(Closed) Ring-lemma: help!

posted 7 years ago in Rings
Post # 3
3461 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

What about having you buy it now and have Fiance pay you back?

Post # 4
365 posts
Helper bee

I think you should wait and get the ring you want.  I got engaged without a ring, too, so I know what you mean about other people asking.  Just tell them you’re waiting on a handmade ring.  They don’t need to know the details.  🙂  I think you’ll regret it later if you don’t get it, and it’s worth the wait.

I would send your uncle a sweet note saying thanks for the contribution, that you really appreciate it, etc.  He also doesn’t need to know the details and he can see your dream ring when you do get it. 

Post # 5
3222 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2011

Does your Fiance have to chip in? Are you comfortable paying for the ring yourself? It seems to me that it would be somewhat unfair to expect him to help pay, when you’re the one who wants it. 

Post # 6
14660 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2011

Your money, his money…. if you’re getting married, its all the same at this point.  I vote buy the one you want now.  No one has to know where exactly the money for your ring came from.

Post # 7
278 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: January 2012

Get what you really want.  One note on the pearl ring though, pearls are not really meant for everyday wear since they are not as durable as diamonds.  So you could ruin the ring if you wore it every day.  Frown

Post # 8
24 posts
  • Wedding: May 2011

Those are both great rings. I’d send a note to the uncle thanking him for the generous gift, and leave it at that; he doesn’t need an explanation about your ring-buying process, but he does need a thank you note.


As for which ring to get: Weigh the various considerations and decide which matter most to you – to have a ring NOW, to have him pay for the ring, to get the ring you prefer – and then make your decision. Either way, you’re going to be fine, life will be good, and you’ll have a great ring that you love. (I like the second one, personally. Why not just buy it, and worry about whose money went toward it later? Or see if the artist would negotiate – or take a deposit and get the rest of the $ later?)


Post # 9
7587 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: December 2010

I agree with the other. Just get it and let him pay you back. Suck up the pride for second FI!!

@JanuraryGirl80: And I also agree with this statement.  I have a pearl ring that I wear too much and it’s essentially destroyed.  They are really only meant for occassional wear.

Post # 10
4137 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

pearls are way too delicate for everyday wear. i would look at some other gemstone options.

Post # 11
3148 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: February 2010

get the ring you want! seriously, whenever I have a choice between two things, and I talk myself into the cheaper one just because it’s cheaper (and no other reason), I end up regretting it later on. 

how about this compromise: you pay for your engagement ring you want, so you can have it now. and then, if you want to get a wedding band too, maybe he can save up and pay for that instead?

OR: ask your Fiance to put the ring you want on layaway (if the jeweler allows). your uncle’s money could be the down payment. meanwhile, wear an inexpensive placeholder ring on your left hand if you feel like you need something to be on there. lots of brides do that. I have a CZ ring that I wore when mine was being appraised.

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