(Closed) Ring expectations

posted 9 years ago in Waiting
  • poll: Did you have frank conversations with your BF/FI/SO about your desires in a ring?

    Yes, he knows/knew exactly what I wanted and he's going to get it for me

    He gave me his budget and I worked with him to find something that works

    We mutually agreed on something and I am going to help pay for it

    I've given hints, but its ultimately up to him

    We haven't talked about it at all


  • Post # 3
    15120 posts
    Honey Beekeeper
    • Wedding: June 2011

    I voted, he knew what I wanted and got it, but it was really somewhere in between he knew what I wanted and got it for me and its up to him.  He knew I love jewelery and the bigger the better, but ultimately it was up to him to set a reasonable budget.

    Post # 4
    7605 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper

    We went ring shopping together and ultimately ended up having my ring designed and made by a private jeweller.  He was there throughout the whole wax casting process, so it definitely was exactly what I wanted!  He also originally set a budget of around 5k, but what I wanted ended up being just under 3k.  So, good for him, haha!

    Post # 5
    2892 posts
    Sugar bee

    He was pretty open about it and said he never wanted to get something without my input. We both have very particular tastes and we wanted to find something that encapuslated those tastes. Really, there’s no reason for him to waste a single penny on something I don’t love – and that’s a sentiment we both share. I’d rather not have a ring than wear something he had to waste money on just to fulfill some symbol requirement. He gave me a $ figure to work around and after months and months of searching we’ve finally found/are making something that’s perfect in price and design. Should be finished sometime this month. ๐Ÿ™‚

    EDIT: He originally agreed to let me pay for anything that went over the budget. When it came time to swipe credit cards he kicked me out and told me he only agreed to that to shut me up. ๐Ÿ™‚ His loss. I was prepared to pay. (Shrugs shoulders)

    Post # 6
    11163 posts
    Sugar Beekeeper

    I have joked with my Fiance from the beginning that I am expensive. When it came to rings he naturally expected to spend a bit and once we started shopping he realized the estimated cost of what I wanted. He never judged or discouraged me on what I wanted because he knew that I was willing to wait to get it and ended up getting a bigger diamond that I had originally chosen.

    To be honest $3,500 is pretty reasonable for an e-ring so I don’t think you are asking for something out of this world. If you are willing to wait for him to save (and you if you are contributing) then I can’t see any reason for discomfort other than he maybe  wants to be the only one to contribute towards the ring.


    Post # 7
    6891 posts
    Busy Beekeeper
    • Wedding: March 2012

    Basically, we picked it together. Also, if what I had wanted was out of his budget, I would have had no problem helping pay for it.

    Post # 8
    344 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: June 2013

    My fiance and I first set a loose budget.  We then started looking at rings and realized that the budget was too low for what **we both** wanted.  ๐Ÿ˜‰

    My fiance gets SO UNCOMFTABLE around expensive things.. to the point where I can’t bring him in Neimans or Saks because he flips out.  But I think constantly looking at rings made him less sensitive while ring shopping.  He ended up getting me the ring he previously described as “gaudy” because I loved it and that made him love it!

    Is $3,500 too much money for him to save up for??  Maybe you can pay for a few more meals here and there so he can save more money (and ego).

    Post # 9
    6891 posts
    Busy Beekeeper
    • Wedding: March 2012

    Btw – you said $3,500 without the stone, correct? What would it be in case he doesn’t have the heirloom one? Like, significantly more?

    Post # 10
    11376 posts
    Sugar Beekeeper
    • Wedding: December 2010

    I knew what he could afford & went from there. We went shopping together, also. 

    Post # 11
    4753 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: May 2012

    I told him that blood diamonds are near dear issue to me, and I wanted him to do his homework on the history of the diamond and ensure it’s non conflict. After that I crossed my fingers… he’s traditional and knew I’m not into fads that are halo’s and 3 stone rings. Whew! But if I got one, I’d wear the hell out of it, proudly.

    Post # 12
    801 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: December 2012

    His mom asked me what I thought of “going shopping with the guy for e-rings”. I said I want a complete surprise. So it’s entirely up to him. (Fingers crossed)

    Post # 13
    4044 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: November 1999

    We went ring shopping and narrowed it down to a few choices that I really liked. He ended up picking one and surprising me with it.

    Post # 14
    3617 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: November 2011

    I told my Fiance exactly what I wanted, but he hated it. I showed him countless rings and he wouldn’t want to look at them. He’d glance at it and that would be about it. He wanted to pick out a ring for me himself something he thought I would like. He knew what would be considered to small for me in terms of a centerstone and that may have been the only info he accepted from me. In the end he exceeded my expectations with a gorgeous unique ring that I am thrilled to have. 

    Knowing my Fiance he would have been offended had I offered to contribute to my ring. For one, he would see it as what he can offer isn’t good enough for me. Or, I was only interested in the size of the engagement ring and not the marriage part of it all. Not saying this is how you or your bf are, just saying this is how my Fiance would feel about it. 

    Post # 15
    371 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: August 2013

    We went shopping together, since I have very particular taste (and needs) when it comes to my rings.  He had a budget, but it was far more than I was actually comfortable with.

    Post # 16
    823 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: May 2013

    I’ve sent him a ton of inspirational images and we also tried on vintage rings at an antique fair. Ultimately though, I want to be surprised. I have no idea which one he will pick! Or when he plans to buy one. Although he has told me it will be before May 2012. ๐Ÿ™‚

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