(Closed) Ring Shopping FAIL

posted 7 years ago in Waiting
Post # 3
Member
4547 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

Can you talk to him and let him know you didn’t see exactly what you wanted at that particular store and you’d like to look some more? Or you could always go look on your own and then take him back when you find something you love! Darling Husband and I looked at tons of stores but then time got in the way, so I would check places out on my own (I got off work earlier) and then if I found places I thought he should go, I took him back there.

Post # 4
Member
1902 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

I know how you feel – when we started looking my SO looked so bored and.. well even frightened, lol! Took many trips to jewellers but again nothing much came from it. It took 2 years of this tedious “browsing” until he finally decided to actually purchase a ring.

You don’t always know how much hes been thinking into this and maybe doesnt want to be overloaded with info? Even I was taken aback by all the differences from one ring to another..

Your right, at least you could choose with him what you liked, at least he knows what to get you now! I see it as a positive step, even if you didnt seem to spend much time on it!! 🙂

Post # 6
Member
4547 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

@GwenvonD: I don’t know how your guy is, but a lot of guys don’t understand the thrill we women get from ring shopping. Darling Husband HATES shopping but did it anyway….not saying he loved it anywhere near as much as I did. He had fun….but it wasn’t the thrilling experience I had. I guess it depends on your relationship but really, he may not bring it up if you don’t and I don’t see the harm in bringing it up if you want to. Sure you’d like him to be the one to bring it up, but in his mind he may already have an idea in his head of what he’s getting and may not see the need to talk about it! Guys, for the most part, tend to think differently about ring shopping.

I guess I got the feeling from your post that you wanted to see more styles and didn’t see a ring you liked at that store. That’s why I suggested talking to him about it. But if you saw enough of what you liked, then why not just browse by yourself? There’s no harm in it and it’s a lot of fun 🙂

Post # 7
Member
1177 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

@GwenvonD: Ah, you need to bring it up; he’s not a mind reader. If you just sit back hoping he does, you’ll probably be disappointed and it’ll cause more issues in the long run. Communicate, communicate, communicate!!

Post # 8
Member
14418 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2011

I didnt get to look at rings at all.  I’ve never had another e-ring on my finger except the one my husband picked out.  I sort of helped by showing him pictures of what I thought I’d like.  Sometimes (rarely), I regret not shopping and really trying to find out what I liked when it wass actually on my finger.   But, I love my ring, and love that he picked it out himself and I cannot imagine having anything else on my finger.  I think if your guy had something in mind, and just wanted guidance, and wants to take care of the rest himself now, that you should let him.  My husbands is proud that he picked it out himself and that it was perfect for me… even if its only 95% my ‘perfect’ ring, the fact that he did all that for me make its 100%.  Sonuds like your guys wants to be able to pride himself with the ring he picks for you too and I think you will love it more cause of that.

Post # 9
Member
94 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

Just bring it up. I know you want your guy to bring it up but you need to say something. If you want to have more control over the ring he ultimately picks for you, don’t worry about it and speak up. Do you really want to be seething around him whenever you see him and hope that he says something?

Guys have a different type of shopping MO. They get in, get what they need, and get out. They don’t like to browse at all. I know if I take my Boyfriend or Best Friend to my favorite makeup store, I better get what I need, pay for it, and get the hell out of there. He may be the same way.

I do think you may have been too excited to go and built it up in your mind. See it as a good step in the right direction, bring it up to your SO that you want to go a couple more places or just trust he will get you something you like and it will be special because it comes from him.

Post # 10
Member
5096 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: June 2011

I told him that it’s ridiculous for him to slap down X amount of dollars for a ring all at once, and recommended that he just put down a deposit because a lot of these stores have financing plans.

Sorry, this is a little OT, but I don’t understand this. Wouldn’t a financing plan make it more expensive? Don’t they usually involve some interest? I thought in general it’s better to avoid financing if you can pay in full.

Post # 11
Member
513 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

Maybe he’s playing you…. like he already knows what you like and wants you to drop the subject so that it can be a true surprise… maybe he’s already got a ring waiting for you hidden somewhere? We did a lot of looking very casually at home too, online. I would see something and ask him what he thought of it, and he would do the same. But when we got down to talking about finances we knew we didn’t have the money so as far as I was concerned there was no ring=no engagement. But little did I know it was all part of his little plan to surprise me! So don’t beat yourself up over it, you just never know what the boys are up to 😉

Post # 13
Member
2161 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

My first thought is that I was wondering if you are both working toward a common goal.  If you say this is a HUGE step, and he didn’t seem interested, are you sure he wants to move toward marriage?

I think you two need to communicate regardless and see where you both stand.

Post # 14
Member
513 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

You could always ask him first to marry you if you want to be engaged before you get the ring too… that way you both have time to get the ring you want without the whole waiting game.

Post # 15
Member
3799 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

My Fiance asked me to go ring shopping alone and then give him a picture of the style I like best. I don’t know how your guy is, but mine hates big purchases, and if we would have gone together, he would have passed out. I think it’s a lot for a guy to handle…you’re there trying on a piece of jewelry that not only costs a ton of money, but the significance of the purchase is huge, too. He may have been overwhelmed. He also might not have been interested because he already has a plan for what he is going to do, and like you said, ‘just wanted to confirm what he already thought’. (I might be wrong but I took that as…he already knows what you like/want…he just wanted to make sure one last time before buying it).

Post # 16
Member
185 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

I went ring shopping myself and had the salesperson write the tag number of the ring I liked on the back of their business card.

I had plans to give the cards to my Fiance but he beat me to it and coincidentally bought one of the rings I’d chosen myself! I was really happy!

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