Post # 1
Member
540 posts
Busy bee
I am not sure how really to start this… I guess I need some hive support.
Mr.Dw has this friend, we will call him C, who has been pretty close with us for a while but until recently was in Iraq. C and S have been dating for several moths now and as a result, S and I have been getting to know eachother pretty well. (following me still?!) Anyways, we were emailing to eachother and I told her that recently Mr. Dw and I have been ring shopping together. She hasn’t responded to my email, however wrote this today…
I am a little offended, really frustrated, and reallly don’t know what to think. First of all if she felt like that, why would she not just tell me….?
But most importantly I feel like she is saying I am pushing him into getting married (WHICH I KNOW I’M NOT). The decision to go ring shopping together was a choice we both made. I honeslty had no experience with engagement rings, and have never really seen one (other than my mothers) in person. So together we went, looked at what we like, and HAPPENED to find one. Ok, we found one. Big deal. That doesn’t mean that I pushed him, that I get to choose the diamond, when/how he proposes…and it doesn’t mean I took away the element of suprise, and IT CERTAINLY DOESN’T MEAN THAT IT WONT COME FROM HIS HEART. nor that he doesn’t know me well enough to pick a ring out for me on his own.
In my mind S is being judgemental, and honeslty it felt like she personally attacked me. But maybe I am just taking it the wrong way… What would she do if she knew that actually we have even been planning our wedding….?
What do you all think? Am I being unreasonable? Should I talk to her about it (She doesn’t actually know that I read her blog occassionally)…? Or should I just let it go and act like I never read it…?
Help!?
Post # 3
Member
3124 posts
Sugar bee
I can’t read bloggy-blogs at work so i can’t comment specifically on the text, but it sounds like she is jealous / missing her bf. I would be very direct in this situation, b/c she needs friends right now. I would tell your BF right away, so that he didn’t find out whisper down the lane style and think you were gabbing to acquaintances about “pushing him into getting married”. Then I would call her up and ask her to remove her post, it sounds kind of nasty from what you’re saying. If you tell her exactly why it’s hurtful, she should take it down, and if she doesn’t then you’ll know where you guys stand. Good luck!
Post # 4
Member
3281 posts
Sugar bee
Wow, I completely disagree with everything she wrote in her blog. Yes, Its a sweet gesture that men do for women, but more importantly it should be an adult decisions that TWO people should make together. GONE are the days where a woman has no opinion on marriage and THEIR own lives. Tell her she needs to get outta of the 50’s
Post # 5
Member
1600 posts
Bumble bee
thats harsh. i know my bf specifically asked me what type of ring i like because he wants me to love it. it works better for some people that way, so who is she to say that? maybe it’s not for her, but who died and made her queen of the world?
i’m sorry you have to read that though – like, i would say it’s uncalled for. i would agree with Melissabegins and say that she’s jealous. probably the fact that you’re ring shopping and she’s not would do it…
Post # 6
Member
3281 posts
Sugar bee
Oh, and just to add…. Ring shopping (like you said) was something that me and my BF both decided on because HE wanted to make sure he got me something that i really, really loved. I had never tried on an engagement ring before that and I was so surprised at what I ended up loving. (not what I had been researching online)
I would always look up round cut diamonds and ended up loving cushion cuts and emerald cuts.
Post # 7
Member
9 posts
Newbee
Everyone has an opinion so I would just let it go at that. Ring shopping is now the big trend …why not? You are required to wear it for the rest of your life- it should be something you like and enjoy. (Besides where is her ring? Exactly- she doesn’t have one. so don’t let her ruin this for you!)
Post # 8
Member
852 posts
Busy bee
I feel the same way you do regarding ring shopping.
I went shopping with the boy, and I showed him styles I liked. I by no means told him he had to get an exact one, or what diamond to put it the setting, or when or how to propose.
She is entitled to her opinion but she definitely shouldn’t have posted this right after you sent her the email. She should have told you how she feels, and reiterated that you are entitled to your opinion as well.
Post # 9
Member
1232 posts
Bumble bee
She definitely personally attacked you! So rude! She sounds annoying and jealous! I left this comment on her blog:
“My fiance and I went engagement ring shopping and it was HIS idea. Everytime we would pass a ring store he would say “ooh lets go look at watches” and somehow we would wander over to the rings and he would be like want to try them on for fun?! He told me after we got engaged he had no idea what I liked and he wanted to get an idea. He ended up picking out the perfect ring based on the clues I had given him and we’re both completely happy with it 🙂
Your guy (if you ever get one) is going to want to know what you will love because he wants you to LOVE the ring he gets you.”
Post # 10
Member
540 posts
Busy bee
Thanks girls! This is why I L-O-V-E WB. Sometimes you…just need a little support! HoneyBear– i thought I loooved several rings online and then when I saw them in person they were not very good looking on my hand. Pretty pictures but so completely different in person. And I had no clue what 1/2 carat or 1 carat looked like in real life.
It was a fun experience for the both of us, something that we did together because we felt like it. I know there are people out there that push their guys into proposing-but that just isn’t me. I totally agree that the time have changed. And who has the right to decide what is right for us, or anyone/everyone for that matter.
Post # 11
Member
38 posts
Newbee
I don’t think looking at rings together is pressuring the guy AT ALL. My fiance and i have been together going on 8 years, so it felt natural to finally look at rings together. We went to quite a few different stores and tried on many different rings. He ended up getting me the one I liked the best. I had no idea he purchased that particular ring and the proposal was a complete surprise. Now I have a ring I love and my SO loves that I was able to get a ring he knew I would like. 🙂
Post # 12
Member
852 posts
Busy bee
I posted a comment annonymously too! We’ve got your back girl!!
Post # 13
Member
1230 posts
Bumble bee
I think she got rid of the post. I read it and then was going to re-read it and maybe post a comment but it isn’t there anymore.
Post # 14
Member
1232 posts
Bumble bee
She deleted it! HAHA! I guess she got the hint…
Post # 15
Member
540 posts
Busy bee
thanks for the advice girls! She did delete it, and wrote me a message trying to say that it was about some Bridezilla episode. I don’t really believe it, but whaaaatever 😛