(Closed) ring regret/envy/guilt

posted 4 years ago in Rings
Post # 2
3 posts

I think your ring is lovely, it is classic and tasteful and looks fab on your hand, however I know it’s easy to say that and hard to change personal feelings. Do you think you will always wear it after the wedding? I know alot of women who don’t wear alot of jewellery and so after the wedding tend to only wear the wedding ring, is that something you would be likely to do?

I ask because you could just make sure you get a wedding ring you adore, then if you still don’t love your engagement ring you could just wear the band? Although both together would look stunning I am sure.

I think you should go to the engagement party with your head held high, it is a gorgeous ring, you are marrying someone you love, you should feel proud! At the very least fake it til you make it! No one needs to how you feel, don’t give anyone ammunition.

Post # 3
443 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2014

Do you have the funds to switch it? Do you want a larger stone, a different setting, or non-diamond center? How would your man feel if you switched it? Have you mentioned how you are feeling to him? 

It is very easy to doubt yourself, I have a small solitare at my request, and periodically I get similar feelings to what you are saying. I’m another non-jewellery wearing girl. A couple weeks ago we went camping and I left my ring at home, when we got back, I was so happy to put on the ring we picked together, it made me realize how much I treasured the ring I had. 

I would suggest going and trying on different styles, see how you actually like them on your hand, this might clarify your thoughts a bit. 

Post # 4
402 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: Royal Park Hotel


amandarosesmithmusic:  This will pass.  Once things go into full swing with wedding planning and after you pick out a wedding band you won’t even care about your ring being “too small”

If you’re bummed about your ring all I can say is….make sure you ADORE your wedding band.  Pick something gorgeous, something that compliments your delicate solitaire in a way that actually enhances it!   Then you’ll fall in love with the e-ring/wedding ring combo.

Post # 5
1654 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2015

I really like your ring. If you’re not one to wear jewelry I think it’s a great size. I have a 1.5ct and it constantly snags on things and I wish I went smaller. 0.4ct seems like the perfect size to wear every day for a lifetime 🙂

Post # 6
943 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: December 2014

I think its simple elegant and beautiful. But unfortunately I know EXACTLY how you feel. I didn’t really share my feelings about it but I felt really insecure about my ring as well when I got it. I had always thought I wanted just a simple solitaire. My ring was a .72 Leo diamond solitaire and yes it was gorgeous. The insecurity came because sooo many people I knew were getting much more detailed intricate rings from there Fiance. I also felt like my ring wasn’t “enough” and I was getting the ooh pretty comments. I ended up resetting my ring to a more intricate band when I went to get it sized.. I totally love it now! I did regret resetting it when looking at wedding bands because you can do SO MUCH with a solitaire (wraps, enhancers, band etc…) and it was very hard to match my new setting. I found one and it’s my dream ring and I am beyond happy Now.. But I do think you should stick with it and be proud if you love the simple elegance.. You can glam it up a bit with a beautiful wedding band or enhancer!! Either way.. You loving it is what’s important.. That is what I realized because it’s something I will keep forever. 🙂 

Post # 8
443 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2014

I saw this set on stone fox brides Instagram ages ago. You could do something like this, as well as a thin band that matches your fis?

Post # 10
536 posts
Busy bee

amandarosesmithmusic:  It’s a beautiful ring and you chose well if you want something timeless and classy that will span a lifetime. Based on your current jewelry collection, or lack thereof, I think this current feeling towards your ring will pass. Do you really want an over the top, stone encrusted, trendy twig design, quadruple halo, center stone too big folks think it’s fake monstrosity (relax bees, just some dramatic effect here) that you really will regret years from now? 

I totally understand that that perhaps it may appear too “boring” for NYC (I live in DC), but if you are in your 30’s and your simple tastes in jewelry never bothered you before, chances are this is just a fleeting moment of “the grass is greener.” I bet if you upgraded to something more flashy you will feel uncomfortable wearing it. Just be true to yourself! 

Again, it’s gorgeous and perfect

Post # 11
66 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: November 2014 - Lacuna Artist Lofts

I have a 1 ct solitare, with twisted band. It is simple, though has a little something extra. However, I really wanted a halo. Instead, I decided that I will get an awesome, sparkly wedding band that will not take away from the engagement ring, but will help offset it, and be great on its own too. Sometimes I get ring envy, but at the end of the day, I’m still going to end up married. Maybe down the road I’ll look into a fancier ring, and move this to my right hand. 

I do love your ring though. It is genuine and classic.

Post # 12
1671 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

amandarosesmithmusic:  Well then, allow me to say that it really is SO PRETTY. The diamond looks very nice indeed!

It’s totally normal to compare. This feeling will eventually pass. It’s going to be ok. 🙂

I chose my ring, but had some “diamond shrinkage”. (This is where the diamond looks a bit smaller after you become accustomed to it.) It turns out it was just lonely- As soon as we added the sparkly wedding band, it was perfect. I also have a 2mm plain band for work and the gym.

I see that your Fiance likes the idea of matching bands. What if you had 2? That’s handy anyways. One sparkly for fun, and one plain for those times when diamonds aren’t practical. You could use the plain one for the ceremony to make it your official wedding band. 

A whole carat being the norm… I’m not sure about that, though I know NYC has a higher than normal average diamond size. I have a half carat center and my ring is often bigger than others. Many are in the same general range. It’s possible that the owners of these larger stones are especially fond of jewellery and thus more likely to post them in the forums. Many are also simulants, achieving that “big rock” look for less.

Keeping it clean and sparkling will help it look its biggest. I’m still addicted to super clean rings… They just look so bright and beautiful. 

One more thing I can suggest: search old threads for half carat rings (0.4-0.6). I did this when I was thinking mine was small, and there are some seriously amazing rings at that size! When you see them on other hands, you can really see how nice and elegant that size looks. Bonus: you can probably also see a variety of wedding bands paired with them.

Lastly, CONGRATULATIONS on your engagement! Very exciting indeed.

Post # 13
2879 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2015

amandarosesmithmusic: there is no obligatory oooh it’s pretty. And 1 ct. isn’t standard — that’s just what the marketers want you to believe. 

I’m sorry you don’t like your ring but maybe folks are picking up on your ambivalence so they are taking their cues from you as so not to offend. 

Post # 14
3465 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: July 2015

I really think a new setting or an enhancer would do the trick! One bee reset her ring instead of getting a wedding band and my god was new new setting increadible! Intricate and beautiful! Would your Fiance be okay with that?

Post # 15
73 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: April 2015

I did a post kinda similar to this one a little while ago. My problem wasn’t regretting it though. Kinda like you, I felt like people would look down on me for having a small ring. I love my ring though. It is what I wanted. Like you, I like more simple designs. My FH got me another ring to replace it later (white sapphire instead of the original diamond first one). He thought I would want more bling for the big day. Although I love that he was thinking about me, it isn’t my style. I know it is hard, but if you love him and KNOW you love that style of ring, then it is the right one for you. First pic is my ring. Second pic was supposed to be the replacement for the wedding, which I decided against.

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