Post # 1
Member
108 posts
Blushing bee
Hi,
I posted a week or so ago about beginning to search for an e ring and since then we have realized we may have missed a step! We started off just looking at rings to get an idea and quickly came to the realization that we weren’t going to find what we wanted and would likely have to go the custom route. We actually have an appointment with a local designer who of course congratulated us etc. Which made us realize – we didn’t exactly have a proposal yet. We are mid/late 30’s and of course none of this is a surprise etc. but something about going the custom route as opposed to just looking together seems to get rid of the need for a proposal or something? It seems like we are already engaged – which feels weird.
I think originally in our minds we’d pick a ring and then he’d pick a time to present it to me (it’s not really a question at this point) but the designing aspect makes that seem weird?
What do you think? How is this typically done?
Post # 2
Member
3233 posts
Sugar bee
You aren’t required to have a traditional proposal. Agreeing to get married means you are engaged.
Post # 3
Member
2692 posts
Sugar bee
You can do it any way you want! People PREFER to announce they’re engaged when there is a ring they can show off but you guys are apparently choosing the ring together and have all intentions on becoming married so it’s ok if you consider yourselves engaged too! Or you can wait until the ring is done and has been presented to you. No hard and fast rules to it all.
Post # 4
Member
4296 posts
Honey bee
There is no designated order, lots of people simply do it in a way that works for them… we went engagement, wedding, then designed a custom ring! We just wanted to get married, nothing else mattered! You just do what works for you…
Post # 5
Member
739 posts
Busy bee
nch000 : Plenty of couples do it that way! I picked my own ring, it wasn’t designed from top to bottom but the jeweler customised it for us. This made sense for us as i’m quite fussy and we both preferred for me to be involved. However BF still wanted to do a proposal so even though we’re pretty much engaged I’m fine with waiting a few weeks so he can have his moment.
Post # 6
Member
1237 posts
Bumble bee
We did it the exact same way you are. We decided to get married, looked at a couple of rings, decided to have one custom made, and then when it was done, my fiance had it shipped to his office, and then surprised me with a sweet proposal. Then we announced it to the world (our families and close friends already knew). We had already set the date to save our venue a couple months before we got the ring; we didn’t want to risk losing an autumn New England wedding date just because we couldn’t get the ring soon enough to do it “in order.”
Post # 7
Member
108 posts
Blushing bee
Thanks ladies! I know there is no ‘right’ way and I definitely want/need to be involved with the ring design, it just feels weird how quickly we hopped from looking at rings to designing one with no traditional engagement 🙂 My bf also wants to be able to do something romantic and we haven’t announced we are doing this so I think the engagement will just be a moment after this is all done that he can plan. I love all the non traditional stuff on here!
Post # 8
Member
124 posts
Blushing bee
So basically we decided one day that we should get married. And we started planning. A few weeks later I decided maybe we should get me a ring. And now that we’re going to tell my parents we realized he hasn’t asked my dad. But really he didn’t even ask me. So that’s what works for us. Even if you get a custom ring if the surprise and actual proposal is important to you then get it ordered and have him pick it up alone and he can present it to you over dinner or something as a “real” proposal. Whatever makes you guys happy. And, either way, congrats!
Post # 9
Member
119 posts
Blushing bee
The “right” order is the one that works for you 🙂 In my situation, my bf and I decided to get married, I picked out some rings I liked, sent them to my bf, and he’s ordered one and will be proposing with it in the next few months. So while we’re basically engaged, I know he wants to do a “proposal” (although this isn’t really that important to me, I think it’s still sweet) and I won’t consider us officially engaged until this happens. This is what’s working for us, and I hope nobody thinks we’re doing things the “wrong” way – although I don’t really care if they do!
Post # 10
Member
6240 posts
Bee Keeper
Yup as other bees have said no need to worry about it. It sounds like you and your guy are both on the same page about making it ‘official’. We did similar. We agreed to get married but didn’t announce anything and went ring shipping. Once my husband had sorted it all and the chosen ring arrived with him he proposed on bended knee that day and we then announced it to everyone. No stress! And lovely 🙂
it sounds like you have some fun ring planning ahead of you.
Post # 11
Member
860 posts
Busy bee
- Wedding: February 2017 - historical mansion
nch000 : We did this too. My now husband picked up the ring in secret and still surprised me with a proposal even though I knew it was coming at some point. We were not officially engaged until after he put that ring on my finger even though we picked it out together.
Post # 12
Member
13750 posts
Honey Beekeeper
If you are designing a custom ring together and planning to be married, that makes you engaged. A formal proposal is a little redundant and but then again no one ever objected to too many romantic gestures. It won’t make you any more engaged than you already are, though.
Post # 13
Member
493 posts
Helper bee
I bets he wants to propose with the ring that you love. Please visit forums where bride is unhappy with her ring.