- 5 years ago
- Wedding: July 2014
I know how shallow and silly this is going to sound, so please don’t judge me.
I love my boyfriend with all my heart and my first priority is, of course, our relationship and our future together. I realize that an engagement ring is just a piece of jewelry, that it is technically completely unnecessary, and that it really is no reflection on our relationship or of how he feels about me.
That being said, I really do want a nice engagement ring. Now, for me, “nice” isn’t a $10,000 ring. Most of the rings I love are in the $2,000 – $5,000 range. I’ve never been much of a “wedding girl,” if you know what I mean – I’m not someone who’s been planning their wedding since their 13th birthday and up until recently (when he asked me to look), I had no idea what style of ring I would like or want. So it surprises (and shames) me to think that I can’t honestly say I’d be happy with no ring, or a “cracker jack box ring.”
I know that my boyfriend is stressing out about affording a ring for me. He hasn’t come out and said so, but I know him well and I’ve picked up on it from his actions and from little things he’s let slip here and there. He does well for himself but he pays a mortgage and his student loans, and a big bonus he’s been waiting on still hasn’t come in—a bonus I’m pretty sure he’s planning on using to pay for a chunk of the ring. I also know that the “one” he likes is at the very high end of the $2,000-$5,000 range and I’m feeling SO GUILTY that he’s stressing himself out trying to get me the perfect ring. I’ve told him time and time again that it’s not about an expensive piece of jewelry, that I love him and just want to be with him and that when the time comes that we’re ready to be engaged, I don’t want to be held up because of finances and diamond rings. But I am embarrassed to admit the truth, which is that I DO want a ring, and a nice one at that.
I don’t know what to do, and I don’t know if what I’m feeling is normal. I want to be able to tell him once and for all that I don’t care about the ring, but I know in my heart that that isn’t the truth, and that I would be disappointed if he proposed without a ring, or with something really little or not to my taste. I’m in my (very) late 20’s and have spent years watching all my friends get engaged and married while I waited to find the right person, going through plenty of frogs in the process. I can’t help but feel that when it’s FINALLY my turn, I want the traditional proposal with a beautiful ring. So as much as I want to be laid-back and tell him not to buy one, or to buy something really small, not to knock himself out… I kind of WANT him to knock himself out :/
I don’t know, I’m just feeling so guilty and was hoping some of you could relate and maybe give me some advice? Thanks in advance J