(Closed) Riddle me this… what to do about our bridal party…

posted 5 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
Member
2295 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: April 2013

Lonely during the ceremony?! No. Now, you could plan it so SOs can sit at the head table as well as the BM/GM, and I think that would be nice. Reception is where more SOs get bored/lonely. 

Post # 4
Member
5480 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: August 2012

I don’t think you HAVE to have even numbers.  What if your FI & his BM stand at the altar, and your BMs either walk in solo, or as a pair?  Uneven sides won’t make your marriage invalid, and an experience photographer will be able to catch shots that don’t look awkward.  I definitely wouldn’t include people just for the sake of including them, that really only leads to drama.

Post # 5
Member
1710 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2013 - Walt Disney World

There is no obligation to make GM’s SOs a BM in your bridal party.  If I did that I would have 12 people in my bridal party.  You can have a sweetheart table for the two of you and a separate table with the other guests where the bridal party can sit with their SOs.  Almost all my BMs have kids as well, so I think I’m going to have them sit with their families..

Post # 6
Member
131 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

You definitely don’t need to ask her to be a bridesmaid. I don’t think there’s anything untactful about asking George to be a GM without asking Stacey to be a BM.

Post # 8
Member
7872 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

As others have said, it’s fine – in fact normal – to not have spouses of GMs/BMs in the bridal party. There is nothing to apologise for, just ask George to be a GM.

p.s. Stacey won’t be lonely in the ceremony, because there is no interaction between guests in the ceremony, people just sit and watch.

Post # 9
Hostess
1427 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

No, you’re not obligated to ask Stacey to be a BM at ALL. Do you have another good friend/relative that you want to be a BM to keep your numbers even? Like other Bees have said, its okay if the numbers AREN’T even…

Post # 10
Member
5480 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: August 2012

@MsGolightly:  Oh, I think that would be cute to have the GM escort both ladies out! 

Post # 11
Member
130 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

@NAvery:  +1

Post # 12
Member
2616 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

we had uneven numbers… it was fine. bridesmaids walked solo and grooms men were at alter with dh before. then they kinda all walked up the aisle as it was their turn to leave— we had 4 bm 1 flowergirl and 5 gm and 2 ring boys.

 

also we had two grooms men with significant other- they didnt mind not being in the party/ we just sat them together during reception.

Post # 13
Member
6015 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: March 2012

No don’t have her as a BM.  lonely during the ceremony is kind of crazy.  As long as you don’t have a head table, so she winds up sitting by herself during dinner, I think your fine.

Post # 15
Member
1936 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: February 2014

@MsGolightly:  I was just in a wedding that had an uneven number of BM & GMs. The groomsmen stood at the front, and the bridesmaids came in one by one. At the end, one girl just had 2 guys (ironic, since she’s cheating on her husband.. but that’s another thread!)

It worked out perfectly. I think since you want to have an intimate group, so with the people you can’t live without. Sounds like Stacy will be just fine, since she’ll get to sit with her hubby at the reception. 

Post # 16
Member
3302 posts
Sugar bee

She may be a bit miffed (my new favorite word) but you are under no obligation to ask her. So leave the decision with your fiance, but tell him she will not be included in the bridal party regardless of his decision.

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