Post # 1
i need somewhere to put this so I chose to put it here. I just finished a bachelor degree in a healthcare field and revealed my actual position on LinkedIn where my Mother-In-Law follows me because she likes to keep tabs on everyone and everything and I’m sure she calculated that I outearn my husband and is upset that I got an actual degree before him. She was livid at my success, saying that it isn’t my job to work to support the family and that my husband is unambitious because of me. She went on to call him all these horrible things and then blame me for them.
My husband is not perfect and we have our ups and downs, but being openly blamed for his flaws and having her tell me that she didn’t raise him like that was laughable. I mean, I didn’t raise him and I regularly encourage him to pursue higher education because his job pays for it, but does she think he will do anything unless he wants to? She went on to tell me that I am a bad wife for not being more strict with him. I am not his mom and I told her that she is welcome to share this piece of her mind with him!
I was annoyed and shared it with my husband because there is truth to it and he deserves to know how his own mother talks about him. It started an exchange of words and I somewhat regret telling him anything his mother said but if she is openly angry that I finished my degree and got a promotion then that is terrible. Most people say “congratulations!” She is the worst!
Anyway, I also told her this in a nice way and she got upset and said she fears that we will keep her from seeing our kids. She openly disrespects us to our kids and causes conflict, especially with our lifestyle and home size. We simply can’t afford a good down payment on a house yet and she acts like we are terrible people because of it when she’s provides my husband’s younger brother with home renovations and bill payments. I think she has no right to be hard on my husband and should be happy for my contributions to our family.
Does anyone else have in laws or a mother in law who is just terrible and not happy with anything no matter what it is? She would be happy if we split so that keeps me from wanting to! I am just sick of her getting nosy and trying to interfere with our relationship, plus talking bad about us to our kids for not having a larger house. She expects my family to buy us a house or something because they helped place us in our current house, yet is angry that I am working to help financially.
I feel like keeping the kids from her but don’t want to be completely petty. How do you handle angry in laws? Just let them vent and forget about them?
Post # 2
“She openly disrespects us to our kids and causes conflict”
So why DO you see her? Why do you even pickup the phone when she calls or texts? She sounds like an entitled ass.
Post # 3
- Wedding: May 2015 - St Peter\'s Church, East Maitland, and Bella Vista, Newcastle
You might find some helpful info over at the Reddit sub /JUSTNOMIL – it sounds to me that you have every reason to keep your kids from her.
Post # 4
I don’t think it’s petty to keep your kids from her when she openly disrespects you and your husband in front of them. In fact, I think it’s in their best interest that they be kept away from someone so toxic.
Post # 5
Thank you everyone. We did this before and she got very upset and played the poor me card to everyone while painting us in a bad light without revealing why. She is divorced because no one tells her no and she is a loose cannon. My husband regularly points out that she could never make a relationship work because of her bad attitude. I feel like she wants us divorced so she can have my husband all to herself and set him up with other women, strange as that sounds. She just loves bragging about him but now that he is committed to me she hates it and tries to stir up trouble whenever things are going decent. She can’t handle me being happy.
Post # 6
This is what my family said. She is all over my business too! Every social media account I have she found me and follows me. It is excessive.
Post # 7
Block her on social media!!!
Post # 8
She sounds terrible and I would definitely distance yourself. Block her on social media and stop seeing her.
However there were some red flags in your post about you/your marriage too irrespective of your Mother-In-Law, like this: She would be happy if we split so that keeps me from wanting to!
What do you mean by that bee?
Post # 9
Holly Batman! To me this is cut of worthy. Bye Felicia!
She called your husband (her son) names because he doesn’t have a degree? She thinks you are responsible for his lack of motivation to get one? What? She talks bad to your kids about you? Excuse me? (This alone would warrant 1 warnimg then a cut off if it ever happened again) She is being openly nasty about you bettering yourself, your job and the life of your family? And she is is sexist saying that it’s basically not your job to do this and your husband is the one who is supposed to do it? What is wrong with this woman? This is craziness.
