(Closed) Ring expectations

posted 10 years ago in Waiting
  • poll: Did you have frank conversations with your BF/FI/SO about your desires in a ring?

    Yes, he knows/knew exactly what I wanted and he's going to get it for me

    He gave me his budget and I worked with him to find something that works

    We mutually agreed on something and I am going to help pay for it

    I've given hints, but its ultimately up to him

    We haven't talked about it at all


  • Post # 17
    1715 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: September 2012

    I sent my sister a “ring file”.  And, he has been trying to subtly probing me for hints.  Ok, it hasn’t been subtle because I now know what he is up to.  lol   

    Post # 18
    1295 posts
    Bumble bee

    I showed my SO exactly what I wanted. The type of diamond and where to get it from. Along with three of my favorite ring settings. I really hope he picks my top one I’ve been hinting to him that’s what I want. However if he listens to me that’s another story. I hope he does listen to me. I’ve told him I want to totally love my ring and the best way is to get something I already picked out. We will see what he does in the end though.

    Post # 19
    805 posts
    Busy bee

    We haven’t talked about it but when we do I’ll tell him exactly what I want, like I did with what I wanted for my christmas present this year.

    Post # 20
    219 posts
    Helper bee

    I’ve never even hinted about it.  He’s of the “total surprise” mindset, so I don’t think he wants my input.  I have kept my mouth completely shut.

    That said, I’m debating whether to send him an email with my preferences- I trust his taste, but basically, I want a cheaper ring than I think he’s likely to get on his own.   He works in a lucrative, image-conscious profession, and I’m afraid he’d get something relatively expensive, as I think all he knows about rings is probably from seeing what guys around him get.  I’d prefer either a synthetic stone or a very small, ethically-attained diamond.  I would also be too nervous about losing a really high end ring to enjoy wearing it anyway!  

    Post # 21
    2408 posts
    Buzzing bee

    We went ring shopping together so he knows which style I like and really want. That is as far as my involvement will go. Everything else, what it ultimately looks like, where he’ll get it from, price, etc, is up to him. I don’t even know what his budget is. I have no clue otherwise!

    Post # 22
    1566 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: October 2012

    SO asked me to email him pics of rings I like.  We talked casually about a $3k-$4k budget.  That was back in Aug of this year…I don’t believe he has purchased a ring yet…so here I wait!

    Post # 23
    4474 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: November 2012

    I’ve sent my bf links of 4 rings and told him to pick the one he likes best.  I don’t feel bad about it, because I’ve done my research, and because I want him to know what I like.


    I see why your guy may have gotten uncomfortable about you offering to help pay for it.  Some guys would be offended about that sort of thing.  If money’s an issue, while $3500 is a lot of money, if he’s good with money, and has an ok salary, saving for the setting is a doable thing.  If he has access to a family diamond, even better, otherwise perhaps go with an alternate stone like moissy?


    Maybe let the topic cool off for a bit; in time, a good opportunity may present itself for discussing this issue again.  

    Post # 24
    4009 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: October 2013

    LOL I picked out my ring AND ordered it!

    Post # 25
    1713 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: March 2016

    He definitely did not want to get me a ring without my input, and so I chose something (WAY within our budget) and he bought it! Now comes the waiting game…

    Post # 26
    497 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: May 2010

    Because we were LD, engagement was always a discussion for us because obviously it would involve a big move for one of us, and we decided to get married before there was ever a ring…. but my fellow felt weird about not having a proper proposal, and though I told him I really didn’t need a ring because our situation was expensive enough as it is and it was a short engagement but I left it up to him.  He did decide to surprise me with a ring and proposal later on when I moved over for good (3.5 months after deciding to get married).

    Post # 27
    1346 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: November 2012

    I was lucky enough to have a mutual friend that got engaged to us not that long before us.
    She posted a picture of her ring on FB and I casually mentioned that it was my ideal ring with a few tweeks and low and behold she told him and ta-da ring of dreams 😛

    Post # 28
    1087 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: April 2018

    SO and I have talked rings, looked at a few at jewelry stores (but never tried any on… they didn’t have the style I want) but I have given him hints as to what I want: Heart Cut (not sure if I want a diamond, blue sapphire, pink sapphire, tanzanite, amethyst, or blue topaz) set in white gold (or any other metal as long as it’s not white or rose gold) I even sent him this link: http://www.gemvara.com/Heart-Pink-Sapphire-Platinum-Ring-by-Gemvara-Essentials/jewelry/v/1975161/

    But now it is up to him, he has hinted that he has put money down on the ring, and may even have it in his posession, and that I will see it in a couple of weeks 🙂 at this point I would accept a plastic ring from him and just start planning the wedding lol I can’t wait to be his wife

    Post # 29
    69 posts
    Worker bee
    • Wedding: June 2013

    It started out with us shopping together. We both liked blue sapphires and white gold, which brought the price down significantly (diamonds are such a scam!).

    Then he blabbed his plans to his aunt, who offered up her old wedding band to have melted down and set him up with the goldsmith she used for her second one. 

    So then it was free game, I could have any ring design I wanted! And that actually completely overwhelmed me so I gave up and told him to pick one that he loves and I will love it because he loves it.

    It’s being made now and I have no clue what it will look like! We’d looked at enough rings that he should have a clue what kinds of designs appeal to me and what kind of stone cuts I preferred. But I’m keeping an open mind. I really do mean that I will love it just because he loves it. He’s taking this time to pick out something just for me and it’s the thoughtfulness of that and the fact that he wants to spend his life with me that really matters.

    Post # 30
    288 posts
    Helper bee

    So I didn’t vote, because I’m a combination of answers. We went shopping together, he gave me a budget, if you’d call it that, but it was high which was surprising. I had ideas of what I *thought* I wanted, and what we BOTH fell in love with was completely different! So we both found THE ring together, and he’s now saving up for it. =) 

    Post # 31
    3521 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: December 2010

    We discussed what stone, cut, and style we both liked, picked it out together, and I helped pay.

    The topic ‘Ring expectations’ is closed to new replies.

    Find Amazing Vendors