Post # 1
Random question, but do any of you ever feel guilty about the price of your ring? My boyfriend bought the ring a few weeks ago. I’m pretty sure he’s going to give it to me this weekend, and all of the “moissanite vs diamond” posts make me think that I should have just gone with a moissanite… It looks almost identical to this one: http://www.moissaniteco.com/embrace-round-brilliant-moissanite-engagement-ring-p-12958.html
with a .98ct D SI2 (GIA?) that is spectacular, except it was wayyy more money even with the jewelers being family friends that gave us a huge discount… I don’t think we can return the setting, but I could probably return just the diamond (the majority of money) and get a moissy set into it… I think the biggest reason I feel so guilty is that he is going to grad school in the fall, and I feel like he shouldn’t’ve spent all of that money on a ring when he’ll need it for classes and books soon…
Any thoughts? And if you recommend switching it out, how would you go about talking to him about it?
Post # 3
@doglover123: Did you help him pick the ring? Whether he picked it on his own or not you can just openly let him know he shouldn’t spend that much money. A relationship is based on trust and communication so you should be able to talk about these things and maybe come to some sort of an agreement.
Post # 4
I think if you just tell him that you would like him to get a moissanite to save for grad school he should understand and would be perfectly fine with your choice. Later in life if you would like to replace your stone with a diamond then I’m sure you could.
You shouldn’t feel guilty though, he bought the ring because he loves you and thinks you are worth every penny. 🙂
Post # 5
I don’t personally feel guilty about my ring, and it is substantial. But its what my fiance wanted to get me and he wouldnt have chosen it if it was not what he wanted to do.
For your situation, you have to do what is right for you. If you can’t afford it or if your fiance is going to have to take out way more loans for school than he previously would be, and you two don’t feel comfortable with that, then perhaps you should reavaluate.
Post # 6
@Bram: I agree. Ask him to return whatever you can and replace whatever you can with moissy and save the money. If he is anything like boyfriend he will love you even more for respecting his wallet as well as his heart!!!
Post # 7
I was awestruck when my Fiance proposed because the ring was just SO much larger and more perfect than I hoped for. I felt really guilty about it costing so much too, especially considering that he is saving up for things for himself…so I told him that it cost too much money and we should return it.
He wouldn’t let me. He said that he picked it out and he chose to give it to me… and that I shouldn’t worry about how much it’s worth. He said that if it’s exactly what I want (it is.) and I will wear it every day (I will.) then it was 100% worth it to him. Maybe your Fiance is like mine?
Post # 8
We picked it out together and he can afford it, but in hindsight it just seems ridiculous for him to have done when 99.9% of people wouldn’t be able to tell the difference, and I honestly don’t care… I think a big part of it is that the jeweler is a family friend, and we kind of got carried about with getting a “real” stone when my original plan was a moissanite… She suggested I get a CZ rather than bothering with a moissy since “it’s basically the same thing” in her opinion. She sold us the stone and setting at cost, so I don’t think it was about money, she just feels that way about moissanite… I also make more money than he does (he started down the college/”real” career path a little later in life), so I think that’s playing into this, and if he wasn’t such a guy about it I’d give him the money and not think about it again haha
Post # 9
@miss mechanical: I think that’s a big part of it too… He said I “deserve” it, and was almost insulted when I offered to pay for some of it, since I’m out of the school world and have more disposable income at the moment… Chances are good that he wouldn’t let me switch it out anyways…
Post # 10
I’d say, if it’s what he got for you and wanted to get, and you love it, keep it! If the only factor here is money, and I’m assuming it is, well he obviously doesn’t mind too much about paying more for the diamond so I’d be like “Alright then awesome!” and wear that baby EVERYWHERE.
That being said, my Fiance could afford a diamond and I chose Moissy because of the price difference (and ethics partially), but I chose this before he’d bought a ring. If he had gotten diamond I wouldn’t have swapped it, probably, (well actually maybe I would’ve but that’s because I love my Moissy so much..lol).
Post # 11
@doglover123: I see. Well just see how you like it once you get it… and really make sure you get what you want.. You might regret not getting a diamond down the line or vice versa. Would you consider passing the ring onto your children and would you be okay with passing down a moissanite? I don’t think there’s anything wrong with that but it’s just something to keep in mind.
Post # 12
Yes, I feel guilty…but then again he made the decision of the ring not me (it was custom made)…He did ask me what did i like and I told him, but at the end he chose the ring… The ring that I liked was more like 3,000- 5,000… when i saw what he gave me I didn’t ask the price but he accidently slip and told me in one of our convos and my mouth dropped…. I’m pretty much was wearing a brand new car or a down payment of a house. He and known each other for 7 years so I feel like he gave it to me with all his pride and joy. He is not a big spender and he makes very wise decision about his money so I know if he couldn’t afford it he wouldn’t have bought me such a expensive ring. So yes, i feel he spent so much… because he still needs to get my wedding band and that is going to cost another chunk because it will have to be custom made as well so it can go with ring.
Post # 13
@doglover123: XD I prefer moissanite myself and always thought if I wanted a diamond I’d just get a CZ because they are so alike.
Realistically of course none of the three are “pretty much” the same. They are all different and all distinct. Diamonds suffer from special snowflake syndrome as far as I can tell, there’s this ridiculous assumption that every colourless stone wishes it was a diamond. Lol. I wonder if some jewelers thing topaz wishes it was aquamarine and aquamarine wishes it was sapphire XD
Post # 14
i would get Asha or Moissanite.
Do you have pictures?
as long as he is ok with it- dont fight over it – then why not save some $$$?
Post # 15
I have no ring guilt and it was a bit pricey me thinks. I know Fiance saved for it and stayed within his budget so I have no reason to feel guilty.
Post # 16
i know how you feel. we found a ring ($2200) that i fell in love with that was way out of our budget ($1500) but incorporated everything we both wanted the ring to be. I also loved a moissanite wedding that was just inside our budget, but it was a set so it would have been more economical in the long run. he told me he was talking his mom shopping last weekend and i am pretty sure that he purchase the more expensive ring becuase it was what i loved (blue diamonds). i feel guilty but I know that in the long run it is an investment and he bought it because i loved it. if you really want to switch to a moissanite center definitely talk to him. He purchased the ring because you are worth every penny but you should also get EXACTLY what you want, not just something that looks similar. if the moissanite is what you want then definitely tell him and tell him soon. If the diamond is what you want and you are just worried about price share your concerns with him but don’t return the diamond just yet. Money can be pulled from other places (ie wedding funds, weding bands, vacation funds). Being a grad student myself i know what its like to scrimp to save money for all the things you want and if he really wanted to get you the ring he got i am sure he thought about where the money would have to come from.