(Closed) 'Ring Guilt' – did you experience this?

posted 6 years ago in Rings
  • poll: Ring Guilt:
    My e-ring was in the 1 – 5000 range and I did not experience ring guilt : (128 votes)
    34 %
    My e-ring was in the 5001 – 10000 range and I did not experience ring guilt : (58 votes)
    15 %
    My e-ring was 10000+ and I did not experience ring guilt : (54 votes)
    14 %
    My e-ring was in the 1 – 5000 range and I did experience ring guilt : (54 votes)
    14 %
    My e-ring was in the 5001 – 10000 range and I did experience ring guilt : (44 votes)
    12 %
    My e-ring was 10000+ and I did experience ring guilt : (30 votes)
    8 %
    My ring was an heirloom so the options above don't really apply : (9 votes)
    2 %
  • Post # 62
    Member
    106 posts
    Blushing bee

    Mine was $1,100, but it’s a Moissanite (which I love and wanted), but I get freaked out because it’s a 1.5 carat, which feels HUGE to me sometimes.  We both have good jobs, so I’m sure some people who aren’t familiar with Moissanite assume it’s a diamond (friends and family know it’s a Moissanite, I mean more like people I see in meetings, in line at the grocery store, etc).  It makes me a little self conscious/guilty, but I LOVE it.

    Post # 63
    Member
    422 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: May 2006

    @Arshim:  I have several rings that I switch out, some of them expensive, some of them not, and I don’t have ring guilt at all. I don’t spend a lot of money on other things (just getting acryllic nails, for example, costs upwards of $400 a year), and so I figure it sort of breaks even. I cut and color my own hair, do my own nails, and our cars are paid for, so yeah. I’m not bothered about getting shiny/expensive things occasionally.

    Post # 64
    Member
    1671 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: October 2013

    For my e-ring, not too much. It cost around 4000. But I do feel a teeny bit guilty about the $2000 band I’m having made. Especially since he chose a $10 titanium band off of amazon. (I told him he could pick ANYTHING.) We talked about it and he is completely ok with it though. I’m going to love it, and we can afford it. Ah well, the fancy watch I’m going to get for him will balance it out.

     

    Post # 65
    Member
    1671 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: October 2013

    @jadlnc:  I remember your ring from the antique style thread… It’s stunning, truly. Well chosen.

    Post # 66
    Member
    295 posts
    Helper bee

    I know I would differently had ring guilt if we 1000s on ring. I didn’t want something that costed as much as my car (5600) but I knew I wanted a color stone for sure. I was all set for getting a sapphire but the places we went a sapphire was the same if not more then a blue diamond. The only reason I didn’t go with a topaz was because I knew I would be rough with the ring. Instead on a whim we walked into a local jewerly store that sold new & esate rings. I found what I was looking for $350 (taxes & resizing) and I knew it was prefect. No it wasn’t my dream ring but I never had that moment. I figured I could always get another ring or a different setting in the future. But I also got my dream dog put of the deal and he was $50 more then the ring. 

    Post # 67
    Member
    315 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: August 2014

    I selected 10k+ and guilty…I don’t know exactly how much my ring cost, nor do I know exactly how large the center stone is, but I do know that it’s well over 1 karat, very possibly over 1.5, snow white, and nearly flawless. I had an heirloom ring that I would have been happy to use, but for a variety of reasons, my fiance decided to have a custom ring created in homage to the heirloom. Feminist concerns aside (I won’t even open that can of worms), my discomfort mainly stems from the fact that it seems like a waste; due to our professions, we will only ever be able to live in very expensive cities, and I feel guilty that he spent that money on me when it could have been put toward a down payment on a home. Also, I am from a small town and when I visit home I am hesitant to call attention to it because it seems ostentatious by local standards. All that said, aesthetically, I could not love it more, and I feel so lucky that my fiance felt I was worth spending so much money on.

    Post # 68
    Member
    1460 posts
    Bumble bee

    I selected $10k + and non guilty. I had some bargainers remorse because I feel like I could have beat the price if Fiance had let me “haggle” a bit but he chose not to, so that’s on him lol. I don’t feel guilty because it’s all relative. I was well under what he thought I’d spend and definitely under the 2 months salary rule that both of us subscribe to. If I had selected something he couldn’t afford, he would have quickly told me and I would have chosen something less expensive. 

    Post # 69
    Member
    2268 posts
    Buzzing bee

    I voted “10,000+ and I did not experience ring guilt“.

