Post # 1
My boyfriend and I went and looked at rings to just look but he ended up buying it that day because it was on sale but he still has not yet proposed. At first he said it was because he wasn’t ready yet but bought it because it was on sale and then came his next excuse after he was “ready”. We moved in to my parents house to save money to buy a house of our own this coming Fall so his new excuse is that he does not feel comfortable proposing until we are on our own.
Do you think he is getting cold feet about proposing or do you think this is a genuine concern for a guy?
I am just curious as to others input on this situation.
Oh yeah, and since I know where the ring is, it is so difficult not to be impatient about it lol.
Post # 2
I can relate as I was reaaaaaally impatient after I was pretty sure my fiance had the ring. I think it is reasonable for your fiance to want to be on your own as a couple before proposing and he might genuinely just want that before proposing. But…I also don’t know him at all! You know him best–do you think he is making excuses? How long has it been since he bought the ring?
Post # 3
ashley723: I’m in a similar boat. My SO has my ring (we don’t live together though) and I’m just like okaaaaay lets gooooo. And now we’re leaving for Savannah for vacation tomorrow (along with my mother) and I’m like hoping he’ll ask up there buuuut I’m feeling like the thought hasn’t even crossed his mind. Boo :/
Post # 4
We bought it July 27th, so I have been waiting ever so patiently.. for a little while now lol.
To me, it just seems like a silly reason to not propose when he told me that he was ready and would even ask soon (This was a month ago). But now the fact that we recently decided to stay at my parents longer to buy a house rather than move out of my parents now and rent for awhile, he has changed his mind. I don’t see that as a reason not to propose but maybe that is just me being eager and having my hopes already up!
Fall seems like sooo long from now and I think it will be hard for me to not pester him about it
Post # 5
ashley723: oops sorry that was meant for @futuremrsmencher !
but that sounds like the perfect time for a proposal! Hopefully he is just trying to keep it as a surprise! I’ll keep my fingers crossed for you 🙂
Post # 6
JULY? I can’t understand the whole concept of picking out a ring together and not being engaged. Or wrap my mind around the idea that buying a house together is somehow less of a commitment than an engagement. I would not have any patience or tolerance for this whole act, personally.
Post # 7
ashley723: I would agree that July is a little ridiculous!! Maybe talk to him to see where he is at? It’s really not fair to string you along for 6 months +!
Post # 8
It does seem like he was sending mixed signals. Buying the ring and then finding reasons not to propose. I think it would help to have an honest dialog. It can be hard bringing things up because you don’t want to seem pushy but I don’t think it would hurt to ask a status update.
i had to do the same with my SO recently because I wanted to know what was going on. If he was moving forward or stagnant.
Knowing where he is can ease your mind & give him a little space to do his thing. Don’t be afraid to ask him anything. You guys could potentially be husband and wife. I would hope you could talk about anything.
Post # 9
I will give you a different perspective. I am going to propose in a couple of months. My girlfriend and I have been together for five years. I think his “excuses” are valid. It took me a long time to adjust to the thought of marriage. It is a HUGE decision, and it is terrifying to be the one proposing. I want everything to be perfect, which is what your boyfriend might be feeling. I think it is normal for him to want to wait until you have your own place. I personally wouldn’t propose while living with my parents because I wouldn’t feel totally independent.
How long have you been together and how old are you, if you don’t mind if I ask? I think you should really slow your roll and consider how he might be feeling. The ring is just one aspect and, honestly, the part of becoming engaged that is not very important. It is the decision to make those vows and be with someone for the rest of your life. Let him take his time to really plan and reflect. You know he has the ring and that it is coming.
Post # 10
Absolutely . If there is one thing I simply cannot understand it’s men buying engagement rings and not proposing/ giving them to the woman who knows he has said ring .
I can think of no other reasons except sudden cold feet, or a unpleasant desire for control
Post # 11
ashley723: I (kinda) feel your pain. I too have seen the ring I am getting, but it’s becoming very hard to be patient! We have already discussed what we want in our wedding, picked a date, have been living together for awhile, and have combined finances already. I know he has the ring and the stone, but still no proposal. I know he loves me and wants to marry me, but I don’t get what the hold up is. The reason I say I (kinda) feel your pain is because it’s only been 3 months since I know he bought the ring (2 since he bought the stone). I couldn’t imagine waiting another 6 months. I’m getting so impatient. I hope your day is in the near future!
Post # 12
Hi everyone! Thanks for the replies.
We had a talk about our situation and he got into how he feels a little emasculated about living with my parents and feels like he needs to be in a different place before announcing to everyone and officially asking me to marry him. Well that’s how I took it at least.
We ended up coming to the conclusion that we are going to just rent a cheap apartment asap and try to save up and buy a house next spring rather than this fall so we can be on our own again soon.
I hopefully will be posting in a few weeks saying he finally popped the question!