Post # 62
In the US…no one paid much attention to my 1/2 ct TW with 0.25 center stone halo e-ring. In Jamaica, persons have been more vocal about how pretty, how many diamonds as quite a few women here get yellow gold twisty kind of ring sets. In my lecture, quite a few of my students with bigger stones admitted that the stones were in fact CZ as diamonds were too expensive (high duty tariffs on jewelry).
As such, I am quite surprised to see the debate and the demands that some US brides make for big center stone diamong rings and consider 1 carat rings small.
Post # 63
I think it’s an insecurity/competition issue for many… Women insisting on bigger rings b/c they don’t want people to think their Fiance doesn’t make good money, that he’s cheap, etc. I think there are plenty of ladies who get a big diamond simply so they can impress &/or fit in w/their friends or coworkers. Not saying all are that way, but many are, especially in metropolitan areas in the U.S. (Dallas, for instance.) If you & your SO are truly in love, I would assume your friends are well aware. You really think they’ll dwell on the size of your ring? If so, FIND NEW FRIENDS.
I can’t wrap my head around anyone ever saying a gal’s ring is too small or too big, either… I’d give them the tongue-lashing of their life!
Post # 64
Hey, I’m also from the UK
I do agree that Diamonds are much more expensive here! My H2B bought mine off of Blue Nile which was much more reasonable cost wise, being an American Site, and when we were in NYC a few years ago his best mate asked if we would pic up a diamond for him as again he could get much more for his money in the States, didn’t work out in the end as he couldn’t sell his bike in time, but the diamond was much cheaper 🙂
I personally don’t know anyone with a ring above 1 carat, that includes total weight, some of my Mum’s friends may have bigger rings, but I haven’t noticed, mine is less that half which seems to be quite average where I am from, I also don’t know many people that bother with the 4 C’s either, most jewellers here don’t have certification for the rings they sell in store (chain stores that is), other than size of diamond. The first I really knew about the 4 C’s was through the research that my H2B did and he educated me lol To me just the simple fact that I have a diamond makes me eeeek, no matter what size, but as said I didn’t really have a clue about them to begin with 😀
Post # 65
This thread is pretty interesting! It’s amazing how different things can be even in a small country like the Netherlands. My husband is Dutch and when we had our engagement party, I found out afterwards that a few people were looking to see what HIS engagement ring looked like. Apparently for at least part of his family, it’s considered a tradition for the man to get an engagement ring at the same time.
When he proposed to me, it wasn’t a flashy deal, but it WAS the perfect proposal for me none-the-less. He didn’t have the ring at that time, but it wasn’t because he thought it wasn’t expected (he did and felt so bad that he didn’t have one for me – personally I was just happy he’d asked me and didn’t care about a ring) but because he made a decision to ask me to marry him and didn’t want to wait to ask!!
When it came to my ring itself, we picked it out together and we looked for something small that wouldn’t leave huge diamond imprints in my face when I inevitably rested my head on my hand. lol Yes that seriously was the biggest criteria! He’s not a flashy guy, so his input was to look for something a bit more on the simple side and we ended up with a 1/2 tcw diamond ring that I absolutely adore! 🙂
As for the somber Dutch family, I can’t relate to that either. My in-laws are amazing people who have been supportive, warm and wonderful throughout our dating, engagement and start of our marriage! 🙂
I do have to say that when I got engaged and started telling friends and family, I had one friend who’s first question was “Did he get you a big rock?!” and when I told her no, he hadn’t gotten me a ring and told her about the proposal, said “Oh well… don’t worry, I’m sure he’ll get you something.” That annoyed me, because I cared about the engagement and not some physical item that I’d get from it.
I forgot to add, that yeah, diamonds (and maybe gold?) is more expensive in Europe then in the USA. We looked at rings in both places, and ended up buying in the USA because it was SO much less expensive.
Post # 66
@Anardana: Oh, yeah, that’s definitely more interesting, exploring when people have the wealth to afford more expensive rings but chose not to.
Oddly enough, my SO and I were discussing something similar last night in relation to men’s rings and jewellery. He was convinced that men (in Australia) only wear jewellery (other than their wedding ring) to display wealth and power. I questioned this assumption in regards to women, and my SO said that with women, dressing up and accessorising is more ingrained and expected, yet when a man chooses to wear bling they are deliberately and consciously making a statement. I can see this to a certain extent, and I guess all jewellery is making a statement of some kind. Perhaps what I objected to in my SO’s opinion was his judgement that when men display their wealth and power in this way, it’s a vulgar act. I don’t see the difference between a man doing it and a woman doing it.
