Post # 1
I am expecting to get engaged very soon & I know my boyfriend has asked his mother if there is any family jewels he could have for my ring. I’m fine with receiving a family piece which we’ve already discussed, I could re-set in platinum or however so it’d be more mine.
However, now I’m sort of regretting this because his mother said he could offer me her 40th anniversary 3 diamond ring! It’s a beautiful ring don’t get me wrong, but she is still living & I’d hate to accept a ring that she might still wear, BUT her husband passed away 2 years ago. Also, she never even wears any jewelry, and in the 4 years I’ve known her, I’ve NEVER seen her wear this ring even once. I still feel sorta weird/guilty about this whole thing.
I’m interested to hear if people think this is a total faux pas & would never accept a ring from soon to-be mother-in-law or if I should be grateful she’s offering.
Post # 3
I think that if she offered it, it isn’t a faux pas to use it. 🙂 If all you’re concerned about is whether she’ll regret her choice, I don’t think you have to worry – the very fact that she offered means she must prefer you (as a DIL) over the ring! 🙂
If you’re worried about wearing a ring that your Fiance didn’t get to pick out for you, maybe he could take the stones from the ring and have them re-set for you in a custom setting? It would still save a lot of money but would make the ring uniquely yours!
Post # 4
Since she offered you the ring, she clearly knows what she wants. It would be hurtful to her if you refused it. But if you aren’t comfortable wearing it as your wedding ring, you can wear it on a necklace or a different finger.
Post # 5
Thank you both for your opinions! I think yall are right, I’m fretting over nothing. I’m so excited to even be thinking about getting married (finally!) after 5 years of dating! The ring is absolutely lovely, and the fact of the matter is she IS offering, and wants the ring to still be part of the family.
Thanks for the input & advice!
Post # 6
My original e-ring was my husband’s great aunt’s, that his mother wore often. I loved it and it was either that ring (which was only .5 carats or less) or her one carat diamond that was nice, but I didn’t like that she was separated from her husband and didn’t have a good marriage (hubby’s dad died before they could officially divorce). So, I got the ring that I loved, and my mother-in-law didn’t mind at all! Here’s a pic below (I wear 3 rings but it’s the Edwardian square one, and I had two plain bands soldered on).
Post # 7
as long as she’s offering it to you, then she’d probably be hurt if you refused to wear it! and be lucky that you have such a wonderful and thoughtful Future Mother-In-Law who thinks highly of you. i know that if she didn’t think much of you, she wouldn’t offer you the ring!