(Closed) Ring and Culture

posted 8 years ago in Rings
Post # 47
Member
513 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

@Anardana:  LOL…. I am soooo having the colour GREEN!!!!  but Yes you should NOT have a green wedding dress as it is said that it is unlucky and that you are shamed of the Groom!!!!  However being for the most part Celtic the colour green is important!!! 

In many parts of England and espcially the North superstitions are a BIG part of life and I will be honset and say that there were various aspects that with this wedding that I have more adhered to because of it!!! lol  Like we are marrying on a Tuesday (Only because we could not get a wednesday – apprently the best day of all – because the numbers of the date did not work with a wednesday!!!)  Just like the month that you marry in – in England it ALL has a significance for one reason or another! 

Here is a website with such superstitions:

http://www.weddings.co.uk/info/tradsupe.htm

In truth I find it totally facinating learning about different cultures than what we are brought up around and with, which in turn has made me a person that does not judge another on sight, because what is acceptable to one culture would be in insult to another.  Just as the colour green for a wedding dress in England would be a NO NO but in China RED is considered THE colour to wear for a wedding dress… I find it slighty amusing at times when people talk about it being ‘Non-traditional’ to have a coloured e-ring or a coloured wedding dress etc etc BUT if they researched history they would discover that ‘coloured’ WAS the tradition!!! LOL  

Perhaps each bride should just make their OWN tradition for the wedding she and her Groom desire to have…after all the world is now a place were because travel to other places is so much easier than years ago the cultures are mixing and therefore traditions of old are being primarily blended to make new ones.. I myself am in a mixed relationship and are using both cultures traditions for the wedding. πŸ™‚

Post # 48
Member
7977 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: July 2013 - UK

LOL OP… I posted on a similar issue to this before, where I wondered out loud if my culture and class wasn’t influencing my opinions a lot! All this stuff only started occurring to me when I started visiting Weddingbee and thought about how different it all is in the USA, compared to the UK (where I’m from).

But yes, as a proud Northerner (I grew up in Manchester) and a very middle class girl, I would have been appalled by a huge rock. This is partly because (and I’m ashamed to say it, although I have ‘fessed up before on here), in Manchester then Big Rock = Footballer’s Wife/ Gold-digging Ho’/ No Class. So yeah, I need to scrap my “I am superior because I’m not materalistic” smugness, and get with the reality… I’m as much of an anthropological rarity as everyone else!

(Seriously though, how interesting is Weddingbee when it is used to facililtate studies of people and their habits?)

Post # 49
Member
1149 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2013 - Ontario, Canada

Im Swedish and in Sweden you traditionally exchange plain bands at the engagement and then the bride gets a diamond (usually a 5 stone) band at the wedding. These days a lot of people have been influenced by the US traditions though and the woman gets a solitaire but it is typically around 0.2ct so smaller is more common (my mom has 2 gold bands and her wedding band has a 0.1ct stone in it).

My SO is Canadian though have British parents and we live in the UK so we where looking for a middle ground. We agreed we wanted to get the best stone for the budget set and were looking at something around 1ct. We then found my ring (an antique old mine cushion which we both fell in love with) in a small antique shop for an amazing deal (same as we would have paid for a 1ct) which is the only reason I ended up with a massive 2.5ct rock. My family as well as his were quite shocked of the size but all think it is amazingly beautiful.

Post # 50
Member
593 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

I live in a suburb of Detroit that borders some of the fancier suburbs.  I have a 1.75ct solitaire pear diamond and I dont necessarily feel I get any looks here – not that my size ring is standard I just dont think it is viewed as flashy for the American standard.  Its certainly lovely, and I am head over heels for it but I dont think it is HUGE for here.

I travel internationally for work and here are my most recent observations:

-Amsterdam: while I dont necessarily think my ring would have turned heads here I did turn it around quite often to not attract attention.

-India: I was in Hyderabad and at our companies site which is I would say middle working class.  It was heavily suggested if not required that I did not take my engagement ring.  I was so sad because it was just a few weeks after my wedding and I wanted to have more time with both my rings together!  Instead I wore just my band (thin shared prong setting – not too big but dont know the tcw).  Even my wedding band turned heads and I did not wear it into the markets.

