(Closed) Ring confrontation

posted 5 years ago in Emotional
Post # 46
Member
1003 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 2018

i’m 1000000% sure your Fiance didn’t want to propose with a ring he’d offered to another girl. He probbaly also assumed (as did his parents) that you wouldn’t want to wear a ring he’d given to another girl.

god knows you’re a better woman than I if you wanted a hand-me-down ring from his ex-fiance… but if it’s what you wanted and you never mentioned it, it’s not hard to see why he wouldn’t have given it to you.

Maybe ask if you could wear it as your something old?

Post # 47
Member
4943 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

I get it – by his parents not offering it, you feel as though maybe they don’t think you are worthy. But perhaps your fiance/his family just didn’t think you’d want to wear a ring he used to propose to someone else..?

Personally, it wouldn’t bother me one bit if he proposed to me with the ring he proposed to another girl with, because it’s a family ring, not a ring he bought specifically for the ex-fiance. I don’t see it as a hand me down ring because of that – it is a ring that’s been in the family, not a ring he specifically purchased for ex-fiance and then gave to you.

Maybe the family will offer it to you at a later time and you can wear it as a RHR. Or, as a PP said, see if you can wear it as your something old. That will show his family that you love the sentiment of the ring.

Post # 48
Member
2968 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

View original reply
peppermintbowl:  damned if he does, damned if he doesn’t.

I don’t think that anyone would think its appropriate for him to propose to you with a ring that was meant for someone else, so you getting upset with him or his family because they were trying to do the right thing by you is petty.

Maybe they will give it it to you anyway, but not as your engagement ring.

Post # 49
Member
964 posts
Busy bee

It’s actually none of your business why his parents didn’t offer the ring. Because it’s theirs to do with as they please. You could’ve left well enough alone and decided, in your own mind, that they must have a perfectly legitimate reason why they didn’t offer it. The fact that you’re making a stink about it, to the point that your Fiance went to ask his mom, shows that they were indeed right not to offer you that ring. Your attitude is really only cementing their decision in their minds.

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