Post # 16
We made the ethical choice to go with a lab diamond and we gladly share that fact however but people have assumed that
1) I/he was duped and that we actually wanted a mined diamond
2) We made the choice due to cost and wanted to pass it off as mined
3) That we didn’t know moissanite existed and would fall in love with one instantly if we saw it.
Post # 17
techmom : I agree! To be clear, my circle of friends definitely does not spend any time discussing rings (unless, say, someone is getting engaged and wants opinions on rings), but on the other hand, former coworkers of mine were always discussing how big so-and-so’s ring was and what so-and-so’s future husband did and how could he possibly afford a ring that size and on and on and on. This was years ago and I am thrilled to be away from that toxic bunch, but it does remind me that some people are unfortunately just like that.
Post # 18
I have a bit of a different assumption that I deal with in daily life. I work in a largely man-dominated profession, and the (very) few women around wear simple bands. So the assumption/stereotype is – if you wear a blingy ring, you’re “less serious”, more “girly” and potentially, not as capable from the professional standpoint.
Post # 19
That is must be a real Diamond, not cubic Zirconium (spelling).
Must be yellow gold not white gold or platinum or even silver
(I have very old fashioned parents and while I am not engaged currently they have commmented on my jewlrey taste many times)
Post # 20
poppy77 : My first ring was a cluster! Admittedly, I hated clusters but ultimately went with it because I thought people expected me to have a diamond and we really couldn’t afford a diamond in a size I would want at the time. So even owning one I was one of those judgey people.
Post # 21
It’s really annoying to me when people assume that every woman wants a diamond, or that if she has a ring with different gemstones it’s because her Fiance couldn’t afford diamonds.
Gee, instead of maybe accepting that your FI knew what you wanted and got something you would love?
Post # 22
That the reason I don’t want a moissanite is because I don’t understand a moissanite.
That a coloured stone doesn’t belong in an engagement ring.
That you need a big fancy ring to be engaged.
That a ring should be a “classic” setting like a solitaire.
Post # 23
mrsbluetomato : There was actually a very interesting article in Harvard Business Review that conducted a study comparing “rich” and “poor” women and men in getting hired. The first part of the experiment was quantitiative- they sent out fake resumes (with identical professional experience, but the “rich” resumes and the “poor” resumes had different but comparable etracurriculars/awards) to a nmber of law firms to see which resumes attracted the most attention. The second part was qualitative- they interviewed hiring managers under the condition of anonymity to get a sense of their biases.
Shocker, the rich men had the most call backs for interviews, but for women, it was actually the opposite. In the qualitative interviews, hiring managers admitted that they prefer not to hire “rich women”, especially married “rich women” because they assume they won’t work as hard because they don’t “need” the job, or that they are only committed to working until they have a baby, etc. That interview always stuck with me and could explain why some of the women in your field wear only plain bands.
Post # 24
beekay : Very interesting! I wasn’t aware of that study but their findings totally make sense. I used to be a bit self-conscious, althouth my ring is not really expensive or anything, but just the fact that I do have a ring next to my band would make me feel uncomfortable sometimes. Intriguingly, I had some disapproving looks from other women, but never from men.
Post # 25
catthebee37 : I have a purple sapphire I had set into a ring, and it cost more money than my diamond engagement ring. Some people think sapphires are inexpensive, but natural, untreated sapphires can cost a lot of money! I love purple too. I think that will be a great choice for an engagement ring.
Post # 26
beekay : This is very, very interesting as I was having a similar discussion the other day. I plan to start interviewing soon to get another job and I have a 1.9 center ct stone on my hand but very far from being ‘rich’. I was thinking whether it would make sense to leave home my engagement ring while interviewing?
Post # 27
butterfly67 : I think it’s a personal decision, but I don’t think it’s a bad idea. Are you married (can you just wear your band)?
Post # 28
beekay : Not married…but maybe I will do a band anyhow. Good idea!
Post # 29
- Wedding: December 2017 - Courthouse
I agree with all of those pet peeves! They drive me nuts too.
Personally, I also really dislike when a girl has a cheaper set and people assume it’s because her FI/DH wouldn’t shell out more. My Fiance probably would have gotten me (within reason) almost anything I wanted but I was the one who wanted to use the money we could have spent on the ring towards our dream honeymoon!
Post # 30
That someone with any other stone can’t afford a diamond. My fiance only looked at diamonds even though I was interested in Morganites (they’re just so beautiful and I’ve seen some stunning morganite rings on the bee…) but in his profession, appearance is everything and he said he didn’t want people to think he was being cheap with me… I don’t think it has anything to do with money, it’s just personal preference.