(Closed) Ring but no proposal yet and soo impatient

posted 4 years ago in Proposals
Post # 2
Member
324 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2016

I can relate as I was reaaaaaally impatient after I was pretty sure my fiance had the ring. I think it is reasonable for your fiance to want to be on your own as a couple before proposing and he might genuinely just want that before proposing. But…I also don’t know him at all! You know him best–do you think he is making excuses? How long has it been since he bought the ring?

Post # 3
Member
376 posts
Helper bee

ashley723:  I’m in a similar boat. My SO has my ring (we don’t live together though) and I’m just like okaaaaay lets gooooo. And now we’re leaving for Savannah for vacation tomorrow (along with my mother) and I’m like hoping he’ll ask up there buuuut I’m feeling like the thought hasn’t even crossed his mind. Boo :/

Post # 6
Member
12513 posts
Honey Beekeeper

JULY? I can’t understand the whole concept of  picking out a ring together and not being engaged. Or wrap my mind around the idea that buying a house together is somehow less of a commitment than an engagement. I would not have any patience or tolerance for this whole act, personally. 

Post # 7
Member
324 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2016

ashley723:  I would agree that July is a little ridiculous!! Maybe talk to him to see where he is at? It’s really not fair to string you along for 6 months +!

Post # 8
Member
107 posts
Blushing bee

It does seem like he was sending mixed signals. Buying the ring and then finding reasons not to propose. I think it would help to have an honest dialog. It can be hard bringing things up because you don’t want to seem pushy but I don’t think it would hurt to ask a status update.

i had to do the same with my SO recently because I wanted to know what was going on. If he was moving forward or stagnant.

Knowing where he is can ease your mind & give him a little space to do his thing. Don’t be afraid to ask him anything. You guys could potentially be husband and wife. I would hope you could talk about anything. 

Post # 9
Member
32 posts
Newbee

I will give you a different perspective. I am going to propose in a couple of months. My girlfriend and I have been together for five years. I think his “excuses” are valid. It took me a long time to adjust to the thought of marriage. It is a HUGE decision, and it is terrifying to be the one proposing. I want everything to be perfect, which is what your boyfriend might be feeling. I think it is normal for him to want to wait until you have your own place. I personally wouldn’t propose while living with my parents because I wouldn’t feel totally independent.

How long have you been together and how old are you, if you don’t mind if I ask? I think you should really slow your roll and consider how he might be feeling. The ring is just one aspect and, honestly, the part of becoming engaged that is not very important. It is the decision to make those vows and be with someone for the rest of your life. Let him take his time to really plan and reflect. You know he has the ring and that it is coming. 

Post # 10
Member
8832 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper

weddingmaven:  

Absolutely . If there is one thing I simply cannot understand it’s men buying engagement rings and not proposing/ giving them to the woman who knows he has said ring .  

I can think of no other  reasons except sudden cold feet, or a unpleasant  desire for  control

Post # 11
Member
1595 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2017

ashley723:  I (kinda) feel your pain. I too have seen the ring I am getting, but it’s becoming very hard to be patient! We have already discussed what we want in our wedding, picked a date, have been living together for awhile, and have combined finances already. I know he has the ring and the stone, but still no proposal. I know he loves me and wants to marry me, but I don’t get what the hold up is. The reason I say I (kinda) feel your pain is because it’s only been 3 months since I know he bought the ring (2 since he bought the stone). I couldn’t imagine waiting another 6 months. I’m getting so impatient. I hope your day is in the near future!

  • This reply was modified 3 years, 10 months ago by Profile Photo futuremrss17.

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