SWEET!::
Post # 12
I voted yes, but I ALSO agree that if you haven’t chosen the dresses already, try to pick ones that are cheaper.
Post # 13
Thanks everyone! I think it’s a great idea to start looking for dresses under $200 (during our initial dress hunt, it seemed all the long chiffons were over $200… also, I live in Canada, so prices are inflated).
I think in the end, I’ll likely just cover the dress and have them cover alterations (if needed).
Post # 14
I got a bridesmaid dress, and alteratons for under $200. It can be done!
If you can still cover part of the cost, go for it, perhaps pick a less expensive dress and tell them you have budgeted $X to cover the cost and they can pick up the rest. This is more than generous and will still be appreciated!
Post # 15
I think if you already offered to pay for the dresses, then you should pay.
Post # 16
Also, if you get your dress and their dress at the same place, you usually get a discount. So check into that as well.