Post # 1
I will try not to make this too long but a little back story – I went to a private school for 10 years, preschool to 8th grade. So I spent 10 years or so with the same group of people. It is where I met my best friend who is my Maid/Matron of Honor (she lives out of state) and it is where I originally know Fiance from. A few months ago on Facebook some of my old classmates started a thread talking about having a reunion the weekend of Thanksgiving because a lot of the alum would be back in town. Everyone was really excited about it at first but it quickly fell silent with out actually setting a date or time.
Fast forward to the present. I am talking to my MOH’s mom about the wedding because she is going to be making my MOH’s dress. She inquires about the exact date of the wedding. I told her and she exclaims, “Oh! That is the same day as the reunion!” and continues on about how my Maid/Matron of Honor is helping plan and is going to be going. At first I was just bummed because I had wanted to go to the reunion and didn’t know they had already discussed actual dates. To me the weekend of Thanksgiving means the weekend after which would be the 24th but whatever. I had my date picked before the reunion thread even began and have all my deposits in at my venues. I asked if they were willing to have the reunion the 24th instead since there are no set plans still or venues, but i received little feedback.
I actually can deal with not going to the reunion because I get to spend a night celebrating my new life with Fiance, family, and my closest friends. It was when I found out that my Maid/Matron of Honor is planning on going to the reunion that I felt a little hurt because that basically means she is going to stand with me at my wedding and then bail. It all really makes me feel like she finds my wedding an inconvenvience that she already agreed to. I don’t know if I am over-reacting and having a bridezilla moment because over all I am pretty laid back about the whole wedding thing. But this one thing really bugs me. My mom and another friend of mine say my feelings are valid but I wanted to get an outside perspective and advice on what to do.
EDIT: Forgot to specify my wedding is at 4:30pm with a dinner reception.
Post # 3
Are you having a day time wedding? If you’re doing say, a brunch or something and I was your Maid/Matron of Honor I would probably assume that after the wedding you wanted some “alone time” and it would be ok to move on to the reunion if both were local. But, I’d probably ask if there was anything further related to the wedding to do that day before I made plans that I couldn’t get out of.
Post # 4
I forgot to specify the wedding is at 4:30pm with a dinner reception.
Post # 5
I would be pissed that she hadn’t even mentioned anything. If she’s helping plan it, maybe ask her if they can do it the next weekend. Explain to her that you really wanted her to stay at your wedding the whole time, and hopefully she would understand. Good luck!
Post # 6
@mrsnjemanze2b: Ok, so what, she’s thinking she’ll attend the ceremony and then skip the reception? That is not cool in my books, and I would definitely talk to her about it.
Post # 7
I’d get ahold of your Maid/Matron of Honor ASAP. Sometimes things get miscommunicated, and maybe her mom misunderstood or maybe your Maid/Matron of Honor completely spaced it that the two dates are the same. Just give her a call and save yourself the stress!
Post # 8
I don’t know who you contacted, but if possible I’d get in direct touch with the head planner or planning committee of the reunion because they don’t have deposits down yet. I would also speak with your Maid/Matron of Honor. Best wishes.
Post # 9
hmm I say talk to moh first, even though it’s from her mom sounds like second hand info, why wouls he be getting a dress made if she didn’t plan on being there. She might just leave your wedding al ittle early and go to the reunion.
Post # 10
Fiance actually brought up a point that I will not be able to be with her the entire time of the wedding anyway because we will have to mingle and such. But I still felt I needed to talk to her about it so I did. She said she didn’t think her leaving would be a problem so that is why she hadn’t mentioned it to me. I explained to her I was really concerned about it and so we talked it out. There is no way to change the date of the reunion but she agreed to stay at the reception the majority of the time. I agreed to be ok with her leaving when the time came. She seemed to be understanding so hopefully she didn’t think I was being overbearing. Thanks for the advice and support ladies!