Ring came in….may have postponed proposal.

posted 2 months ago in Waiting
Post # 2
Member
5917 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: July 2018

If anything I would think this was more of a reason to just make the best of it and get engaged now…

You don’t need to start venue hunting but a commitment of your love and future together seems particularly meaningful now and more important than the location but maybe that is just me. 

Post # 3
Member
83 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: April 2020

I am newer to the boards but there is so much pressure on men to do this proposal thing right that I get both sides. That he wants it to be perfect and special but I also get that whats going on in the world means that your future together and that commitment is so much sweeter. I feel like men are damned if they do and damned if they don’t right now just like brides feel about going forward with private ceremonies and doing receptions later or postponing the whole thing.  You know he wants to spend the rest of his life with you, you know the ring is near maybe he’ll work out something else to make the moment special outside of his original plan. 

Post # 4
Member
423 posts
Helper bee

I’m in the same boat.  While I’d love to be engaged now, the virus has effected a lot of aspects of our life and I’m ok waiting.  There are bigger things going on right now.  Just my two cents 🤷‍♀️

Post # 5
Member
3313 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: November 2017

View original reply
lisjustwaits :  he’s been putting you off since last year.  He finally compromised and agreed to March now he’s moving the goal posts again.  I call bullshit. 

Post # 6
Member
225 posts
Helper bee

View original reply
lisjustwaits :  I bet you guys could still discuss wedding things, even if you can’t make final decisions? Like you could start talking about who you’d like to invite (maybe a DEFINITELY list and an IF WE HAVE ROOM list, for example), discuss budget, what aspects are really important for each of you, and do some research on various venues and such? You could start getting an idea of places you want to visit later on, what general price to expect for a DJ, etc during this time all from the comfort of your couch. Sounds like he/y’all has already bought the ring too, so y’all could discuss wedding ring styles for him, start planning a budget for saving for the wedding, etc.

I would definitely be bummed to have a proposal postponed, but sounds like he at least does have a specific idea in mind? That’s really tough. 

Post # 7
Member
1490 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2019

I also call bullshit. He could easily go to the grocery store, get flowers, cook a romantic meal and propose at home. Things that are meaningful are things that take effort and thought. Making it special at home would take extra effort and thought. Tell him you still want the proposal as you agreed to. And that your confident that he can find a way to make it meaningful and special and romantic. 

Post # 8
Member
246 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2020

That’s a beautiful ring. I honestly see no reason to wait on the proposal. If anything I think proposing at home would be nice during this time.

Post # 9
Member
3124 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: June 2017

Your ring is beautiful bee 🙂

I would have an honest conversation with him about how the current situation makes you want to get engaged sooner rather than later, and you don’t care where it happens. You don’t need to start putting deposits down until things return to normality.

Post # 10
Member
5785 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: January 2017

Total BS. I’d be so pissed off if I were you.

Post # 11
Member
1140 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2020

Gorgeous ring!

So if he agrees to marry you, and you agree to marry him, you’re engaged. The ring and a proposal is just a formality. If you want the ring now and want to make it “official,” tell him that the timing matters more to you than the place. Is your partner going to wait until this is all over?? IF we succeed in flattening the curve, the cases could peak in July/August. We could get a second wave if people let their guard down.

I agree you shouldn’t be putting any deposits down, but you can still work on your guest list, research venues online, and figure out decor.

The thought of putting an engagement on hold indefinitely because of a pandemic is astonishing to me. If anything, getting married is more urgent than ever so you secure the right to make medical decisions for each other, see each other in the hospital, and be protected if something happens to one of you.

Don’t be so passive about your own life.

Post # 12
Member
1589 posts
Bumble bee

Agree with pp – the pandemic should make two people who are committed all the more eager and hasty to solidify that commitment. In times of profound uncertainty and hardship like we’re living through now, shouldn’t you want to hold your loved ones closer – not find excuses to create distance?

He could hand you the ring tonight in your kitchen and say something like “I wanted to plan an elaborate proposal, but with the world quite literally falling to shit all around us, I don’t want to wait another second to do this. You are my person and I want you by my side through whatever is coming at us. Will you marry me?” That would be romantic as hell, no?

I would not be okay with this manufactured delay. It would have me questioning whether he even wants to marry you deep down, or is just stalling. Time for a come to Jesus chat.

Post # 13
Member
1619 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: Malibou Lake Mountain Club

View original reply
lisjustwaits :  beautiful ring. but honestly, if he wants you to be his wife, he should propose. And right now with the u certainty of covid, is he really waiting? Id move fast and propose so we could feel together and hopeful for our potential upcoming wedding

Post # 14
Member
13048 posts
Honey Beekeeper

This is absurd to me. You’ve already seen the ring and had it on your finger and you’re supposed to give it back for some pinterest perfect proposal? Tell him you want to be engaged and wear your ring. Making a commitment in this time of uncertainty would be a lot more important to me than any venue or setting. 

Post # 15
Member
464 posts
Helper bee

From experience, I honestly agree with him. I would wait until this entire coronavirus situation gets sorted out before proposing. 
I got engaged 2 weeks ago and feel like this entire situation is not the environment to be celebrating, expect people to care less about it than if it happened any other time. It was a huge step but our loved ones and ourselves are a lot more concerned about the pandemic than about celebrating it

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