In Australia, we used to be very influenced by the UK with traces of US influence, but I believe we’re now incredibly influenced by American culture with only traces of our UK heritage. Most of our film and TV is American produced which I think has a huge effect on our culture.
Post # 67
I am from Norway, and here the tradition is so different from the American one.
A couple will decide to get married, or one will propose to the other, and they will go and look at rings together. They will both wear a plain gold or white gold ring.
They might get new rings when they get married, or they’ll just wear the same ones they got when they got engaged.
This is what’s normal over here. Now, of course, people are different, and I think we are seeing a lot more diamond solitare rings over here.
I was an exchange student in the US, and I am very Americanized. I love the idea of the man getting down on one knee, asking her to marry him, and then give her a beautiful ring. Size doesn’t matter
This is also what I got. I got the ring of my dreams:) It’s a 0.70 carat center stone, and the total carat is 0.83. Here that is pretty big, and it is a little awkward to be 21 and have an engagement ring that is three times the size of my 40 year old boss.
My family probably thinks that it is a huge waste of money, but they keep it to themselves. They’ve said that it is pretty, but they haven’t shown any interest in it at all really. When I go to visit the US again, I’m worried that it will seem small. It’s like I can’t win. I don’t care at all about the size, I think it is such a beautiful ring, and I just want people to be happy for me that I got what was so right for me.
Post # 68
it’s quite funny my group of girlfriends were discussing the same thing on Saturday. We are 10 girls who have known eachother for years and we are all either engaged or just newly married. This was what we came up with.
In australia, diamond size is very cultural and suburb/area orientated.
we noted that people who have grown up in a family with less disposable income tend to vear towards bigger diamonds….those who have grown up in wealthier families tend to have smaller diamonds….
We noticed all our, Italian, Greek, Slav, lebanese and asian friends have bigger rings than our aussie/anglo friends.
The aussie/anglo girl who married a european or asian guy had a bigger ring than her aussie/anglo counterpart who married an aussie/anglo guy.
these are obviously generalisations…..but between the 10 of us we worked out most of the engaged/married girls we know, and are our age fit into these observations.
Post # 69
I believe it’s all relative to where you live, & that’s largely what contributes to having un/reasonable expectations. Something that may seem ridiculous in one country is just the norm in another. I can at least say for myself that any expectations I had for my love & I (which were actually very humble due to my upbringing) were reasonable. In America, because those things are available, it’s not necessarily a problem. But if it is, don’t do it.
Now when it comes to ANY girl from ANY nation having ANY particular desire on her ring that’s not beyond reason, I don’t argue. She’s gonna be wearing it the rest of her life. (Yes I’m aware there’s different cultures & traditions but I’m sure you get my point. :>)
Post # 70
I’m from Los Angeles, and it has a reputation for being a city with large rings. I wouldn’t say it’s uniformly true. Two women I know got engaged with sapphire and diamond eternity rings, my friend and I both have sapphire rings with diamond accents, a couple friends have substantial solitaires, one friend has a cluster ring, and another friend of mine opted for no ring at all. I’ve seen more and more people going the nontraditional route, choosing alternate stone and smaller rings than the traditional diamond solitaire.
As for culture, my mother’s from El Salvador, and engagement rings aren’t too common there unless you have money. Wearing an engaement ring is pretty much inviting someone to mug you. If it weren’t for crime, engagement rings would be much more popular there.
Post # 71
I live in Indiana. My e-ring is total 1 ct with a center stone thats about 1/3 and lots of pave in the halo/sides. I absolutely LOVE it- and have no plans to upgrade after I get my wedding ring(s??? hoping Fiance gets my hint) I would say that my diamond is a bit smaller than most of my friends- HOWEVER- most of my friends have been married for years (10+) and upgraded. Their rings are all still less than 1 ct in the center, just a guess.
I will also say that my ring is HUGE compared to most women in my FI’s family. My mom’s ring was the same size as mine.
I often look at some of the beauties on this website and wonder what the geographical averages are inside the states. I just don’t feel like I see that many that are over a ct. around my area. But, I travel in a fairly modest circle.