    I loved it, I wanted it, we could afford it, he wanted me to have what I love – so we bought it. I’m not going to feel guilty for owning/wearing something that I adore and we could afford – if we couldn’t afford it, or SO didn’t want to spend the amount we did, he wouldn’t have done it.

    No ‘guilt’ here.

    I think if you or your SO (though more your SO, assuming that you didn’t have a choice in the price of your e-ring) feels guilty about the price, you’ve probably spent too much.

    Post # 70
    Member
    864 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: June 2015

    I haven’t got my ring yet, but we picked out several center stone options and the exact setting (should be getting it any day now). Some center stones are more expensive than others, so the final price will vary. If he spends 15K or more, I’d feel bad because I know he wants/needs a new car, but I’d feel no guilt to the outside world no matter how much was spent. He gets upset when I try to favor the less expensive center stone, because he feels if he can’t afford to buy the ring I love, then he needs to make more money, not make me settle for less. Don’t worry Bees, he’s not spreading himself thin, just pushing his car purchase back a few months if he spends more. I just want him to get a really nice car. He deservs it.

     

    Post # 71
    Member
    64 posts
    Worker bee
    • Wedding: October 2015

    My ring guilt isnt really guilt per se… I think Fiance should have let me stick with the silver and cz that he originally proposed with for a bit longer so that we could have found a “forever ring” vs what I have now. I love the ring and could see myself with it forever, but he has already talked about upgrades. I think we would have been better off spending less on a bigger moissanite so that he had the size and I had the clear, warm sparkle I so adore.  But hey, we got a beautiful ring that I love at a good price. What is there to be guilty about in the long run?

    Post # 72
    Member
    62 posts
    Worker bee
    • Wedding: June 2011

    Both my e-rings together cost well under 400, and I do feel a bit of guilt only cos he originally wanted me to wear a plain band only.  I tried the plain band thing for 2 years, and it just isn’t me, plus it is what his exes wore. My ruby is my first e-ring, and it is in my avatar♥

    I just recently traded some other stuff I had for a 2.5ct Round Brilliant unenhanced Moissanite stone cos my dream e-ring, since I was a child, has been a clear solitaire. I have it set in a sterling solitaire setting I already had until the setting wears out.  Since I traded stuff I had before him, he didn’t really pay for it.  I alternate the rings. My ruby is my first love♥

    I am in love with Moissanite, as well.  I only got the Moissy so soon cos the  trade opportunity came up, and it might have been gone later. My true dream e-ring all my life has been a clear solitaire, but Darling Husband loathes DeBeers, and I tend to tear up CZ, though I like it.  The sparkle of Moissy is amazing, too, even my Darling Husband thinks it is beautiful!  

    If one has the money, and both are on board with the price, I don’t believe there should be any guilt.

    Diana

    Post # 73
    Member
    344 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: October 2013

    I would’ve been happy with a small, modest ring. It was HIM who INSISTED we spend 2 – 3 times what I imagined my ring would cost. So NO guilt here!!!

    And of course, once I saw my ring I loved it even though it was fancier than what I had imagined for myself. It’s perfect.

    Post # 74
    Member
    1068 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: September 2013

    Mine is in the 10k+ range and I experience some guilt. We can definitely afford it and didn’t stretch our bank at all. But I don’t know, sometimes I think that maybe I should’ve donated more money to starving children or something (which I do). 

    I think that despite us having the money, we weren’t born with it. I learned to work hard for what I have.

    I had never owned anything more than $1000 up until then!! And even though we both make good money now, I rarely ever buy anything with it. 

    Post # 75
    Hostess
    11165 posts
    Sugar Beekeeper

    In the words of my Darling Husband there is a car sitting on my pretty little finger. 

    Now had we gone into debt or couldn’t afford it than yes guilt would seep in. But we didn’t and we can so no, not guilty at all.

    Post # 76
    Member
    730 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: January 2013

    @Arshim:  I had the option of getting a large diamond and it made me feel guilty just looking at  it! Instead we opted for an inexpensive moissanite, total house remodel, and a debt free life to support our family of (now) six. Had it just been only the two of us I may have gone for it…and probably would have been guilt free. 

    (That being said, I speak only for myself. To each their own, and whatever the couple chooses I think it’s just nifty) 

    The topic ‘'Ring Guilt' – did you experience this?’ is closed to new replies.

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