Returning a wedding gift to toxic person

posted 5 months ago in Etiquette
  • poll: Should I send the check back or cash it
    Send the check back : (38 votes)
    38 %
    Cash it, send basic thank you : (50 votes)
    51 %
    Other (please explain) : (11 votes)
    11 %
  • Post # 46
    Member
    3230 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: January 2021

    After your update telling us all the other ways she is toxic, I’d say fuck it, take her money, don’t send her shit, and never talk to her again. 

    She’s not family. You don’t have to keep her around. 

    Post # 48
    Member
    801 posts
    Busy bee

    beeanonymous0102 :  After reading your replies, I’m wondering why you announced your engagement to her at all. She’s not someone I would share good news with knowing it would be shot down by her negativity. Ouch. She sounds like a miserable lady. 

    Post # 49
    Member
    1235 posts
    Bumble bee

    I like the planned parenthood donation if she’s super pro life, she’d be fuming if you send her a note going “thank you so much for helping us donating to a meaningful cause, planned parenthood! You’ve contributed greatly in support of pro choice!” Haha…

    Post # 50
    Member
    100 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: June 1995

    OMG, your Planned Parenthood/ACLU/PETA donation idea is PERFECT—but even better,— a lot of these charities will send you a THANK YOU letter which you can include with your thank you note to Step-G!  

    For example:

    “Dear BeeAnonymous,  Thank you for your generous $500 dollar donation which you made in STEP-G’s name to Planned Parenthood. We would like to thank you for this gift which we will use to continue providing safe and confidential reproductive services to women from all walks of life who need our services the most. You may use this letter as proof of your charitable donation for your tax purposes.”  

     

     

    Post # 51
    Member
    891 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: City, State

    I’d cash the check and thank her for not attending.

    Post # 52
    Member
    930 posts
    Busy bee

    Hell no. Money comes and goes. 

    It’s as if someone is in front of you pulls out that cash, spits on it, insults you and your family repeatedly, and smiles sarcastically for you to take it. 

    EFFF NO. 

    I’d either: shred the check, and not respond to her.

    Or, id send it back, but instead of a ‘thank you but no thank you’ note, id let her know the reasons for returning it and that her good wishes aren’t good wishes and arent welcomed’

    Id actually go as far as to uninivte her from the wedding (which is something id never normally do, but this is an exception). Dont welcome bad energy on one of the most beautiful days of your lives.

    Post # 53
    Member
    221 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: September 2019

    To all those people who say she’s insulting you by sending you $500, man I sure wish the people in my life who insult me do so by writing me a $500 check 😂

    in all seriousness though I think whatever you do with the money, it won’t change your relationship with her or how she feels, so do whatever you think is best. Personally I would cash it and send a one line thank you card but then again fiance and I are aggressively saving for a house.

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