Ring envy

posted 2 years ago in Rings
Post # 2
Member
70 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: May 2018

I haven’t personally because my ring isn’t something that gives me confidence or could be a source of insecurity. It’s a token, a special reminder between my fiancé and myself that he asked me to spend the rest of my life as a team with him and I agreed. That’s all it is. It’s not a fashion accessory, or something to demonstrate our income bracket, or how “valuable” our relationship is with a dollar sign. He could have given me a cupcake and asked me to marry him and I would still have what really matters – a fiancé. He chose a ring he knew I would love, not a ring that he wanted to stack up against every other ring in the world. Someone else will always have something bigger, shinier, sparklier. That doesn’t take away from the sentimental value of your ring, which is what it’s all about, in my opinion.

Post # 4
Member
70 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: May 2018

californialove3 :  As much as you feel like your lives are similar and you can compare yourself to her, remember that you never know the whole story. For every 1 thing you envy of hers there may be 10 you would never wish upon yourself. Finding contentment and gratitude for what you have – that’s really all you can control. Rings are just things. Maybe she wishes hers was a little simpler and less over the top like yours? The reality is you’ll never know and you can get back to enjoying your own ring and how much you love it. Fixating on hers will just make you love yours less, and that won’t make you feel any better. 

Post # 5
Member
646 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 2017

californialove3 :  Clearly she had ring envy for your’s to get a ring just like your’s. I’d think of it as a little bit unoriginal. There are hundreds of ring styles out there. 

Post # 7
Member
70 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: May 2018

Yes! You have a beautiful ring and a husband. Her having a beautiful ring doesn’t make yours any less beautiful. Find joy in how lucky your ring makes you feel to have your husband and the memories of your proposal and wedding and life together šŸ™‚ I still get a goofy grin on my face when I look at mine and I’ve been engaged 6 months now. <3 

Post # 8
Member
479 posts
Helper bee

californialove3 :  I do have ring envy sometimes. But because I know it’s unhealthy for myself and it makes me unhappy as a person, I try my best not to compare myself to other people. At the end of the day, I dont know why you would envy hers – not like she got his massive rock! Her stone size is same as yours, similar design…sounds like she copied you šŸ˜› you should be proud of your ring that it is so beautiful that someone had to copy it! And rings are symbol of love between yourself and your husband. Like one of the PPs said, she might wish that hers was simple like yours.

My husband’s SIL has a massive ring and he has always been compared by his parents to his brother (that the brother is better). I’ve never seen her ring up close but I know she has a huge ring and I understand they love to flaunt, stretch their limits to drive expensive cars, only carry luxury bags, watches etc..I know they do have good income (because they keep talking about how great they are).

Whereas we live a more humble modest lifestyle and try to save. I am not sure how much savings they have but certainly I know that what shows on the surface is not a representative of how much they actually have. I don’t feel insecure about it because I know I have 50 other things that are better than them that they probably wished they had and they do have things that I wish I had. At the end of the day, one cannot compare just on one aspect. Every person is unique.

Post # 11
Member
218 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2017

You never know what relationships are like behind closed doors. That ring could have been paid with cash the day they picked it up or take them 5 years to pay off. What’s right for them is not necessarily right for you. I know it’s hard when envy sneaks up on you.

My ring is lovely but sometimes I feel like it’s small compared to everyone else even though I thought my Fiance spent too much as is! But then I picture him picking it out, thinking about which one was right for me, and getting excited to propose and I always get tears in my eyes and I wouldn’t trade it for anything. 

 

Post # 12
Member
389 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2005

Girl, post a pic of your ring so we can gush over it! šŸ˜

Post # 13
Member
658 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2016

lulubloom :  This! Think about all the thought he put into your ring. That is priceless!

Post # 14
Member
390 posts
Helper bee

I think one of the best ways to deal with jealousy is to be honest – I would just tell her – you know, every timeĀ I see your ring I just love it! It sparkles so much! Such a gorgeousĀ ring.Ā 

I guarantee she’llĀ probably appreciate the comment and you’ll feel better because you acknowledged that you like her ring.Ā 

I find that when we don’t acknowledgeĀ our jealousy and try to hide it we feel bad about it – but there’s nothing wrong in admittingĀ to her that you really like her ring.Ā 

Post # 15
Member
70 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: May 2018

totallyabee :  I agree! paying someone a compliment is the best way to let those feelings go in a positive way and not fixate on them in a negative way! 

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