-Shanghai:  I was out to dinner with some of my counterparts (middle class at least, maybe a touch higher) and the one girl flat out said “Oh my god your ring is SO big”…one of the more awkward moments of my life.  What do you say to that?  Well I just said “thank you”!  I did proceed to ask if diamonds were common to which they said yes, especially in the upper classes but diamonds as large as mine were not common at all.

Its interesting to see all the different perspectives!

Post # 54
Member
201 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

I dunno about culture but my husband knows I work in a female-dominated environment, so it has to be pretty. lol

Post # 55
Member
333 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

i’m from the UK (london) and although none of my close friends are engaged (nor am i, but getting there very soon & i’m considered young to do so – 24), i know that rings are a lot more understated here than in the US. i think i read an article about it actually. in general, people in the UK/france/other european countries tend to get extremely high quality stones, but smaller. even people with very high-end jobs tend to have fairly modest size stones. 

Post # 56
Member
44 posts
Newbee

I am also Dutch! I started i thread in pricescope about diamonds and culture. I’ve grown up to never show wealth, looking like a homeless person is much better than looking wealthy (seriously). My family owns many diamonds, gem stones and pearls…all sitting in the safe because my mom and grandmonther don’t know when to wear them ..arggg. 

The Dutch are very down to earth, most times a couple decides to get married together and if there are rings involved they are a few hudred euro’s or even silver often. Marriage isn’t that important, lots of people live together and never get married. My brother has been with his girfriend for over 20 years! The wedding bands are often on the cheaper side aswell. Spending alot on jewellery is considered foolish. I am a bit different from my family and i love wearing my family’s jewellery and nice things. I love clothes and bags and i am being frowned upon by many πŸ˜‰ I will have a .68 solitaire when he proposes πŸ™‚

 

Post # 57
Member
292 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

I live in San Jose, California. The city I live in is so large that engagement ring culture varies depending on what area you’re in. Where I live, I’ve noticed that most people have between .50-1ct. stones. I have a .50ct. stone and it’s average for where I live. I’ve never had someone say anything rude about my ring. Most people who comment on it tell me that it’s a big stone. It’s unusual to see a stone that isn’t a diamond around here, but I don’t think someone with a non-diamond would be judged harshly.

There is a much more affluent part of town about a 10-15 minute drive from my area. Most people there are materialistic and show off their wealth. Over there, it’s common to see 1ct.+ stones in very flashy and ostentatious settings. A non-diamond stone would most likely be criticized. My stone is considered small; I’d say maybe the smallest size considered acceptable. Any smaller than half a carat and you’d probably get some rude looks and remarks.

About 5-10 minutes away from where I live, there is a less wealthy area where smaller stones are commonly seen. It’s uncommon to see a 1ct. stone. My stone is probably considered large.

San Francisco is a 45 minute drive from my city, and it’s common to see artisan, gemstone rings there. I don’t think people would bat an eye at a non-diamond ring because the city is incredibly diverse and has a very nonconformist feel.

Post # 58
Member
3148 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: February 2010

I’m from Seattle, and most women I see have non-flashy rings. but then again, many of us dress for comfort here. by looking around, you’d think that REI was the main store to get clothes (a sporting goods store), and it’s considered normal to wear jeans to a nice restaurant or the opera. it’s a city where people spend a lot of money on environmentally friendly goods (like buying all-organic or driving priuses) but have little emphasis on sparkly luxury items. 

in addition to this, most of my friends don’t have a lot of money and nobody has a ring bigger than .5ct. many don’t have an e-ring at all. 

the result for me? I kind of wanted a bigger diamond ring (1ct or more) but I was too shy to ask for one and I think I would feel a little self-conscious wearing it around here.

