(Closed) Ring- gets no reaction?!

posted 9 years ago in Rings
Post # 195
Member
9053 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2010

I didn’t really shop for my ring, and had only pointed out a few various rings online to my husband.  I ended up with a Tacori, which while not quite as expensive as Tiffany’s, there’s definitely a hefty price on that little mark on the inside. 

I LOVE my ring because it’s the one he proposed with, and the delicate work IS very pretty, but there definitely is still a part of me that thinks our ring budget could have stretched a little farther if he hadn’t gone with a “brand”. 

I think it’s a fairly typical “grass is greener” thing, when I start eyeing other people’s simple solitaires.  I would never say anything to my husband, because I wouldn’t want to hurt his feelings.

But I have to admit it kind of bummed me out when I called my mom to ask her how to go about adding a jewelery rider to our house insurance and she laughed and told me we didn’t need it for “that little thing”.

Post # 196
Member
620 posts
Busy bee

@SapphireSun:

A guy does want to knock a woman’s socks off and would like to get her a ring that she would be proud to show her friends.  It becomes hard when a woman sets her expectations so high…and that wasn’t even the high priced ring.  lol 

It would be helpful to all guys if women would set their expectations low (as far as price) and realize if she was marrying a man with less money, she might not have as much choice.

In the US, most women do not get their rings from Tiffany’s either.  Sometimes it just sparks haters anyway…lol  Some seem determined to tell the woman her man overpaid.  Who cares?  It’s his money right? 

You are right about not mentioning the price.  The classiest I’ve seen is a woman who has an amaing ring that we call “the ring” she just smiles and never would discuss it’s value.  It just adds mystique to “the ring”.  We think it’s valuable though…lol  We don’t need the exact amount. 

Post # 197
Member
1013 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

 I definatly looked at tiffanys rings. We decided to go against it mainly because we could not afford the one I wanted and I would have had to settle on something alot smaller just for the name. I also knew that if I went with Tiffanys most people would not know that it was a tiffanys ring so I would be choosing it for just me to know it and it would not be worth it to me dollar wise. I gave Fiance some options of things I liked and he went ahead and found one on his own and I love it

Post # 198
Member
620 posts
Busy bee

@SapphireSun:

See…lol  How does it become “our ring budget”?  Doesn’t the “our” start after you receive the ring?  So when he bought the ring it was “his ring budget” right?  lol

Your mom is overly direct eh?  lol  I’m sure she was just teasing as a joke. 

Post # 199
Member
9053 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2010

@Socrates: We lived together for three years before we got engaged and had fully integrated finances.  Any money spent by either of us is from “our” budget.  We did discuss how much would be ok to divert from savings for other things. 

I’m just saying I can see how at any price point (mine was nowhere NEAR 13,000) you can wonder if going another way would have been more bang for your buck, so to speak.

 

Post # 200
Member
620 posts
Busy bee

@SapphireSun:

kk gotcha…you had merged finances before. 

I’m sure even when it is not merged, some are thinking “We could have used that money for the wedding” or “for a new car” etc. 

I’d say enjoy it and don’t look back.  JMO

 

Post # 201
Member
303 posts
Helper bee

Well, nicely done ladies. Looks like you scared her away well and truly. I could say more, but that would make me as bad as some of the rest of you. Sigh.

 

To the OP: I think I agree with the more constructive previous posts. It’s not the best motivation to desire something so others will notice it, but hey.. I’ve been there, so no judgment from me. Love your ring for the beauty it is, and for the meaning it has for you.

I have a T&co necklace which was a gift from my beloved. He knew I wanted it, because it was pretty and I loved the style, and also the little blue box it came in. No one realises it’s a Tiffany, but I know, and those reasons why I love it make it special to me.

Post # 203
Member
627 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

I think the counseling is a great plan. As you said you got your dream ring, from your dream store and something is still making you feel bad. There is a theory that we are most happy when imagining future happiness, but that doesn’t mean getting what we want should induce sorrow.

Sometimes weddings bring up all the little uneven sides of our personalities, in your case I think it really is forcing you to confront your insecurities which in the long run is way more important than a shiny rock. 

Good luck and keep us posted!

Post # 204
Member
8736 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2011

@jem123: I’m glad you are taking the time to read through all the responses and keeping a level head about it all.