They will teach you how to deal with this nonsence.
Post # 10
She knows too much information. Stop telling her things. Your husband needs to stand up to her and tell her that her nastiness will not be tolerated. If she starts in on either of you during a visit you leave. If she’s asks why your husband can be 100% honest and say you will not tolerate being disrespected and the visit is over. Then you don’t see her again for 3 months.
Post # 11
Thank you. She is nuts. Like I said, she is single and no one is around to call her in her crazy so she acts out of line often and seems to think she can get away with it. She is openly a bad influence on my husband, glorifying extravagant purchases then acting like “oh if you weren’t married with responsibility of kids then you could have this” attitude. Our 10 year wedding anniversary is coming up and she barely acknowledges it, simply saying to me that she wishes he accomplished more in 10 years. Talk about terrible.
Post # 12
You have been posting for 3 years about problems with your in-laws and the bees have been telling you for 3 years that the problem is your husband.
As an aside, your mil does sound awful, but I find it very odd that you always mention that she’s divorced or single. There are pleny of terrible mils who are married, so I’m not sure why you think this is important enough to mention multiple times. Some of the comments I don’t even understand, like this one: “She is divorced because no one tells her no”. What does this even mean? It’s almost like you’re using “divorced” as an insult or code for how horrible she is. She IS horrible, but using divorce as an insult says more about you than about her. I can’t help wondering if this attitude about divorce is why you’re still shackled to someone who doesn’t respect you, and possibly you are subconsciously jealous that she’s free. Methinks the lady protests too much kind of thing. Again — she is awful to you. No argument there. But so is your husband, and he is the one not living up to his vows to cherish and cleave unto you. Just food for thought. Congratulations on the degree, that is amazing especially with 6 kids! Best wishes.
Post # 13
She sounds a lot like my Mother-In-Law. What we do is gray rock her. Basically cut off the information train. You are doing well, he is doing well, the kids are doing well, we are all very busy with kids’ activities, chores, and errands.
Oh, asking an intrusive question about your son? I don’t know the answer to that, maybe ask him? Trying to talk shit about him/someone else? Got hurt fee-fees because someone gave you honest feedback regarding your narcissism? Aw, I’m sorry you feel that way.
We do let her see our daughter but it’s akways under strict parameters that we don’t share with her. For example, we only tell her about and invite her to events where there will be people she’s trying to impress/put on appearances for to ensure she is on her best behavior. She is never allowed to be alone with her or anyone else – we distract her by taking pictures of her because the woman has like 1000+ film photos of herself including a giant one of herself over the bed.
Don’t share anything nasty she says about your man even if you kind of agree with it. She has no place in your relationship. Keep things between you and him.
Post # 14
my husband is better now at putting me first and when he puts me first he seems to get backlash from his mother in particular. It’s like she wants him all to herself to replace her ex husband who is happily married. I say no one tells her no because when I do, it seems like a word she never hears and doesn’t comprehend. She is used to getting her own way. Yes, the freedom of single life sounds good but my father in law who is not perfect by any means, just nice as can be and very positive and supportive of our relationship and my success, claims that she was always like this and that’s why their marriage ended.
Anyway, I let her know that even when she says things to me they don’t stay with just me if I feel restating them may bring positive change.
Thank you for your tips. She is very greedy and entitled and wants what’s best for her son and makes it obvious that she doesn’t think that I fit into that somehow. I think it is human nature. I just am dumbfounded by how manipulative she is and how these colors show. What happened to being polite and saying a simple “congratulations! That’s incredible!” It’s the way she comes across that pushes people away. I push back and she acts shocked when I do. Oh well. At least I care. Thanks again!
Post # 15
Thank you. I encouraged her to speak with my husband about her concerns but because I told him some of what she said to me and he got upset hearing it and told her to go to hell basically, she told me that there was no point talking with him. I feel like I am the scapegoat. When things go wrong, I am blamed for it. Because I am here, things are not how she likes. I pretty much told her that I don’t get my way all way all the time either so to stop acting like I do and just accept things!