(Closed) Ring disappointment… Vent

posted 6 years ago in Rings
Post # 3
Member
745 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: December 2012

You shouldn’t be marrying just to have a big diamond. Don’t marry him unless you’d say yes even without a ring. And anyone who is going to say anything negative about your ring is a crappy friend anyway. You have what the two of you can afford right now, yes? And you’re marrying the man you love, yes? That should be what you want so bad. A bigger ring will come in time.

Post # 4
Member
1810 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

I know its kind of hard to look over the fact that your diamond isn’t as big as you’d expect it to be. But perhaps if you concentrate on the true meaning of the ring, what it stands for. It stands for you fi’s love for you and his commitment to be with you for the res of your lives. To never treat you disrepectfully, to love you through everything, and to be there for you. I think if you keep on reminding yourself of that, perhaps the disappointment of a small diamond will shrink.

Post # 5
Member
4193 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: July 2012 - Baltimore Museum of Industry

@HeathenSwan:  Don’t marry him unless you’d say yes even without a ring. Exactly.

Get an upgrade in five or ten years.

Post # 6
Member
176 posts
Blushing bee

@Princess bee:  don´t worry!! everything´s going to be fine!! i´m very sorry about the diamond ring that was lost but remember size shouldn´t really be the most important factor!! remember the happiest part about being engaged is the fact that you are engaged!! you´ll get to marry the man of your dreams!! your best friend!! i´m sure you both loved the ring when you bought it….together as a couple!!! if you want to upgrade thats fine….if not, then thats fine too!! don´t worry about what other people might say…..i believe that if your parents have got a lot of money then more power to you….people won´t criticise!! on the contrary!! they´ll think you´re above all that, (size of stone..etc) because you´ve always had what you wanted!

I´M SURE ITS A BEAUTIFUL RING!! got any pics?

 

Post # 8
Member
6256 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: March 2014

Why don’t you get a moissanite or asha? Not many can tell the difference at the 1ct. size.

 

Also, if you’re under 25, this shouldn’t even be an issue, as NO ONE is going to expect college-age (or high school age!) women to have a large ring. It’s understood that that sort of thing comes with time.

Post # 9
Member
768 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

I understand how you feel, I live in Los Angeles and a lot of emphasis is put on this sort of stuff. It’s hard not to feel insecure!! Like other bees said, it’s not about the ring, it’s about your future with your fiance! 

 

I agree with @AmuseMeMusically about maybe considering a moissanite or asha if it bugs you that much. 

Post # 10
Member
2118 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

@Princess bee:  Who cares what other people think? You should feel proud of the ring you have and own it.

Post # 11
Member
2981 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2011

I just kinda roll my eyes every time a “I know we’re young” bride to be comes on here and complains that her diamond isn’t big enough. Sometimes we just need to vent tho. No shame in that game, just rememeber to keep in perspective what’s REALLY important. Like the PPs have said, if you can’t say ‘yes’ w/o a ring, then time to move along. By the way, a 1/3 carat isn’t exactly a speck. Lots of bees on here have gorgeous rings that are that exact size.

Post # 12
Member
1269 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

I don’t think anyone I know has a ring bigger than that. I’d prefer a smaller ring for something like an engagement ring which I would want to wear 24/7 since it’s less likely to catch on things and I’m kind of clutzy, it’s also understated and elegant so it doesn’t matter what you’re wearing. Save the big rings for later or dressing up.

I’m 26 and planning on a 40pt gem stone, that’s right, not even a diamond. I know we girls in our 20’s are more prone to insecurities like this, extra worried about what people think and still coming in to our own on some fronts. I had my doubts and insecure posts while I was figuring out what I’ll want. Take away what you think other people will think/say about your ring and ask yourself:

Do you love your ring. More importantly, do you love your fiance?

If you said yes then everything is hunky dory and you’re a lucky girl.

Post # 13
Member
4663 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: December 2011

its totally ok to vent.

i think maybe moissanite might be a really good option for you? also check out vintage auctions on ebay. i’m hooked! so many good deals on there.

Post # 14
Member
1026 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2014

okay… not to be harsh but your 17. You asked in another thread if people think you are rushing into an engagement, which is probably a sign that you are not ready. I feel like you may not have realistic expectations. Most people feel lucky to have a 1/3ct ring, that is about average nationwide. If you have a ring like that at 17 you are extremely lucky. 

What is your fiances job? Are you working? Because this is a lot of money, were you expecting to be able to afford expensive jewellery in highschool? Are you dependent on your parents? It seems like you are not that independent and really looking for approval from them and other people. 

What stood out for me is that you would rather have a ring from your father than the ring your fiance bought you because of the size difference. For me this is a huge red flag about messed up priorities to be honest. 

Three week ago you also said that you wanted to wait to get engaged :

So I’m going to talk with him and tell him I want to wait to get engaged until I’m out of high school and Once we’re able to live together and support eachother…

I know I am being harsh in this post, but I also feel like you should know how this looks from an outside point of view. I think you really need to take some time to think if you really want to do this and if you are doing it for the right reasons. 

Post # 15
Member
4478 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: November 2012

@teabiscuit:  +1

 

Sorry, but I have to agree with Teabiscuit.  It’s normal to have insecurities once in a while.  But the whole tone of your post sounds like you’re freaking out.  I understand that venting needs to be done sometimes, and it sounds like you know that these insecurities are silly.  

Post # 16
Member
2981 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2011

@teabiscuit:  You’re not harsh, you’re a realist. Not everyone that has the guts to have an unpopular differing opinion, or doesn’t pussyfoot around stuff is “harsh”. 🙂 I didn’t realise the OP was only 17. I’m thinking about the “what makes you an adult” post that keeps popping up on here.

So I’m going to talk with him and tell him I want to wait to get engaged until I’m out of high school and Once we’re able to live together and support eachother…

OP, it sounds like you had your head on your shoulders when you wrote this previous post. You can’t even buy cigarettes yet for criminey’s sake! Is it common in your area for couples to get engaged so young? It’s one thing to have a high maturity level, and another thing if it’s cultural, but your youth coupled with your silly ring insecurities makes you sort of hard to take seriously.

The topic ‘Ring disappointment… Vent’ is closed to new replies.

Find Amazing Vendors