Post # 72
I’m from the UK and it seems as though the UK women are not really as into diamonds as the US women. I have just over half a carat ring which is of brilliant quality and my ring is bigger than most peoples I see. In London there are more women with slightly larger rings, although most are still smaller than mine. The price of diamonds and also gold just keeps increasing here and it is so expensive to get a 1 carat, let alone a 2 or 3 which seems common in the US! I have also noticed that moissanite is common in America, but is not at all common here.
If it makes a difference, my area of London is very multicultural and I have noticed that mediterranean (italian, greek, turkish) women tend to have the slightly larger diamonds (0.5 – 0.75 average) than other cultures, and I think this may be because they value engagement rings slightly more. I myself am mediterranean. Before I was engaged, I did not care what size diamond I had because all I wanted was to be engaged to marry the man I love..I still think this and I view it as luck that I happen to have a beautiful diamond engagement ring. I did not want a ring that would cost a silly amount of money because I view buying a house for the future as more important (house prices in London are shockingly high). I guess it is down to personal taste and what is truely important to the couple.
Post # 73
I’m from the US and I think this is an interesting thread. I don’t actually know how big my center stone is but I’d guess around 1.0 ct. It’s probably a about average for my friends, but maybe a bit bigger. I sometimes feel ostentatious wearing it, but I love it so I get over that.
My center stone was inherited from my great-grandmother’s engagement ring. My setting is from my fiance’s grandmother’s engagement ring. We debated just using his grandmother’s ring but in the end it was important to me to use my family stone and we found a jeweler who could combine them.
I was a bit nervous with all this because I didn’t want my fiance’s family to think that I was altering their family ring because I needed a bigger stone, which was definately not the case. Luckily they like the idea of the ring bringing the two families together and we all agree that it’s beautiful.
If we hadn’t had family rings I don’t think I would have wanted a diamond due to moral concerns. In fact there are times I feel guilty with my diamonds and feel like telling people, no they’re really old stones! They’re not blood diamonds!
Post # 74
Yea, in the Indian culture, engagement rings weren’t part of the norm. But nowadays you are seeing a lot of couples wearing them, especially if they’ve been brought up in the UK. They don’t tend to be huge or flashy. But I know my mother would want me to get a ‘decent rock’ (she has somewhat high standards lol)
Post # 75
I am American and grew up in a rural area where I never saw or even knew about engagement rings. The only engagement ring I remember seeing as a child was Princess Diana’s on TV. I thought about that ring a lot growing up.
My fiance grew up in a more wealthy area of the city and although he didn’t really notice engagement rings (what boy does?) he had it in his head that it needed to be a diamond. Since it was important to him that my engagement ring look more “traditional” (by American terms, obviously) I learned everything I could about diamonds. After educating myself I ultimately decided that there was no way I felt comfortable spending so much on a diamond when the type of stone I wore wasn’t all that important to me. I looked into white sapphires but wasn’t as drawn to them as I am to the blue sapphires, I looked into man made diamonds which are about the same price as a natural one, I briefly looked into CZ which didn’t sing to me at all, until finally I found moissanite. Moissanite makes my heart melt looking at it. I am elated with my stones.
In terms of stone size my taste wasn’t a result of my location. I did ALL of my research and browsing online and aquired a liking for larger stones because of all the countless hours I spend on pricescope.com lol! Also since moissanites are so reasonably priced I was able to get a larger ring for a price I didn’t cringe at or feel guilt over. I am a very frugal person, however I have no buyers remorse over my pretty ring.
As for the blue sapphire ring of my childhood dreams, I plan on asking for one for a milestone anniversary gift from my soon-to-be husband for my right hand.
As for my region just under or just above a carat seems most common, but we have a pretty diverse community so I see a little of everything!
Post # 76
My husband is Dutch. He had no clue about diamond engagement rings. He didn’t get down on one knee and asked me to marry him with a big diamond ring. We sorta just came to an agreement to marry (how romantic! LOL) and then later he gave me a simple diamond band. When we got married I got a bigger diamond band, which I now wear on my left hand. I wear the first one on my right hand.
None of his Dutch friends or family asked to see my engagement ring or whether he even got me one. Like some have said already, it’s not expected. His latest friend to get married to give an engagement ring to his fiance – a pearl ring.
I admit it was kinda embarassing when people here would immediately ask and look for my engagement ring when they found out I was engaged. Then I would have to explain to them that the rest of the world does not necessarily have the same engagement expectations/customs as here……oh well my husband is wonderful and that’s all that counts!