Post # 1
I need some other brides input on this. I recently got engaged and am thrilled to marry my fiance. He works as a doctor and when I got engaged we picked the ring out together. I picked something I loved, he stayed out of it except to occasionally laugh when I asked him if he liked it because he said it was all up to me. Last night, I went to a wedding and took my best friend as my date (my man couldn’t make it). She hadn’t seen the ring yet and told me it was “cute” and that she was expecting a 3 ct. plus rock from a big time doctor. I was speachless. She said this at the reception where everyone could hear how he was a doctor, my ring could be bigger, etc. I don’t even know how what to think. I felt beyond happy with being engaged, adored the ring we picked together, thought it was very fitting for my small hand (size 5) and the ring in the next size looked huge on me and I felt it was overpowering. To me, my ring (size 1 ct total. a .75 center with a halo) was just perfect for me, my style and what I wanted to wear for my life. Is the perception that the bigger the mans salary the huger the ring? I wouldn’t want a cocktail size e-ring to lug around and I am curious to know what other people think.
Post # 3
I think it is 100% a symbol of love and of a ring that you love. Size doesn’t matter. The fact that you were on cloud nine about your ring until a shortsighted friend turned it into a petty cost competition means that your heart is in the exact right place. I’d say laugh all the way to the bank – the tens of thousands of dollars you didn’t spend on a ridiculously-sized stone will help ensure your family’s stability in the future. Feel good about that! You could pay for an amazing wedding with the difference in cost, seriously!
Post # 4
how rude of your friend to say that! You’re obviously not flashy and showy with the celection of your ring and to that I say, good for you, girl! I admire that in a girl and its fitting you’re married a wonderful doctor! Congratulations!
I get that the more you have (make) the more you spend (its the norm), but you’re both smart for being modest! The ring should represent your taste and style, not how big or small his paycheck is. You say the next one up looks too big and you ultimately decided on the smaller one because it is more you. Your friend is just materialistic. Next time tell her to mind her manner. =)
Post # 5
yeah ignore her. the ring is abotu you and him and nothing else, especially not his paycheck. for all that matters it could have been something from the dollar store for all i care.
youre getting married to the man of your dreams. tell her to stuff it and learn some manners.
Post # 6
Wow that’s awful that she said that! I’ve had people say similar things to me and I still can’t believe that people can be that rude. We could have easily spent more money on the ring but we didn’t, because I’d rather save it for the wedding or a house or a million other things than a larger ring lol. The ring is a symbol of the love between the two of you, it’s not an excuse to spend tons of money to impress people. You and your fiance are in love and you both love the ring, so it really doesn’t matter what anyone else has to say!
Post # 7
that’s really rude! unfortunately this is just the beginning of it . . . my dad is a doctor and the oneupmanship between the doctors wives is crazy! all designer bags and big diamonds. ignore it as much as you can. anway your diamond is not small at all and why would you want a bigger one just for the sake of it being big? it’s not about size at all when it comes to rings
Post # 8
That was very rude! I know how you feel about the ring being appropriate for your hand size. Mine is .58 carat center diamond, 3-stone ring w/pave band, and it’s 1 1/2 ct tw. So, no giant rock. I also tried on the next bigger size, which looked crazy on my hand. That’s also why we chose the size we did, and I love it. Ignore her rude comment!
Post # 9
Well I think it’s probably understandable that ppl with bigger incomes can afford larger rings. Around where I live those with the biggest houses, usually have the biggest diamonds. (Unless some folks are going into debt for stuff.) So while it might not have been the most tactful thing for her to say, I don’t think it’s anything to get bent out of shape about. If you’re happy with your ring, don’t let it bother you. It doesn’t sound like she was trying to be snarky. Just surprised because she was assuming in her head that it would be a huge ring.
Post # 10
I agree with everyone’s comments so far… It’s between you and your fiance – Your ring sounds perfect. My cousin received a large diamond for her engagement. She lives in DC and she doesn’t get to wear it much because she is afraid of going to and from work with a big rock on her hand and she can’t do normal things like cleaning or working out with it on. She loves it don’t get me wrong but you also need something that fits your lifestyle and most importantly is what you love!
If someone made a comment to me like that I would just be like oh well you know what I found the most gorgeous cake or Bridesmaid or Best Man dresses or something to change the subject completely- talk about the planning and how much fun I am having 😉 No need to indulge in their stupidity with any comments back or defense- Brush it off and enjoy this time!
Post # 11
It’s always rude and uncalled for to comment on a diamond being supposedly too small, but I think I’m kind of with Tanya123 on this one. It just sounds like this friend isn’t very good at keeping her (judgemental) thoughts to herself, or at the very least getting them out in a tactful manner, but it doesn’t sound like she was trying to be rude. It almost sounds as if she was trying to point out to everyone around at the reception the fact that your husband makes good money as a doctor, since she thought the ring wasn’t pointing that out…? (as odd as that is!) But yes, I would also agree that in general, what a man spends on a ring is proportionate to his salary. That doesn’t mean that you should have a bigger rock if you love the one you have, however.
Post # 12
Ugh. I think the only response I’d be able to give would be “Wow.” And then silence.
Or if you’re not worried about being subtle, you could borrow a line from Arrested Development: “Let’s just both sit here a minute and think about how dumb that statement was.” Even if she meant it as a totally innocent comment, sometimes people have to be called out on their rudeness. It might make her think twice about it and realize how shallow it sounded, regardless of how she meant it.
Post # 13
@weebirdy – thats one of my fav responses to things…”WOW.”
Post # 14
Wow, you should tell your friend that money can’t buy class, tough noogies for her! Sheesh!!! That’s something that is NEVER appropriate to say. Sure, people think it (doctors wives are notorious for having large rings and being all fancy fancy with their nice cars, whateverz) but you don’t say it!!!! Unless you were raised in a barn anyways.
Post # 15
Wow. Wow. What a brat!
While I believe that a ring should somewhat reflect where you are in your life right now – if you don’t make a lot of money you shouldn’t go into major debt to buy a big honkin ring – it is totally your choice. Just because you can afford a 3 carat ring, doesn’t mean you have to have one. It’s a symbol of your love for one another and size does NOT equal how much love or money you have.
How tacky of her to not only say that, but to say it where others could hear it!
Post # 16
I definitely think it’s a symbol of love. My SO is an engineer, but I want a raw diamond (or other gemstone) with recycled metal. So almost everything I’ve fallen in love with is under $1000. Some people just aren’t focused on the right things in marriage.