Post # 17
I’m all for upgrading if that’s what you like but consider talking to Fiance or keeping quiet and loving it, in my opinion. If he sees you staring at your ring with love he will feel chuffed that he picked it, when it’s actually just a lie. Doesn’t seem fair to him!
Post # 18
This is difficult. I honestly don’t know what I would do in your situation because it would be horrible not liking my ring but it’s also horrible to tell a man you don’t like something so special that he spent a lot of time choosing for you.
I LIKE to think I would keep my mouth shut and be appreciative but I know my boyfriend would prefer me to tell him if I was unhappy.
Im sorry I’ve been absolutely no help here!
Post # 19
If you want to upgrade, upgrade, but please don’t hide it from your Fiance. Can you imagine how hurt he will be when he finds out you not only upgraded, but did it behind his back? He may be a little disappointed when you tell him you want to upgrade, but that disappointment will be much less than the disappoitnment he will feel if he knows you did it without telling him.
Post # 20
- Wedding: June 2017 - Vegas Wedings
So you are thinking of changing your ring and no telling him? I hope Im reading that wrong because even the densest guy cant tell white gold vs. yellow and will at some point figure it out. Changing the ring without telling him is pretty messed up In My Humble Opinion. If you want to change/ upgrade I really think you need to talk to him. That being said, if both of you are all for it DO IT! Just remember to keep your future husband in the loop.
And like other PP upgrading the diamond to what you want may not be worth it unless you want bragging rights.
Post # 21
I don’t think it’s fair to your Fiance, it sounds like he followed your rules when he picked it out for you. You said white gold was okay at the time and now you’ve changed your mind…it looks like you never discussed anything about stone quality. But you told him what setting style is good and he followed that. This guy was in a no win situation from the start.
I don’t see the point in switching stones or metals where there’s no visible difference, but if you do it, he should know.
Post # 22
Hmm, it would be nice to upgrade the stats of the stone, at least a bit. But at the same time you really don’t want to offend your SO.
What if you were to find a loose stone with upgraded stats and more presence, but the same size/shape as the one he presented to you? Then it’s got the exact style of the original, but the pizazz you’re dreaming of?
Post # 23
If you can’t tell the difference with the naked eye then I really don’t see the point in spending the extra money and sneaking around behind your FI’s back. You’re still going to have to look at a cloudy ring every day that only looks better under a loupe. If you’re going to go through all this trouble, you should get something that is noticeably different. Maybe try upgrading the cut as well as clarity so there is a real difference. Also, I didn’t catch what shape your stone is. I believe some shapes have the cloudy look due to the way they’re cut?
And for the record, I do agree with PPs that you should tell your Fiance.
Post # 24
I’d like to thank everyone who replied and appreciate the politeness and non-judgyness.
It’s been 2 weeks since engagement and so the whole frustration with the ring was slowly buiding up and culminating with me finally going to the store. I realize that practically everyone thinks that not mentioning it to fiance is a bad thing to do… which is different from my reasoning, but he is likely not to see it my way, so I agree with the bees on this one.
Since yesterday when the ring got cleaned I had a chance to observe it in a variety of lights and it does look better/sparklier. I am more inclined to stick with it (they gave me a cleaning set at the store, so I can do this regularly on my own). Also, I don’t see myself being able to bring it up and hurt him.
The new development today is that i got a quote on the identical style platinum setting from the same store. Are you sitting down bees? The platinum band is $1,550 and it’s $385 extra compared to the white gold one. I am a bit confused – how is it possible for a thin white gold band to cost $1165? It’s a palladium alloy (not nickel) but still, I don’t get it, even if the prongs were platinum (which I am not sure about), doesn’t it seem odd? This specific store offers life time free size adjustments and replating, does it mean they built in these “lifetime” services in the cost of the band? 400$ extra to upgrade the band to platinum is not a big deal at all, but now I am starting to wonder if they just ripped off my Fiance to begin with?
Post # 26
- Wedding: May 2013 - Pavilion overlooking golf course scenery, reception at banquet hall
The price of a setting is not just the price of the metal. You are paying for the designer’s creativity, the jeweler’s skill, the store’s overhead, etc etc.
Think of it like going to a nice restaurant – they’ll charge you $20 for about 20 cents worth of pasta, because you are paying for the great recipe, the service, the building’s rent, the table and chairs, silverware and napkins, etc etc etc.