Returning to work after baby HELP

posted 1 month ago in Parenting
Post # 31
Member
412 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: November 2014

“i actually did okay all day at work. But when I came home and realized I had to do everything to prepare for tomorrow plus all the typical household stuff and couldn’t even spend as much time with my son as I wanted I just fell apart. I honestly cannot imagine doing this every day. I just didn’t expect to feel like this.”

I think you need to hire some help. Find some cleaning people, a mother’s helper, whatever you think would give you some extra time with your little one. Since your husband has an inflexible schedule, and it sounds like financially you guys are doing well, I think some extra hands around the house might be what you need to make this easier on you.

Post # 32
Member
2417 posts
Buzzing bee

I stayed home for three years with y son and wouldn’t change a thing. Sometimes money isn’t your first priority.

Post # 33
Member
157 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: June 2015

I wholeheartedly agree to give it at least 1 or 2 months to see if you settle in. I was a nervous wreck/lots of anxiety and so tired on my first day. But now 2 weeks later, I feel back to normal. But I also am not the type to stay at home. It is hard work!! Props to those SAHMs, because honestly it was too much for me and I got overwhelmed alot.  If you still feel like you want to quit work after a few months time, then at least you gave it time to make sure that’s what you really want intstead of making a rash decision.

 

Also agree on either asking your parents or in-laws for help or hire someone to clean, prepare food, etc so you can spend more time with your child.

Post # 34
Member
7206 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2013

arosebyanyothername :  I don’t think that in this case OP is saying money is her first priority as she is passionate about her career and mentioned that she felt super overwhelmed when she got home with all the stuff she had to do. She also even said “it’s not a financial thing.”

If we have kids, I will not be a Stay-At-Home Mom. We would get by fine on DH’s salary alone but I enjoy my job and have worked hard to get to where I am in my career. 

OP: I do not have kids so I can’t speak from personal experience, however, I do have a friend in a similar scenario. She returned to work a couple of weeks ago and had a horrible first week back, so horrible she was ready to quit. She talked it out with her husband and they determined they are financially secure enough for her to quit but he also reminded her about all the things she loved about her job so she decided to give it a bit longer. Last time I talked to her she was still on the fence but I think she would have regretted it if she just quit without giving it a chance.

Is there any way you can hire help? Someone to clean and potentially some kind of meal service? Are you able to go part time? Have you talked to your husband about it? 

I did see another bee said something about a Stay-At-Home Mom friend whose husband lost his job and they could be in real trouble. This actually happened to another friend of mine (yes lots of “drama” with my friends lately lol) and he was out of work for about four months. They had a six month cushion saved so while it was starting to get worrisome towards the end, it worked out because they made sure they planned for this kind of scenario before she stopped working.

Best of luck with whatever you decide!

Post # 35
Member
263 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2015

arosebyanyothername :  Going back to work isn’t always about money, but sometimes the money is a necessity. If someone is lucky enough to be able to afford to stay home and enjoys doing that, that’s great, but many people don’t have that option. And many people who can afford to stay home may not want to because they don’t want to give up or derail a career that they’ve worked hard for and that gives them fulfillment. 

OP, I also suggest giving it some more time and getting some help around the house. It sounds like the housework is the problem, not the work work. Having a baby is a huge transition in so many ways, and you will probably find it gets easier once you can settle into some routines. Wishing you well either way! 

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