Post # 31
m0thlight : It honestly took me so off guard I was silent for a moment. Then I defended my ring and said I loved solitaires and thought it was pretty. She said something like, “Oh, I thought you wanted a halo.” I simply responded saying I’ve always loved solitaires and would have been happy with either. I felt very defensive of my ring at that point lol. She still had a little disdain in her tone but what can you do. If she had proceeded to bash it, I might have elevated my comments.
Post # 32
m0thlight : I reply with an enthusiastic thank you, because I am thrilled that some else thinks that the symbol of my love with my partner is beautiful.
But posting for advice about how to respond to compliments? Really? That’s obnoxious behavior and you know exactly what you’re doing.
Post # 33
bridetobe2018 : I’m not posting asking for advice on how to handle compliments… I know how to handle compliments. What I struggle with is when other women bash their own ring because they feel a way about it relative to mine, or they project an incorrect assumption onto me. I was hoping other people may have had experience handling situations like this, because frankly is has caught me off guard and I never handle it smoothly.
I am sure that I made that clear in my original post so I’m not sure why I keep having to defend myself against falsities like this one. Anyway I’ll be done defending myself against false accusations about my intent, but will be happy to continue conversations relevant to my original question.
Post # 34
beka86 : sounds like that went over better than it could have… Regardless I always wonder what goes through people’s minds when they make comments like that about other rings… Well-intended or not, it is such a sentimental thing that it hardly seems worth it to take the risk of making an unsolicited, opinionated comment
Post # 35
m0thlight : Public Service Announcement: although there are a few big carat rings here, most of the bigger ones (3+ carat) are moissanite.
Post # 36
m0thlight : why would they say that though? I could kind of get it if it were like a 5ct diamond, but even then, are people that tacky? I mean, at a recent party I was so crass (embrassingly) as to ask one of my parents friends if a)her ring was diamond and then b) what size it was.. I still cringe about it but thankfully I know them quite well and she was very graceful (incidentally, it was a 5ct solitaire and anything over 1ct attracts attention in the UK, so,bi felt less bad after). All I did though was gush. It was frickin awesome.
Post # 37
lexipedia1105 : FWIW I understand you. And I didn’t see anything wrong with your post or this one for that matter. And It’s like you said people sometimes just understand incorrectly and twist things in another direction. I’m sorry that some one told you that your ring was nothing special believe I have also been there where people say the meanest things sometimes. I know how it can hurt, especially when It’s about something that is so special to you. But all any of us can do is ignore those type of people. I’ve learn that the hard way.
Post # 38
barbie86 : to be fair I have a friend who’s generally just insecure about most things in her life, and she tends to make awkward comments when she’s feeling vulnerable. I know she doesn’t mean harm but it’s still terribly painful to have to maneuver through. She said something along the lines of “I just prefer small diamonds because big ones are like, gloating” she said this almost in the same breath as a remark about the size of my ring, as well as a compliment, so I knew something was up but didn’t know how to respond.
The other remarks were from coworkers about assumption of price/quality of mine vs. theirs, and were absolutely tacky, as others have mentioned…especially coming from such a distant relation. I doubt your family friend was offended if your relationship is solid and you had nothing but kind words to share… And that you didn’t guilt her by unnecessarily comparing! 🙂
Post # 39
I would give them the benefit of the doubt that they are having a sincere moment of insecurity (rather than assuming that they are being rude or passive aggressive or fishing for compliments) and I would tell them in an enthusiastic voice what I love about their ring. And then change the subject!
Post # 40
Is there no way to have this conversation without a humblebrag being assumed?
When you’ve been on here long enough you see a lot of humblebrags. The bees become suspicious. Probably not including a ring pic in your original post would have allowed you to have this conversation without judgement of it being a humble brag.
Honestly you haven’t had that many instances of this. Three times in five months isn’t that much. Say thank you and move on with your day. People say shit. You have a choice to take it on board or not.
Post # 41
Someone who bashes their own ring in direct comparison to yours is saying more about her own insecurities than about you or your ring. If this happens, I’d just keep it simple and say you think their ring is beautiful. Really, all engagement rings are, for what they symbolize. I wouldn’t justify anything.
Post # 42
cmsgirl : you’re definitely right. I had instant regret about including a ring pic because I know exactly how that might look to others, but I’m a Newbee and couldn’t figure out how to delete it 😌
Post # 43
I find this post so odd. You have a beautiful engagement ring but it is a very typical style (nothing wrong with that – it’s timeless- but you could get that look anywhere). You have a lovely sized diamond, but – maybe it’s just me – I find it so weird that anyone would care. Is the average less than 1 carat where you live?
Post # 44
People compliment and I accept the compliment. I don’t spend much time dwelling on their intentions. I know my ring is preeeetty.
Post # 45
I saw your ring. It is lovely but the stone wasn’t so enormous that extreme jealousy would be a common reaction. Of course, what constitutes a large stone varies widely in terms of region and social circles.
Remember that nobody could have made a comment about your ring if you didn’t post about ring envy in the first place. I’m wondering if you were looking for compliments.
Again, I can’t read minds over the internet. Just like any other Bee, I can only make interpretations based on what is posted in a thread.