(Closed) Returning Wedding Gifts?

posted 7 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 16
Member
13815 posts
Honey Beekeeper

View original reply
LoveMyBrit:  Yes, I agree. We must have cross posted. And I just noticed that it was the bride who was doing the cheating. While she is not obligated, under the circumstances,  I would think she might feel that it is the decent thing. 

Post # 17
Member
1161 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2015

View original reply
ashley.nicole.2122:  For an unusually short marriage, I would return unopened or unused gifts…at least the things that wouldn’t be too much of a hastle. If there’s a toaster oven still in the box and they know it came from Aunt Judy, send it back priority mail. If there’s a set of kitchen towels and oven mitts that they’ve used a few times and aren’t sure if they came from Cousin Susan or Uncle Tom, don’t worry about it.

Post # 18
Member
4041 posts
Honey bee

The bride already has to deal with enough emotional crap on her own – even if she was the one who cheated, she still has to go through the emotional trauma of divorce and figuring out life on her own again. The last thing I’d do to her as a friend is to ask for a gift back. Gifts are gifts. 

Post # 20
Member
1290 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

My point was, I dont see how you define short marriage.  Less than a year?  And how do you define whether one party was at fault?  What if one person cheated, but only after other party was abusive?   Many women do not report domestic violence.  I would say, stick with the old rule, if engagement broken, gifts should be returned, otherwise I would not ask for them back.  

Post # 21
Member
16 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: April 2015

View original reply
Ilovetruffels:  I was raised the same way! You give a gift from your heart without expecting anything in return…the recipient wasn’t planning on the divorce. I wouldn’t even want to get a gift back if I were in the situation of someone who had brought a gift.

Post # 22
Member
79 posts
Worker bee

Yeah, I would just keep them.

That’s really crappy of their friends/ family to be more concerned over getting their gifts back than being concerned for their friends in this situation.

I don’t think the way the marriage ended or the timing have any relevance at all here.

Post # 23
Member
8457 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

View original reply
ashley.nicole.2122:  One more vote for returning them. It looks really bad to keep them. When you say they were wedding gifts and there was a wedding, that’s like saying people bought the couple gifts for their big party. That’s not what they were for and everyone knows it. I would judge the shit out of someone who got married while cheating and then kept the gifts when they got busted and divorced 3 months later. I would lose so much respect for them.

Post # 24
Member
3080 posts
Sugar bee

There was a similar thread to this, I believe yesterday? In both there were allegations of cheating. I said it before and I’ll say it again, that part of the story is irrelevant. The marriage is over, regardless and for whatever reason, and it’s none of my business.

They might not get as large of a gift from me, for their 2nd wedding, but there’s no way I would expect/want to get the 1st gift back.

Post # 26
Member
79 posts
Worker bee

View original reply
ashley.nicole.2122:  sometimes though, people cheat for a reason. A lot of the time they’re not in a happy place, so it’s no ones ‘fault’- some things just don’t work out! Hell, if I was a good friend that gave money as a gift to her wedding I would prefer she keep it, use it to re establish her life rather than embarras her any further by asking for it back. Materialistic people suck!!

Post # 28
Member
1158 posts
Bumble bee

I would never expect a gift back, I think the people that are surprised are bein very rude. Obviously the couple is going through enough they don’t need this on top. You really want your silver platter back? lol?

Post # 29
Member
202 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

“hey, did you hear that john and jane are getting a divorce 3 months after the wedding?”

if your reaction to this is, “omg, give me the blender back,” you need to get your head checked.

The topic ‘Returning Wedding Gifts?’ is closed to new replies.

Find Amazing Vendors