(Closed) Ring related meltdown. (mostly a rant)

posted 8 years ago in Emotional
  • poll: What to do about no e-ring?

    Keep wearing the ring you bought yourself and keep quiet. He’ll get you one eventually.

    Have your meltdown and just be honest. Probably won’t get you closer to a ring though.

    Demand a ring with the only requirement being he buys it.

    Stop wearing your ring. When he asks say you are waiting for a ring from him to wear.

    Break off your engagement. He’s a great guy and doesn't need this crap from you.

  • Post # 47
    Member
    776 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: November 1999

    View original reply
    @Weetzie:  +100!

    Post # 48
    Member
    495 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: June 2013

    Since he feels the ring should meet certain criteria, why don’t you get the setting now, put a moissanite or a simulant in it, and then when you have the $$$ upgrade to a diamond (if that is what you/he wants). I bought a gorgeous platinum ring on eBay with a 3/4 carat moissanite and it was only $650. That way you have your ring and he has plenty of time to save.

    Post # 49
    Hostess
    7547 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper
    • Wedding: January 2013

    Having a ring is important to you. Apparently, it’s not important to him. This is an issue of communication and problem solving that you should be able to solve if you’re thinking about getting married. Do you really want to marry someone who doesn’t care about what’s important to you? 

    Post # 50
    Member
    2564 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: November 2013

    View original reply
    @FeelingCrazy:  Money makes things a heck of a lot easier though.  Just think re: the car fund – if his car breaks down, he can’t get to work, therefore he can’t make $$, therefore = not any closer to a ring.  If he’s a hard worker who puts his money away then I think maybe he’s just wanting to save for the important things in life, including a ring, and to me that’s a sign of a good provider.

    I got engaged a year and a half after being with my SO.  I asked him how soon he knew he wanted to marry me, and he said immediately but he needed the right circumstance and $ to get me what I wanted and to do it right. 

    Now on the other side of the coin, I too would be totally upset – being engaged without a ring to show to the world that I was.  I’d take the ring you bought yourself off.  I’d also put a little pressure on to see what his deal is now waiting til Sept.

    Post # 51
    Member
    845 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: February 2014

    I wouldn’t feel bad for asking for the ring – mainly because it is hard to control how you feel and I don’t think you should apologise for it.

     

    I have a ‘stand-in’ ring, a cheapie for while he saved up – at least he bought it though. So a month or so ago I said ‘hey, I want my nice ring!’ I am getting it later this week. No matter how you slice it it IS one of the things you have to get out of the way to get the wedding ball rolling.

     

    Take the ring you paid for OFF. He needs to realise there is a gap in the process here – one that glares at you every day.

    Post # 52
    Member
    2375 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: June 2014

    I understand that you’re in an emotional place right now.  But if I thought for a moment that my fiance even THOUGHT about touching his 401 or investments for a ring, I’d just about murder him.  Same if he went into debt for it.  He’s being financially responsible – he’s paying off the credit cards.  Getting rid of high interest debt is absolutely a priority, and it sounds like he has a fair amount of it.  And yes, a reliable vehicle is more important than a ring.  A ring doesn’t put food on the table, or pay the rent.

    Let him know that this is important to you, and start addressing your budget.  Priorities are  required monthly bills > reliable vehicle > debt > ring.  When you determine how much can go towards the ring fund per month, you’ll get a timeline of when you can expect a ring.

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