Sometimes our insecurity demons can really get to us and we do sometimes rely on the reactions of others to tell us how to feel.

Everyone goes through bouts of insecurity (whether they will admit it or not) and when you hit one of those insecurity moments, try to refocus your attention on all the positive and self affirming things in your life.

A Fiance that loves you dearly and wanted to make sure you got what you wanted and a gorgeous diamond ring that symbolizes that.

Post # 205
Member
73 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: July 2006

By the way, I don’t think the OP was bragging about having “rings flown in.” This is what Tiffany does.  They have a selection for viewing at their store, but also talk with you about the specifications you are looking for (G, VS2, 1.5 carat, for example).  They will then look in their computer for appropriate rings in their inventory in your price range through all their stores.  This is really nothing special and I would think any jeweler with multiple locations would do this.

Post # 206
Member
226 posts
Helper bee

It sounds like you have really started to love your ring! Nothing wrong with staring at it, I can’t wait to be able to do that myself! 😉

Post # 207
Member
30 posts
Newbee

I’m one of those girls who are clueless about rings, and both fiance and I didn’t notice them AT ALL until we started ring shopping.

I think it’s quite normal to feel a bit self conscious especially so soon after the engagement announcement. I think there are generally a lot of expectations about what people will say – from expressing (or not) their congrats to you & fiance to your wedding plans and engagement ring.

Personally, I’ve NEVER ever asked to look at an e-ring cuz it never crossed my mind (I am THAT ignorant). Didn’t realise it until I read your post, actually!

I think that it’s great you are keeping an open mind to criticism – because people will be open to giving you honest feedback.

In your situation, I think as long as your are happy with your ring – that is all that matters. I have an “unusual” e-ring and prepared myself mentally for any negative comments – haven’t received any just yet (except my mom saying my fiance should buy me a bigger diamond next time LOL). There are times when I have doubts about my choice (we shopped together) but it’s akin to the grass being greener on the other side – I am really happy with it.

I hope that you will also feel truly happy with your ring too – regardless of other people comments / non-comments. 

 

Post # 208
Member
620 posts
Busy bee

@jem123

Good for you.

I don’t know how I came off but I meant to be positive. I just thought it was funny because I think in real life we all struggle with those feelings but usually we do it in our heads.

Ungratefulness pops up from time to time with me (for the reasons I mentioned) but I just have to keep reminding myself. It works for a while but then eventually it will happen again and I have to remind myself again. I just don’t say it out loud. lol

Other bad thoughts briefly cross my mind too…jealously, brief envy, regret, etc. Usually they don’t stay long in my mind because I destroy them within a minute or so…but they pop up from time to time. lol The best trick for jealousy or envy is asking “Would you want to trade everything?” (Whatever the person has is a complete package…good with bad). The answer is always “no” and then it (jealously or envy) goes away…pretty awesome. At the same time it reminds you of the things about yourself you would never want to give up and makes you grateful again…until the next time…lol

Post # 209
Member
349 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2011

@SapphireSun:  Same here!  My fiance and I have been living together for 3 years.  Also, this is a second marriage for both of us, we are older (lots older…lol), and have joint finances.  So I picked out a ring using OUR money.  Nice to see I am not alone.  I have to say it felt wierd.

As for the issue we are discussing, hmmmmmmm, here are some thoughts…

To the original poster:  I am sooo glad you reposted.  That was wonderful.  Sweetie, our engagement rings will always represent the love that our future spouses have for us and we have for them. It could be a $100K megarock or it could be a $100 carbon chip – the actually value of the ring isn’t in how much it cost but what it means in our hearts.  I’ll let you in on another secret.  As you and your husband grow old together, have experiences, raise children, collect memories – the ring, regardless of how much it cost, will become more valuable until it becomes priceless.  Moral of the story – strangers will NEVER  know the true value of this ring.  Only you will.  Enjoy it.

As for worrying about what others think – I’m 51 and finally in therapy to work this out for myself.   I assume you are quite a bit younger – so I applaud you.  Good going.  As for what others say or don’t say about your ring (or any other aspect of your life), let me assure you that no one is **nearly** as judgmental of us as we are to ourselves.  Truly. 

Good luck on your marriage.  You will be fine.

 

The topic ‘Ring- gets no reaction?!’ is closed to new replies.

Find Amazing Vendors