- janedw
- 4 years ago
donate it and be done.
talking about it will do more harm and will make you looka little catty
donate it and be done.
talking about it will do more harm and will make you looka little catty
I would give it away, maybe re-gift it. And if she asks say something like, I found it wasn’t really my style and I thought soandso would get more use out of it.
Tell the gift giver to butt out of your relationship (or lack of) with necklace maker. Stop trying to fascilitate a reconcilation or she risks damaging her relationship with you. You are perfectly happy without necklace maker in your life. Reconcilation takes two parties – and despite the fact that necklace maker seems to want to actively deal with the past, you do not.
ETA: I’d also tell gift giver that that you’re not sure why she’s so invested in getting everyone back together but taking it upon herself to invite necklace maker to your birthday party and ambush you was a REALLY bad idea, and that she needs to stop.
After reading your update I’d seriously be considering my friendship with friend A. She shouldn’t have gotten in the middle of things, and when you told her that you weren’t interested in a friendship/reconciliation with friend X, that should have been the end of it.
She’s always been the type that wants everyone to get along. Which is great- but when it comes to this and how hard she is pushing- it’s becoming extremely annoying. And I don’t understand why it has to be ‘now’ all of a sudden.
If she ever brings up X again just gently rebuke her “oh A we’d already agreed never to talk about X between us remember? Tell me more about your ______.”
Cuz uhh yeah, what she did was ambush you in your birthday. Not cool at all. BUT, I’ve also been in her shoes and know how hard it is to have two very good friends who can’t stand each other. Or have one of them be ready to ‘talk’ and not the other one so I’m giving A the benefit of the doubt here. The yuuuuuge benefit of the doubt. If you want to maintain this friendship then you can simply tell her to butt out (gently) and go your merry way.
Wow, friend A is seriously in the wrong no matter which way you spin it. If a genuine reconciliation was desired by friend X then she should have approached you herself and not been a part of the secret gift giving plan. And I would say something to friend A along the lines of “while I understand your heart was in the right place, please stop getting in the middle of this and trying to force a reconciliation, as I have no interest having her back in my life. And to be honest, even if that may have been on the cards one day, the way all this has gone down has only reinforced my original position. Please stop”
Both friend A and X are handling themselves poorly, and I feel for you being stuck in this position.
I would donate it. Returning it will only bring up more drama and potentially cause issues with the friend you still have.
Friend A is being totally intrusive and inappropriate. I would probably just not engage with her for awhile. That isn’t good friend behavior.
I wouldn’t be friends with friend A or X anymore to be honest. Friend A seems to not take a hint and is not respecting your wishes. And friend X is friend an ex for a reason.
Afetr your last update, I would cut them both out of my life.
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