Post # 59
Member
1094 posts
Bumble bee

This is a really interesting thread! I’m from Montreal, Canada and our situations is a little more complicated. Our population has two major demographics, French and English. In the French-Canadian population, getting married is actually not very common anymore. After living together for 2 years, people become “conjoints de fait” like an unofficial union that basically gives you many of the same rights and legal benefits marriage provides. When French-Canadians do get engaged, I would say the diamond size is somewhat smaller (0.25-0.5 ct.). However, in the English community people still very much get married and the expectations are similar to those in the US. There are a lot of cultural microcosms which have their own sets of norms. In our community, the expectation is somewhat bigger (1-1.5 ct.). It’s definitely a socially constructed expectation, and I don’t necessarily agree with it…

Post # 60
Member
1842 posts
Buzzing bee

This is an interesting thread, and I think that we should not only take in to account culture but also personal priorities. We could easily have afforded a 2+ carat ring if we wanted, but I prefered to use that excess money on remodeling the kitchen and traveling to Italy in two weeks! (really excited about that)

As far as culture goes, I live in a VERY isolated town in rural alaska there are plenty of people that come through on a temporary bases (traveling nurses, teachers, drs etc) which have more traditional rings (they are considered “lower 48 style) but many locals and especially village residents will just have a plain gold or sometimes even silver band possibly with a coloured stone. I have one friend whos wedding band is even jade and another whos is ivory becuase that is what they had/could afford at the time. Here if you do have diamonds, even if you are a lawers wife, they are small and dainty, maybe a 3 or 5 stone totaling .5ct and most all jewlery is purchased online or on out of town vacations to Anchorage as we don’t even have a local jewlery store.

My diamond is on the larger side 1.52 carat, which is considered huge but it is highly included and of an unsusal cut so many people think it is just a piece of class or a crystal which I am fine with. I have had many people come up to be and say how much they love ‘crystals for rings’ and I don’t correct them, but would probably think I was being showy if they knew it were a diamond.

Post # 61
Member
693 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: December 2011

This is just my two cents. I’m American by birth and settled in Florida now- I was born on US soil, however I was raised a Military Brat and my mother’s side of the family is from Ireland. For my first wedding, we had the traditional “promise ring” “betrothal ring” “wedding ring” with all the trimmings of a true, large wedding but not in a Catholic church (which I still will never hear the end of- I married a non-Catholic-we’re divorced and my mum is ever so happy!)

The size of my stones to many in the US was pretty small- quite a few ribbed me and my ex-husband saying he was too cheap to buy me a nice ring and set. Finally I had enough and used my tax money and bought a decent set (only spent $400 at Wal-mart) and it seemed to shut them up. However, my Irish side of my family was shocked at the money we spent on the rings versus the wedding so none of them were very happy in either case.

For my second wedding (married to Mr. now and hopefully last) we started out again- with a small stone- it was roughly a half carat- and we still got ribbed by the Yanks about the size while my Irish side gasped about how big it was to them. When my Mr. got a nice promotion through work, he bought me a bigger stone. I seriously thought my Gran was going to twist her knickers when she heard he bought me a 2 carat stone. After I was insulted by a woman here in the US about how offensive that stone was to her and shameful it was to my husband, we sold the ring and I downsized to a .56 stone.

I’m still not making either side of my family happy with the new downgrade lol. I finally gave up and just decided to wear something that I like, that fits me and bully to the rest of them!

I’ve had quite a few rings over the last 9 years from Mr. and of course I’ve been called quite a few names for not pinching pennies and saving the money for other things.

Apparently the women in my family don’t understand the fact I love jewelry and wear it as an expression of what I wear and they see it as frivilous and a waste. They’ve only had one ring their entire marriage so anything more than that is crazy.

Where I’m at in Florida, the average ring size here is between a 1/2 carat up to 4 carats ( most of the tcw is multiple stones- halos, clusters, 3 stone etc.)

I guess it all depends on where you live, your cultural background, your finances and what you personally prefer.

I’ve since learned you can’t please everyone and it’s better to enjoy the meaning than the bling. What’s important to me is that I love Mr. and I’m his wife. I am still his wife, ring or no ring. Some people just put too much importance on silly things!

I could sell all of my jewelry and be done with it, but since I’m settled in the US I have more fun playing dress up with them πŸ™‚

The topic ‘Ring and Culture’ is closed to new replies.

Find Amazing Vendors