(Closed) Returning engagement ring?

posted 6 days ago in Rings
Post # 2
Member
932 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2018

How long have you had it on?  If you just bought it, and not accustomed to wearing imposing jewelery, everything feels huge.  A picture may help us reassure you. 

Post # 4
Member
4709 posts
Honey bee

ocbee268 :  You’re damned if you do, and you’re damned if you don’t.   No one is going to tell you to get rid of a 3+ carat diamond.  My advice?  This is a first world problem.  Keep the ring for 6 months then decide.  Lookup shrinkage..its real.. just hang onto it for a while.

Post # 5
Member
2353 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: April 2017

ocbee268 :  If your wholesaler doesn’t take returns then I would just keep it.  You’re not going to get anything near what you paid for it if you try to sell it, and unless it’s got all the certs with it, I can’t imagine another diamond dealer would want to buy it off of you.

I would get it set and wear it for the engagement period.  Then once you’re married, if you’re still uncomfortable with the size, I’d have it made into a pendant and wear just my wedding band.

Post # 6
Member
109 posts
Blushing bee

Wow 3.5ct does seem a tad over the top !!! Your coworker certainly must have had a huge influence on you …no pun intended ..I don’t think I could wear that size comfortably either …if exchanging it isn’t possible perhaps buy a cheap lookalike and give it some trial time on your hand …you never know …if it still isn’t right for you then you need to be honest with your FI …good luck

 

Post # 7
Member
130 posts
Blushing bee

You’re not even engaged yet so try to not worry yet. If the wholesaler won’t let you exchange (you’re not returning) then I would say stop thinking about it and stressing and actually wear it and see how you feel, because it sounds like there’s nothing you can do. It may not be so big once you’re wearing it. If you have long fingers it wont be big. My advice would be don’t set it high, if you set it as low as you can it will seem smaller.

Post # 8
Member
766 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2017

I can understand why your BF is upset, you are the one who decided you needed a 3.5ct diamond and now that he has bought it you want something else, before he has even proposed.  

He probably feels like you have made him waste a huge amount of money, which you have. 

Post # 9
Member
1508 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2017

ocbee268 :  wow, I can’t imagine wearing something that size. Maybe you can trade it at one of those jewelers that take pre-owned stones against new purchases for a smaller stone and a setting.

Post # 10
Member
137 posts
Blushing bee

Your issue seems to be with what other people think. That is irrelevant. If people think its too flashy, so what? It is a beautiful gift! 

I am indecissive too so I understand. My fiance got me the best he could with our budget, and even though I helped him choose the diamond, at the end of the day it is a gift from him. What I wanted clearly mattered, but he had the ulitmate say.

Be grateful and excited and accept the ring. The engagement is about so much more than the piece of jewelery. He must have liked the way it looked if he agreed to purchase it. Wear it with pride! Honestly, that size probably isn’t as flashy as you think. Many women wish they could have something so large.

 

Post # 11
Member
1242 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2016 - Painswick Church and the Falcon Hotel

abouttodoit17 :  couldn’t of put it better! 

Post # 12
Member
535 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2018 - Farm

ocbee268 :  I think you should keep the ring and stop worrying about what other people thinkg and allowing that to influence your decisions. You are about to enter wedding planning and a lot of people are going to be throwing their ideas and opinions at you so be ready. I think you need to find your own voice and get more comfortable with yourself and the decisions that you make. If not wedding planning may become stressful for you if you are indecisive people are going to feel like they can make decisions for you and you are not going to like that.

Post # 14
Member
2682 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: July 2015

ocbee268 :  Your co-worker was indeed toxic and well done you for finally realising! But that relationship shouldn’t affect your engagement. I’d let go of your embarrassment and enjoy the ring for what it is – a gift from yourbeloved which makes him very pleased, proud, and happy.

If after several months it’s still not you then discuss trading it with your fiance. Bear in mind though that it will have already lost value so you’re probably better off keeping it. Fiance needs to be seriously reassured BTW.

Post # 15
Member
239 posts
Helper bee

1. If you really want to exchange the diamond, can you speak to your boyfriend when you’re both calm and explain to him what you explained to us? Tell him you love him, you love what he did for you, and you’d only exchange the stone if it didn’t cost him extra – like someone else suggested, maybe with a smaller stone, the jeweller will give you the setting for free?

2. For finding yourself, have you considered therapy? It’s not just for depressed people, it can really help you figure things out and give you tools to work with.

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