(Closed) Ring Confusion.

posted 7 years ago in Rings
Post # 17
Member
415 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

If you love it it will probably grow on him.  I chose an antique setting that my husband would have rather not had, in exchange for a larger diamond.  A few weeks after our engagement, he said, out of the blue, that he now saw how special our ring was in comparison to his friends’ wives with larger, solitaire-set diamonds.  It took him a while, as a guy, to see the style points.  I know your ring will have the same size diamond either way, but sometimes with guys they need to get used to more flamboyant choices for a little bit.  

Also, you will be the one wearing it forever, so in this case your opinion DOES matter more than his.

Post # 19
Member
6354 posts
Bee Keeper

I prefer the old setting, more elegant.

Post # 21
Member
1979 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: November 2014

@girltuesday:  I love your new setting!! I think that as long as you love it that is what is most important! He picked the first one and you picked the second one- seems like a fair trade to me. Plus if you both have really different styles,there may not be a setting that exists that you both love.  I would talk to him and be honest about- let him know that you really love the new setting and his criticism hurt your feelings and now you feel torn about it.  Maybe talking about it will bring about a resolution you are both pleased with.

Post # 22
Member
1529 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: February 2012

@girltuesday:  I understand. If you return with him, would it make a difference? Since you are worried about the store’s return policy, it might be helpful to have him along. 

It’s just too bad that he doesn’t like it, I really do think it’s gorgeous. Sleeping on your decision to keep it or return it is a wise choice. 

Post # 23
Member
4943 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

I like both settings. 🙂 I’d suggest you both go together and look.

Maybe he thought you were going to get a setting that was similar/identical to the one he picked for you, so that’s where his disappointment came in.
 

Post # 24
Member
628 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

@girltuesday: It is likely that he chose the solitaire/plain band as a classic look and your choice in the new setting has changed that entirely. I too suggest taking him with you if you want both of you to like it. 

Post # 25
Member
415 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

@girltuesday:  Haha, I can confirm that it is nothing to do with being a Libra and everything to do with being a bride-to-be!  It’s like the one time that, no matter what you try to tell yourself, you want everything to FEEL perfect to you (i.e. no disappointment/settling).  At the same time it’s about sharing your life whith someone else, and it feels like everything choice should both feel perfect to you and be thrilling for him, since it’s all about sharing.  I’m not sure from my experience that such a thing exists.

Have you tried to softly delve into what he doesn’t like about the setting you chose?  Maybe your man is more enlightened than mine, but I found througout the process that often when my FH was upset it was because he felt personally rejected / hurt,  or left out, not because he really cared about a specific decision. 

Post # 26
Member
51 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: July 2003

@girltuesday:  I think it might be a libra thing. I am the same way! For nearly ten years I have been falling in and out of love with my ring…I suspect now that this indecision is permanent. 

What works best for me is to set some perimeters with a limited set of choices. Having your husband feel equally happy with the choice may help establish those limits for you. I can see the dilemma: both settings are beautiful!

Post # 29
Member
51 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: July 2003

@girltuesday:  I am glad you got through that awkward conversation and came to an understanding. Can’t wait to see what you choose together – I am SURE you can’t go wrong with that beautiful stone, libra curse or no! 

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