(Closed) returning gifts

posted 7 years ago in Gifts and Registries
Post # 3
13851 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

I think I would need more information about what happened to really make an opinion.  Part of me says that they gave you a gift for the wedding, so it’s rightfully yours, but part of me wonders why you had to kick them out of the wedding. 

Post # 4
9950 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: December 2012

YUP, more info of the exact scenario (or a stand in one with the same magnitude… if you want to keep the full details private and off the net) would be helpful in determining how to proceed.

Post # 5
201 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

I think that you would return the gifts only if you’re sure that you want nothing to do with these people ever again, regardless of exactly what happened.  If I were to send a wedding gift back to one of my guests who exhibited poor judgement (got too drunk) it would be a statement that we are not friends anymore and the mere sight of this widget my friend gave me is too painful for me.  Now, I’m not contemplating ending any friendships just because some people don’t know when to walk away from an open bar, but you get the idea of what I mean.

Post # 7
458 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

I think if this happened at my wedding I would DEF keep the gift. They were in the wrong, not you.

Post # 8
2390 posts
Buzzing bee

It’s difficult. My first instinct is to return the gift, but I mean, they did show up and you did at least feed them. I think etiquette only requires you return the gift if the wedding in cancelled. 

Post # 9
149 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

I would return the gift just to avoid drama. I’m sure they are pissed off as well and seeing their cash checked prob will anger them more ..

Post # 10
474 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

I would keep the gifts.  You are not responsible for their actions, and the gifts were intended to you.  I think it will cause more drama to return them.

Post # 11
505 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 2013

@samoneal:  I would wait a while before cashing it, but I think it would cause more drama to actually return the gift. They are probably embarrased for acting like drunken fools. Props to your dad for keeping his cool in regards to the pool table, my Fiance would have had a conniption fit 

Post # 12
1659 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

Have you spoken to these people since the wedding?  Have the apologized?  Do you think they will?

I would return the gift in the mail, just as kind of an extra “forget you if you can’t behave” knowing that I’ll likely never speak to them again and the friendship is over. 

I don’t think that what you did or did not pay to host them has anything to do with this. 

Post # 13
2780 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

I wouldn’t return the gifts, but I also wouldn’t cash the cheque. They gifted you for attending your wedding, they attended and the wedding took place. Etiquette wise you’re good to keep the gifts. I wouldn’t bother cashing the cheque though, those people may have already put a stop payment on it. The cash I would keep, the cheque I would just rip up and leave it at that.

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