Ridiculous Assumptions

posted 2 years ago in Rings
Post # 62
Member
6403 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: February 1997

lolac :  I agree. I wore a plain gold band when I interviewed, not necessarily because I assumed mine was larger than others, but because I didn’t want any attention on anything other than what I was saying. I kept my other jewelry very low-key as well for the same reason. Then again, I was interviewing for a teaching position, which isn’t generally a field where people dress up a lot (at least in my district). I wear my ring daily now, and I dress a lot more true to myself (a little dressier than most other people) because everyone knows me and I’ve proven myself as a good employee.

Post # 63
Member
178 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: November 2019

echomomm :  it’s sad we even have to think about this. I work in tech (not IT) and people dress business casual here. If anything, I would say a majority of women in my office have larger rings than I do! Again it’s not about size, but to put things in perspective. I don’t think I would feel comfortable if my interviewer kept looking at my hand. 

I wish these things just didn’t matter. 

Post # 64
Member
100 posts
Blushing bee

lolac : There was a study a couple of years ago that showed women who wore engagement rings in job interviews were less likely to get the job – employers seemed to assume the woman was going to get married, get pregnant, and go on maternity leave and so preferred to hire other options. 

So sad but once I’m engaged I will probably avoid wearing my ring for interviews as well. 

Post # 65
Member
276 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: February 2020

I don’t care about diamonds,  I like designs.    I don’t make assumptions but being on the end of it by my sister and a family friend it really made me self concious.    When they saw my main stone both called it small or dainty.  

They were both expecting some huge rock on my finger.    No guys,  we picked the ring because of the cut of the diamond and how the light reflects off it.   The price was in the middle of the price range so perfect for Fiance and I.   

Post # 66
Member
1764 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2018

lollipoppins :“Some people think sapphires are inexpensive, but natural, untreated sapphires can cost a lot of money!”

I think I read somewhere that saphires are rarer than diamonds. 🙂 

I’m off to google that!

Post # 67
Member
51 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: April 2018

beekay :  I hate the assumption some people have probably made about mine. That it’s probably cheap, I got a cluster because we wouldn’t afford a solitaire etc…The reality is I had a solitaire for my first marriage (no input from me) and wanted something different this time, I love daisy clusters because my mum has one and think it sparkles more than I could ever have imagined!

Post # 68
Member
367 posts
Helper bee

That if you have a bigger stone that you’re trying to impress someone or showing off or want to flaunt your wealth on social media. Some people just like bigger stones. The ring i picked is what I wanted and I don’t give a damn what anyone else thinks of it. I don’t understand why it’s so hard to understand that a woman just likes a big sparkley diamond, just like she may like wearing the color blue or like wearing makeup or likes having her nails done or like wearing heels any number of things that she may like or do for herself.

Also that if its larger its visibly poor quality, yellow or included and you can see it. Its kind of funny because its usually a comment of “it *must* be lower specs because it’s larger” but if you think about the statement itself they’re basically admitting they can’t actually see the difference, it just “must be” poorer quality because it’s larger. Why do you get to decide which of the 4 Cs is more important on someone else’s ring? They might cost the same because each of the “C”s has a price. Carat has a price as much as color. One stone isn’t better because it’s D and the other one isn’t better because it’s bigger, it’s what the WEARER thinks is better and NEITHER one of you are “right”, its just preference.

Which goes to the next assumption, that if it’s larger you dont know about diamonds. You have to know about diamonds to get a larger one that looks exactly the same by eye as a better color or better clarity stone. If you know a lot about diamonds you can get something that looks exactly the same, just larger, for same price.

Post # 69
Member
1079 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2017

That “shrinkage is real” – I’ve only seen/heard that assumption here on the bee, actually. It’s why I went with a slightly larger center stone than I felt comfortable with. At least for me, shrinkage is not a thing.

Post # 70
Member
616 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2020

mrsptobe2017 :  I’ve worn various rings for over 10 years, in all different shapes and sizes.  Sometimes I wonder if the bees who claim ring shrinkage are new to rings (especially with stones), and maybe feel that they are so foreign in the beginning before they get used to it.  I’ve never experienced this!

Post # 71
Member
633 posts
Busy bee

Shesaidyes :  there are a lot of stones rarer than diamonds. Like my morganite ring…don’t get me wrong, I do really love diamonds, but they’re not rare.

Post # 72
Member
633 posts
Busy bee

mrsptobe2017 :  yeah I don’t get the whole “shrinkage” thing. Maybe they just compare their ring to other bees in areas where huge rings are the norm? I have a 1.5 carat equivalent and I feel like mine is enormous still. My morganite is a 3 carat and it’s still got great coverage the way I wanted.

Post # 73
Member
1079 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2017

greeneyedbee :  Same! But maybe I’m doing the same thing, it’s just that in my area/field of work/friend group, huge rings aren’t the norm. I also have a 1.5 carat equivalent, but most people I know have 1 carat or smaller.

Post # 74
Member
1422 posts
Bumble bee

Only rich people can have valid reasons to not want a diamond.

Basically, any time someone says they got moissy or a gemstone it’s followed up with “but we could have afforded a diamond, I just didn’t want one”. Or when people are judging non-diamond rings they always bring up cost as in “they just got [not diamond] because they couldn’t afford a diamond and are just pretending they could”.

I couldn’t afford a diamond. But I also have issues with diamonds and didn’t want a diamond or any clear stone. I just don’t think they’re that pretty and I have ethical concerns about them. But I’m poor, so I’m just saying that because I’m jealous or something. If I had more money I’d *obviously* go straight to a jewelry store to replace my ring (sarcasm if you hadn’t noticed it).

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