(Closed) Ring and Culture

posted 8 years ago in Rings
Post # 32
Member
192 posts
Blushing bee

@Oxfordnerd:  the area isn’t typical of the rest of the Netherlands… LOL so true … I know all about “Gooise Vrouwen”

Post # 33
Member
292 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

@Oxfordnerd:  Yeah, I don’t think I have a representative sample around me. Even my FI’s aunt and uncle (from Tilburg), who got married about 7 years ago, had a pretty huge wedding. Their wedding had 2 days worth of events, so they were doing the wedding weekend thing before it became so popular. I believe the Aunt also wore a pantsuit and not a wedding dress, but I might be wrong. It was definitely a 2-piece outfit and not a dress, and no veil in sight. I wish I could help you deal with the Dutch somber-ness, but my Future In-Laws don’t really fit that mold. I am slightly worried about the Dutch guests being disappointed that my wedding isnt “exactly like in the movies!” I do understand the financial side of things though. I feel really strange asking his parents for any money for anything because that is just so not done here. But then it’s weird for my parents that they are paying for a big portion (namely venue/food). I’m glad I have tons of time to figure all this stuff out.

Post # 34
Member
192 posts
Blushing bee

@WoodenShoes:  trying to make the point that women here don’t really expect rings, let alone have a minimum carat requirement. This is so true: Dutch women do not expect anything: no ring, not the down on one knee thing and not a one of a kind proposal. I wonder if most Dutch men even propose or that couples just figure out that it’s about time to tie the knot, esspecialy if there is some financial or tax benefit or another way that can save them money on the long term 😉

 

 

Post # 36
Member
292 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

@legallyblonde:  my in-laws just decided to get married when they were starting college (in a new city) because they didn’t feel like paying 2 rents every month, but their parents wouldn’t approve of them moving in before marriage. The uncle i talked about in the last post, he proposed probably a few times a year for a few years until the aunt actually said yes! (They had kids together already, so they were clearly already committed) So together they cover the spectrum from no proposal to many proposals. haha.

Post # 39
Member
513 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

@Anardana:  LOL Oh I agree, but then as was said about Diamonds that cost more over in Europe I think as europeans we are also use to gemstones costing more than they are in other parts of the world.. Hence my never looking at a gemstone ring that is on a wedding finger and thinking it is anything other than an Engagement ring..or that it was cheaper than a Diamond ring..

In my last position I worked for an internationl team and I worked with the following:

A German – she wore NO rings – and rarely even wore her wedding band – which was a thin plain band, and often wore it on her right hand (customary in germany)

Chinese – she had stated that in her first marrige she never wore her engagement ring in public as it would have been considered disprespectful to her family as she was marrying into a wealthy family she would have been dishonoring them to flaunt such wealth!!!

Dutch – she never wore an engagement ring – she wore a wooden wedding ring

Indian – she wore a 3ct Diamond and loved it (although she would say that if she was visiting her country she would NOT wear it!)

Middle Eastern – their rings are understated.

So I do think that around the world the traditions and beliefs for rings is very different… I just wish that we could really get away from it being ‘materalistic’ and more about ‘Love’!!!

Post # 40
Member
1331 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: January 2012

@Anardana:  Yeah, I’d read that too. I looked at both hands, but the girls I hang with don’t wear a ring on either hand.

Post # 42
Member
11231 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: August 2013

I live in a wealthier area, though it’s fairly small. I’ve seen lots of women here with gigantic rings (sometimes clusters, sometimes not), but I’ve gotten nothing but compliments on my ring. It’s white gold ring with a halo and a .25ct center stone (.5ct total) with lots of detail. The halo makes it look much bigger, and I have really small fingers. I’ve only gotten one comment that was construed as rude (because I know her); while what she was saying was nice, her tone implied that my ring is small. My ring IS small, but it’s what I wanted (I tried on bigger versions of my ring and they didn’t look that great). She also didn’t think her ring was big enough and had her husband replace several of the diamonds for bigger ones. So many people have commented on how expensive my ring must have been, but honestly, it was under $1000 (which is also what I wanted).

Originally, I wanted a gemstone ring, but Fiance said that they all look like ugly cocktail rings to him, and that he was too traditional to get anything else. We both ended up compromising. Only my grandparents have seen my ring, but they love it and think it’s amazing. I did tell them that it didn’t cost as much as it looks like it did, but my grandma’s ring is also a diamond chip solitaire with a plain band.  

Post # 43
Member
79 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

I live in the US in the southern states… Its varies alot here… Anywhere from 1/10th carat to 3 carats… Its insane… But the average I see the most in my provence would be around 1/3 carat to 1/2 carat… My ring is 1/2 carat total with a plain wedding band…

Post # 44
Member
1595 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

To be perfectly honest, I never really thought about the “size” diamond I wanted, I had envisioned a certain stye that I liked but that was it. Apparently, my SO’s mother was adament that I have a 2 carat diamond. She felt that the ring that is given to you should be your “forever” ring with no upgrades or anything later down the road. She was appalled when my SO’s brother gave his Fiance a .93 carat stone and thought it looked like a “chip” (but this also could be because of the style of cut–it lacked depth)…

We live in New York City, if that means anything.

Honestly, I definitely don’t agree with the belief that you shouldn’t upgrade later on down the road, but I wasn’t going to complain about her 2 carat ideal! I actually did think 2 carats was too big on my hand at first, but I slowly (okay rapidly) adjusted!

Post # 45
Member
2104 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

This has been very interesting to read.  Even within the U.S., it differs.  My Midwestern family’s reaction to my ring was very different than DH’s Texan family…my grandpa’s reaction was “He didn’t put a ring on it, he put a ROCK on it.”  I don’t even consider my center stone to be that big (0.79 cts), but for the area, it is.  Surprisingly, neither side really gave us flack about not having diamonds in my ring.

Post # 46
Member
505 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

That is so funny you mention this OP, my teacher friends and I were just discussing this the other day. We work in a very wealthy suburb of Chicago, IL where it is the norm for many of the moms to have massive 2, 3, 4 ct. rings. We recently had a family move here from Australia and that mother’s ring is quite small in comparison. It’s a beautiful ring but certainly gets a bit dwarfed when it’s next to another mom’s ring. This new familiy could certianly afford a ring as large as the other mom’s but it’s clear that where they are from, large rings do not hold the same value as they do here. Interesting. Thanks for posting.

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