(Closed) Ring Dilema

posted 8 years ago in Waiting
Post # 3
Member
1278 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 2013

oh that is so difficult! It sounds to me like it may be a little too late to say anything – given that he has alluded to a big tax return and selling some things for cash means he is preparing to buy it – if he hasnt already!

I think your best bet might be to be honest… just asking him if he has bought the ring yet, and if he has, let it go, and if he hasnt, ask if it is too late to make a suggestion.

Good luck

Post # 4
Member
11325 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: February 2011

Does he have a friend that could give you intel? 

Post # 5
Member
4355 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

That’s such a tough situation! I so wish I had valid advice… I think I would do as Corgi suggested and try and ask a friend of his?

Post # 6
Member
767 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2011

I would just show him the ring picture and say that you found another ring style you also love. And reiterate that you would be happy with any ring and it’s not the important part. You’re still going to have to be happy with the old choice, because that’s what he’s seen. If it were me, I’d try to find a really casual way to show him your new favorite. 

Post # 8
Member
1317 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

The following advice is truly silly, but it doesn’t require any talk:

Take a picture or colored print-out of the ring and draw a big red heart around it! Then conveniently leave it somewhere next to a notebook or your picture file. I laughed when I wrote that out! It’s super cheesy, not so aubtle, but guys might not think it’s as blatant as contacting his friend about it. *shrug*

Post # 9
Member
1317 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

Or conveniently leave a window up of a post that says, “If I could pick my ring, it would be … ” (Insert picture and name and direct link online)!

Again, this is absolutely cheezy advice, and if anything it could lighten things up and he’ll get a laugh out of it! Laughing

Post # 10
Member
37 posts
Newbee

I like both of Vitsippa’s ideas. I think talking about it can get a little awkward so leaving a cute little note is the perfect way to tell him. I am in the same boat as you, talked about getting engaged but not there yet and felt I needed to tell my bf a few things that I wanted from a proposal. I typed him a note *from my dog* that layed out a bunch of timing, ring, etc rules/requests regarding the proposal. It worked well and I think he was happy to have some direction.

Good luck and remember you can always return the ring after the proposal if you dont like it. Although I know we all want to avoid that situation!

 

 

Post # 11
Member
6248 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: August 1900

Those are good ideas actually, especially if you can’t enlist a friend to help

Post # 12
Member
935 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 2015

Of course I agree with Patco you can always return it.  It just depends on what would be worse for you, having an ackward conversation, or having to return the ring?

Out of curiosity, what is the ring you like vs the new one? Have you tried them both on?

Post # 14
Member
935 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 2015

@MrsT2b: Oh!  I suggest going to  a store and trying on the different proportions of 3-stone rings, if you haven’t already done so.  You want to get a feel for how the difference actually looks on *your* finger (rather than a picture), and how it feels.  It sounds like a fairly subtle difference between your original and new choice, but some gals are mighty picky about rings.  For example, I rarely wear jewelry and I find that I’m much more comfortable wearing rings that have a thin band between the fingers.  Although I appreciate some of the detailing of heirloom rings, if it feels like there’s a half a pound of metal between my fingers it really weirds me out.  I want something comfortable.

In my very humble opinion I do think it’s valuable to try those shiny suckers on if you haven’t already.  After all, the promise is that you would wear it for the rest of your life.  So make sure you like it! 

LOL! I can’t help but see the irony, here I am giving advice and I’ve actually changed my ring preferences in the last 24 hours..I am not kidding! the reason:  my darling Boyfriend or Best Friend gave me an absolutely beautiful piece of jewelry (a necklace) that was so touching in it’s simplicity and SO CLASSY and so “ME”.  I didn’t pick it out, By The Way.

I was the girl who really didn’t care about the ring. But initial conversations made it sound like he’d be a “go big” guy when it comes to rings, partially becuase of the man-pride issue and partially because he and his friends make a lot more money than me and are more apt to spend what I  would consider unnncessary prices on a ring. I won’t bore you with the whole story but that’s the snapshot.  Today I was looking at my necklace and I just saw that he had impeccable taste. And realized that it may have been un-necessary to pick out that Tacori that I was drooling over….and maybe I should hide that model # that I put in a very obvious place, and him pick something on his own.  Becuase he knows my taste better than I thought.  And now I want something that matches the necklace 🙂 

Didn’t mean to ramble on forever, just wanted you to know you’re not alone in changing your mind.

And my hunch is that you will want to confirm your suspicion that the second one would look more beautiful.  I’ve read about many Bees  on this board who have changed their minds once they actually went ring shopping. I’m assuming you haven’t tried it on because you said it “would” look beautiful, rather than “it does look beautiful”. 

Keep us posted!

Post # 15
Member
149 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: June 2011

Hi, I know its been a week since this post has been active but I really wanted to write something on it and had lost my password so now that I am back in action here is my piece…

I went through the same thing as you and had picked out my favorite ring very early on in the game.  I knew it was the one and often went in to try it on at the local store.  One day when I went into the store, there was another ring there that was absolutely stunning and I fell in love with it immediately.  When my now fiance and I went to the store to “try on” rings, I brought out my the old ring and the new ring to try on so that he would have two choices.  He ended up picking the design of my first ring and redesigning it with a ring designer, putting in better diamonds and just making it perfect.  With that said, I look back now and am glad that he went with my first choice.  I believe that if I would have recieved the second ring that although I would have loved what it symbolized, I really would have been dissapointed.  What I am trying to say here is…go with your first instincts they are usually the right ones.  It’s like dresses when you start to try them on, you find your dress but some people keep looking and get confused!  

Post # 16
Member
26 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: June 2011

I’m all for open and honest communication. Be calm and mention that you know he might not be ready to purchase a ring but you’ve been looking at them and you changed your mind about what style you like. If this is the man you’re going to marry I don’t see the need to hatch some elaborate scheme. 

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