(Closed) ring disrespect?

posted 4 years ago in Rings
  • poll: Would you feel a need to 'explain' that your stone was not a 'real diamond'?

    Yes

    No

    Yes, and I have a problem with women who lie about their stone being a 'real diamond'

    No, and I think IF women wish lie about having a 'diamond' it's fine.

    Women are obligated to provide a detailed print out with stats about their stone for anyone asking.

    Women should not be allowed to 'pass off' any white stone as a diamond EVER NO MATTER WHAT!!

  • Post # 46
    Member
    1076 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: October 2014

    I’m sorry 😂

    Post # 47
    Member
    28 posts
    Newbee
    • Wedding: October 2016

    Im absolutely dying. Now, everytime this “debate” comes up, I’ll think of spanx. Thank you bees.

    Post # 48
    Member
    510 posts
    Busy bee

    My ring is a citrine and I get that reaction. I think people think, it’s a citrine so it’s cheap but I feel myself always having to justify that natural citrine is actually quite rare and the 95% of the citrine in the market is fake (heat treated amethyst or smoky Quartz). However I am going to stop justifying it because people who judge can F off. 

    Post # 49
    Member
    171 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: October 2016 - pier 5 hotel

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    forgotusername :  This!

    Post # 51
    Member
    28 posts
    Newbee
    • Wedding: October 2016

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    MxChinca :  Some sapphires are more rare (and expensive) than diamonds. So. Those cover up types can F off. They’ve been brainwashed by gemstone culture nonesense, and think everyone wants a diamond. That everyone wants to be like them, and “pass off” a stone as a diamond. They either haven’t done research or have vastly different tastes. 

    If you want to give specs, go for it. It might help raise awareness that not all stones are diamonds or wannabee diamonds. If you dont? Great. Its nobodys business but your own. Some people might enjoy pointing out other peoples stupidity and ignorance, but that just isn’t my idea of a good time. 

    The fact that a few people actually answered this vote to say strangers deserve printed specs, is absolutely mind blowing to me. 

    Post # 52
    Member
    2398 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: October 2016

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    MxChinca :  It’s just elitist garbage. Look, I am not going to assume every red stone is a ruby, or green is an emerald or that  a garnet is trying to be a ruby or any of those things. Why do people assume a colorless stone is trying to look like a diamond? No a colorless stone is trying only to look like what it is a clear/white stone period. If you think it’s pretty and you like it then great end of story. If you want to know what kind of stone it is because you admire it regardless of the color then great. If you are trying to suss out someone/something’s worth based on that question then you are an asshole. It’s one thing to ask because you love it, it’s another thing to ask so you can be judgy. 

    Post # 53
    Member
    171 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: October 2016 - pier 5 hotel

    So just to be clear I had wanted a blue saphire as my center stone. My fi surprised me with my lovely ering that is a diamond with two saphires next to it.  totally unexpected, but I love it because he picked it out. I am not an elitist. I’m all for different and alternative erings.  I am just also all for ppl being proud of their rings and not lying about it.  Like I said previously, if someone just says I lvoe your ring! saying thank you is fine.  But if someone misidentifies it, I see no reason why you wouldnt correct them out of pride and love for your ring. it takes two seconds and isnt awkard unless you let it be.  More ppl would stop seeing diamonds as the end all be all of erings if more ppl were proud and nonchalant about what their rock is.

    I love the bee because everyone can be vocal about their love of their rings and eachothers, I just wish ppl would do the same in the real world.

    Post # 54
    Member
    1724 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: May 2016

    My rings are aquamarines, and so I only mention it when people comment on the pale blue.  It can look almost clear in some light, and so they look, expecting a diamond, and then I can tell they are confused.  

    Post # 55
    Member
    2398 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: October 2016

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    tinker44 :  I totally agree. I was directing that at a certain bee that insinuated to have a non diamond clear stone means you are lying about having a diamond. I have a diamond stone now. But I have had other stones and gleefully would tell people thank you but actually it’s a _____. Because I do think if more people knew how many beautiful clear (and other) stones were out there people would be less obsessed with diamonds as the “only option” for a ring. 

    Post # 56
    Member
    7501 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper
    • Wedding: October 2014

    I wanna know where all these women are, who scream and make a huge fuss over someone else’s ring. Especially a stranger. There’s so many threads on here about ring judgment, ring shame, ring drama etc etc but I have never once in my life ever see a scene like that actually go down. Who does that kind of thing?

    Post # 57
    Member
    2016 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: October 2016

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    sparklesalways :  I was there as a trainer in a profesional capacity and her comment was in passing. I was saying thank you as she said my ring was pretty. I’m fairly sure it would have been unprofessional to correct her/dive into the conversation any further than saying thank you and moving on.

    Post # 58
    Member
    36 posts
    Newbee

    I have diamonds and not-diamonds. I don’t explain either because I’d get nothing else done. 🙂

    Seriously though, if someone asks me specific questions about my not-diamond I happily tell them it’s a not-diamond. If they simply ask to see my ring and make whatever unstated assumption I let them see it. You can explain too much and come off as apologetic imo. I don’t find it necessary to apologize for my personal taste in jewelry. I wouldn’t let someone make a fool of themselves laboring under a false assumption so if I see it going in that direction I go ahead and have ‘the talk’. Just not with everyone, every time. It’s not necessary.

    Post # 59
    Member
    36 posts
    Newbee

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    Horseradish :  Me. I love jewelry and occasionally I’ll see something I find outstanding and if the opportunity arises, say “Wow is that gorgeous, may I see?” Then I look for a couple seconds, compliment her taste and move on. I’ve never had anyone be angry or act as if they feel invaded. On the contrary all of them smile, look flattered and say thank you. 

    Post # 60
    Member
    57 posts
    Worker bee

    I really don’t care what the stone is on some random woman’s finger. I only want mine to be a diamond because *I* want a diamond because I like the poetry of it and that it has the hardest composition. I still think that blue sapphires are gorg, and that other clear stones can be beautiful with the right cut, and it doesn’t make me feel any different to mistake a CZ for a moissy or a diamond. I don’t think any less of women who choose other stones (and same goes for size). If a ring is pretty, it’s pretty, end of story.

    I’ve been judged because my stone is less than one carat, but I don’t care because I wouldn’t want it any other way. I love my ring and out of sheer excitement I give out Too Much Information and the “it’s not a big diamond” or the “it’s not Tiffany’s or Cartier” looks don’t matter AT ALL to me.

    However, from all this debate, I get the feeling that many women see other stones as inferior?  I personally would like to be corrected if I’m mistaking z for y,  because I genuinely appreciate all gems and would like to know. I understand how it can be nosy, but it’s not coming from a place of judgement. Either way, I’ve learnt it’s best not to ask. I just feel that if someone was proud of their ring they wouldn’t hide what it was or get too defensive about it. Then I also understand that it could get tiring to explain what a moissanite is (I didn’t know before I weddingbee!)  In the end what matters is the person who gave it to you, and the stone is trivial. 

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