Post # 1
Why do people decide to bring a thread that is months, a year, or SEVERAL YEARS OLD back with their own opinion??? I’m not talking about something where someone shares how the thread was helpful, someone has a similar issue/concern/same something and wants feedback/advice/guidance/information (like for a vendor, honeymoon, dress, etc.) from the OP. I’m also not talking about when someone wants to check in with an OP about their thread to see how they are doing when there was no update and the topic was serious (DV, mental illness, divorce, etc.).
It’s when someone writes a post about an issue/situation and months, a year or YEARS later some bee must specifically have searched BACK and decided to share something like: OP you better leave this guy! or You should do X when the OP even SAID she left him, or honestly is now already married, or whatever event that was to come has PASSED. It’s long done and over, and yet some person decides they are not actually going to use logic and reason to realize it’s POINTLESS to add a comment on. You’re not helping.
Sometimes I feel like people just post on here to talk about themselves in their responses to posters, say things like “No way why are you still with this guy??? WHAT’S WRONG WITH YOU. RUN.” and that is not helpful. You do not need to share your thoughts all the time, on every post. I get this is a forum where everyone has the right to share their thoughts while being respectful, but sometimes I see responses on here, especially these “Revival from the Dead Past” threads and have to wonder why this person honestly felt the need to post a response.
Post # 2
It’s usually new posters who I can only assume have no idea what they are doing and don’t know how to Internet.
Post # 3
anonbeebeebee : Honestly I only respond on there when it’s on page one or two of the boards and I actually think it’s new. I hate it too honestly becasue I’ve thought up a nice response but then I see it’s from 5 years ago. UGH!
Post # 4
Post # 5
anonbeebeebee : I think everyone has done it a time or two when they are new. You don’t always notice the date of the OP when you search for something. And God knows WeddingBee’s search feature is not the greatest. It’s only since the last update that you have been able to sort by Relevance or Date and Relevance is still questionable.
Post # 6
anonbeebeebee : On the other hand, some themes in posts are universal, i.e. would you forgive a cheater, how do I stop people from asking when we are getting engaged, etc.
Post # 7
julies1949 : Yeah, I get that. Pretty sure I did that at least once (of course). When a thread is several pages long, I have to wonder why the person didn’t take the time to at least glance through and notice the date (or old-state) of the thread. I think some people are too eager to immediately spout off their opinion (which again, I get it, we are on a forum), but take a few moments to actually read some posts from the OP or others… I am just a bit annoyed that posts from other bees get pushed back when old posts are revived with nothing that seems to be useful. (And of course, that’s MY opinion)
I also have to wonder if they honestly think the OP is reading. I know many bees keep their accounts, have stayed on the boards, or return every once in awhile. I am sure many bees make accounts while “wedding active” and just grow out of the need to use the forum. So then these posters are just making comments and asking for information that isn’t necessary for the resolved or past issue and the OP will maybe never respond….
I understand that probably doesn’t hurt much, unless a poster is saying something rude/useless like: OMG you need to leave him why are you still with him???? This just “grinds my gears”…
Post # 8
- Wedding: May 2016 - Sussex, UK
I find this irrationally irritating too! I remember a bee (not new) bringing back a thread that was 6 years old. I think it was about a bee getting grief for having a no kids wedding. The wedding had happened and the bee updated that all went OK. Bee hadn’t been on the forum for 4 years but was getting tagged. Only takes a few seconds to look at dates etc. Often a new thread should be started.
Post # 9
I did this this morning. I had multiple tabs open and didn’t realize one thread was from a few months ago. I tend to error on the side of giving people the benefit of the doubt that anyone could easily do the same thing. I don’t think anyone is doing it to intentionally piss anyone off and move old posts up/send new posts down.
Post # 10
You are way too angry about this. LOL. I have never done it, but I think the biggest reason this happens is because posters don’t notice the date when they post something.
Post # 11
Annoying to see old threads, sure. Especially if I’ve written a reply and then realise it’s ancient.
People posting about themselves, less annoying. I quite like reading the anecdotes and how individuals have responded to similar situations. To me, it makes advice feel more relatable and gives the posters food for thought rather than I think you should do X y z’
Post # 12
fun topic. 🙂 it always makes me laugh, never upsets me.
but i do hate it when an OP *NEVER* comes back to update their posts or even respond to anyone. especially when they receive pages of wonderful advice. or lots of concerned people that would love to help but have questions that need answered first. and some just have me downright worried and concerned. drives me so crazy!!! then i try to calm down and realize this is just a wedding site and it affects my life in no way at all… lol
sorry to rant about something a bit different. but it seemed fairly appropriate here!
Post # 13
- Wedding: May 2016 - Sussex, UK
nifer317 : that reminds me, did the bee whose OH said her labia now resemble a taco instead of a peach ever respond? I’ll have to go and search….
Post # 14
i think it depends, in certain threads that dont get used as often, years old threads pop up on the second or third page. So it doesnt take a whole lot of searching to find really old threads started years ago.
ive used the search box to look at all kinds of threads that interest me, and sometimes dont realize how old some of them are. Ive also noticed if you search for a specific topic usually the oldest ones pop up on the first page.
I dont think people do it intentionally, but when you search for something specific and the first thread to pop up is from 4 years ago, i dont think people even realize it till after they post a comment.
Post # 15
DaisyBlossom : I agree!
I, personally, can’t give “advice” unless it comes from a place of experience. I’ll usually back that up with my story to show either the outcome or why I voiced my position on a subject.