(Closed) Ridiculous Guest List

posted 8 years ago in Family
Post # 3
Member
8353 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: March 2011

Unfortunately, when your parents are paying for the wedding they have more say than you do. You can voice your concerns to them again, but I doubt it will do any good. They are very happy that you and your Fiance are getting married and they want to share their joy with everyone they can.

Post # 4
Member
617 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2009

I do have to agree with noritake22.  If they are willing to foot the bill then I don’t think I would say anything about it.  Personally I would let them invite who they wanted as long as I already had those who I wanted to be there on our special day. 

Post # 6
Member
617 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2009

Ohhh I see…Then I think a conversation needs to be had then.  Could you Fiance have a talk with them?  If not, I think you should first sit down with your parents and discuss it with them to explain how you feel about it and then meet with you Future In-Laws to (kindly) explain why it cannot happen.  Good luck!!

Post # 7
Member
8353 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: March 2011

Maybe your FIL’s could just pay for the extra people.

Post # 9
Member
333 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

How much of the guest list is yours and how much is IL’s?  If the IL’s is much larger, you definitely have a right to stick up for your parents.  I’m going to disagree with the two previous posters to a point.  Yes they are splitting the costs but at the same time there is a lot required of you in planning a wedding of this size.

 You may want to have you Fiance talk with your future inlaws and explain to both sets of parents how much extra this is going to cost.   You should also be up front with both parents of the costs.  I find a number of people really have no idea what a wedding will actually cost.

Post # 12
Member
617 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2009

I’m sorry you are going through this.  I still think somehow it needs to be addressed-whether by you, your Fiance or your own parents.  I know that’s going to be a tough conversation especially given the dynamics of the Future In-Laws.   The good thing is that you do still have some time to get this all sorted out.  Try not to stress too much about it-I know that is also easier said than done.  Hang in there 🙂  

Post # 13
Member
333 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

I think you should make an outline of the kind of wedding you and your Fiance would like to have.  What things you would like to plan, have control over, venue, and number of people (be realistic in the number of friends and immediate family) should all be included.  Be realistic in the costs, advantages and disadvantages of this type of wedding.  Also put together an outline of the type of wedding your FIL’s would like, being realistic with everything outlined above.  Then…  get your parents, Fiance parents and yourselves in the same place (maybe your appartment) if possible.  I think the three sets of stake holders need to have an open and honest conversation about the logistics, costs and tone of the wedding. 

As a side note, we very purposely chose to have a smaller wedding.  We could have had a 200+ wedding with everyone one invited but we wanted it to be more about close family and friends with a wedding of ~80 (a max of 100 due to venue). 

 

Post # 15
Member
333 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

Congrats!

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