(Closed) Right now I just want to complain

posted 6 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
Member
4327 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: January 1992

@gogogiraffes:  One of my old high school teachers always said: Praise in public, criticize in private. I’d have a stern chat with my Fiance about the unacceptability of doing that with his father. Then I’d try to find a solution to the problem WITH him. 

Post # 5
Member
4464 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: February 2012

Ugh I hate what weddings bring out in people sometimes. My mom was basically paying for my wedding herself and my father was contributing a little and my father was totally hands off, whatever makes you happy. My husband’s family criticized everything, demanding we add more and more people to the guest list and bitching about everything. We had to go between so many dates just to make them happy but NOTHING was going to make them happy.

The one thing that my husband and I struggled with during our wedding planning was him putting me first and showing a united front, and standing up to his family on behalf of me and him. I see in what my husband was doing then a little bit of what you’re describing with your fiance now. That’s definitely something you need to straighten out with your fiance (which you know) because if he does have an opinion that he wants to voice out of the blue in contradiction to past things he’s said in front of family? Not the time or place and not the mature way to handle things. I agree with your update on how you plan on handling the situation and straightening things out. 

Post # 7
Member
4464 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: February 2012

@gogogiraffes:  Ugh I’m sorry! I know the feeling when all the stress in your life all of a sudden just dumps on you at one time! I hope everything works out and that some of the people causing more stress can take chill pills!

Post # 9
Member
4464 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: February 2012

@gogogiraffes:  That is SO frustrating! Some people are like that and just won’t be pleased or happy with anything because of their own issues which they then project onto others! 

That work schedule soundsl great for this week especially since you’re so stressed. Enjoy your facial and chiropractor appointment – those are good things to look forward to! Definitely hint around to fiance that you need a mssage Smile

Post # 11
Member
4464 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: February 2012

@gogogiraffes:  I love facials. Squeezing the blackheads hurts a little but I always feel great about my skin afterward! Plus cleaning out things and tidying up is such a good idea. It’s one of my favorite ways of de-stressing and feeling refreshed. 

Post # 13
Member
333 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

His fiance also ganging up on you with his dad is unacceptable! This is honestly a huge red flag – especially coupled with the fact that he says one thing to you when it’s just you two, but says something else when around his family. Marriage is about you two being teammates through and through. He should be on your side always, and if he disagrees, he should be able to tell you he disagrees to your face, not just when his family has his back. In the grand end of things, it will just be you and him, so the two of you need to be able to have really good communication NOW and ALWAYS. I would recommend counseling. I would be beyond furious and really hurt if my fiance ganged up on me with my father in law, over things he had agreed to in private. Good luck hon.

Post # 14
Member
332 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

 

While I haven’t had the Fiance gang up on me with his family he would say one thing to me and when his family complained about everything and I mean everything he’d come back to me and say it needs to change. I’ve compromised on just about everything because of them that I felt very adamant on not changing. I’ve called off the wedding due to this which was supposed to happen in two weeks. I told him until you stand up to your family this isn’t happening because I am not having them control what we decide later in life as it’s starting with this one freaking day.

I know how you feel. It’s annoying as h*ll, you can read my previous posts about it. You do need to have a talk with your Fiance because that is not right. PM me if you’d like.

Post # 15
Member
332 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

@star_dust:  I’ve had the same issue.

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