(Closed) Ring etiquette: I'm very bad at lying and don't like her ring.

posted 5 months ago in Rings
Post # 2
838 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: January 2019

Say the things you listed above with genuine enthusiasm. Oh I just love the simplicity and uniqueness of the blue! It really suits you! Practice saying it in the car if you need to. 

Post # 3
667 posts
Busy bee

theweddingunplanner :  just let her talk. She’s likely excited. “Congratulations, so beautiful!” Can segue quickly into “how did you feel/ tell me all the details/ so excited for you/ so happy for you”

it’s not about the ring, it’s about the love. The energy. The excitement, Hope, happiness, and joy that’s shes sharing when she shows you the ring. 

Just know you’re stepping in under her sparkly, shiny new veil of wonder around it all, and do your very best to connect heart to heart, or at least listen. 

The magic fades soon enough when people bring a lot of crap to it- I guarantee you she’ll be so grateful just for an “oh my gosh, congratulations!” I sure am, as it’s rare that other people can genuinely take a moment to share in our happiness ❤️ When they do, it’s really lovely. 

Post # 4
320 posts
Helper bee

Take the excellent  advice from ahsoka :  and focus on the engagement. The good new is that you don’t have to like the ring – it’s here to wear – and you can still share in the excitement of the engagement and coming wedding.

Post # 5
1038 posts
Bumble bee

My go to is alaways, “*grab their hand, pull them toward you in joy*. *pause to glance at the ring* Oh, Jessica! Look at that! Oh I bet you are just in love with it! Oh, sweetie, congratulations! I am so happy for you!! When is the wedding? (Or other topic)”


I do this whether I like a ring immensely or think it is terrible, because really ring preference and style is all personal taste and personal budget. Focus on celebrating her joy, her feelings about her ring, and your happiness over the engagement. Those are all authentic emotions 

Post # 6
5417 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: July 2018

You don’t need to like her ring, you aren’t wearing it.  You don’t have to focus on her ring, just gush about how happy you are for her.

Post # 8
477 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2017

theweddingunplanner :  You might not even need to comment on it at all. When I got engaged my first inclination was not to shove my hand in people’s faces and say “LOOK AT MY RING! TELL ME YOU LIKE IT!” Instead it was more of an excited conversation about how we were engaged, when it was happening, etc etc. If the person I was talking to asked the see the ring more closely then we would move on to ring talk, but that wasn’t the most important part! As PP have said, keep it about the excitement of the engagement itself and if the moment shifts attention to the ring just share some of your positive honest thoughts as enthusiastically and kindly as you can. (What a beautiful unique color, how thoughtful of him to choose a stone he knew she loved, etc) 

Post # 9
1236 posts
Bumble bee

I would focus on her engagement, give her a big hug and say congratulations (which you will show genuine excitement for). If someone else comment on the ring you can simply nod and smile. I never act excited about people’s engagement rings even if I do think it looks nice. And it’s not like they’re shoving their hands in my face waiting for a comment. 

Post # 10
886 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

theweddingunplanner :  channel it all to the actual engagement and be enthusiastic about that. Just take her hand to acknowledge the ring and maybe give her a hug and say congratulations. If the focus does turn to the ring mention the fact that the stone is her birthstone and how thoughtful that was.

Post # 11
93 posts
Worker bee

Lol I just really appreciated this thread today. I just heard what my SIL is planning on naming her twin girls and I had to reeeeally keep a straight face and quickly think of something honest but also loving and supportive to say! At least you have some prep time. I think PPs have offered lots of very good suggestions!

Post # 12
1332 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2005 - A Castle

The irony…

Just be happy for her. 

Post # 13
262 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: By the lake

If she ask, I would say-  Congratulations!  Nice ring and it’s your birthstone!  That is really great!  

That’s it.  What more does she have to hear?   If she says something else or asks, tell her-  As long as you are happy with the ring and he loves you, that’s all that matters.  Leave it like that and maybe find an excuse to walk away so she doesn’t have to extend the conversation about her ring.  

Post # 14
7000 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2012

Call me crazy but I don’t see the big deal? Life is full of times where you might not like something but the appropriate response is to smile and say something nice. A simple “Congratulations, it looks just like you” will do. 

I get it, I don’t have a great poker face – it’s a running joke with my friends. That being said it’s mostly when I am taken by surprise and even then I hide it. You know the ring isn’t something you like, so it shouldn’t come as some surprise to come up with something nice to say.

Post # 15
2155 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2017

theweddingunplanner :  you don’t need to say anything about the ring. You can just say I’m so excited for you. That’s not s lie so it should come out just fine. Her ring has nothing to do with you so you do not need to like or appreciate it. 

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