(Closed) Ring shopping with your man?

posted 8 years ago in Waiting
Post # 3
Member
1844 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

  Hi!

  While I am not engaged yet, I did go ring shopping with my Boyfriend or Best Friend. I am really, really glad that we did. I saw pictures of things that I thought I really liked online (the slim pave band, for one), but as beautiful as they were, they didn’t look great on my hand. It was great for him too, because he got to see what I liked and what I didn’t. I found two rings that I fell in love with. He told me he wouldn’t get those, because he wants to pick out the ring, but he definitely wanted my input. Also, you’re the one that is going to wear it for a long time, so you will want to know that it’s something that you feel comfortable with (although, I have a feeling that once we see our rings, we will love them, no matter what!).

  I’m glad we went, because we each learned a lot about diamonds and rings in the process. It was definitely educational!! I highly recommend it.

Post # 4
Member
935 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 2015

I haven’t shopped with Boyfriend or Best Friend but I’d be open to it. I took a trip by myself to the jewelry store to see what I’d like. I was surprised becuase it wasn’t what I thought I would like from looking at pictures.

I’m glad I went, My hand was shaking so bad…and that was just by myself! Either I’ll be better if I go with Boyfriend or Best Friend becuase now I’m over the initial shock, or I’ll still be just as nervous. I don’t know.  He knows my preferences now so we don’t necessarily need to shop together.

I think it just comes down to how picky you are about what you’ll be wearing on your hand.  Is it more important to have what you want or to be surprised? Everyone’s different. And if your guy will go for something you won’t like, I’d be sure to at least make sure your BFF/MOH is very HANDS-ON with their guidance!

Post # 5
Member
2714 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

I second what @keepsmiling19: said. I’m not engaged yet, but my SO and I went ring shopping together. We both learned so much about the process. Plus, rings that I had found online and thought I would love looked plain awful when I tried them on in person. I ended up looking at styles that I never would have thought I’d love!

After we went shopping together I told him the things that I liked and didn’t like and now the rest is up to him! It allowed me to be part of the process, find out what I really liked and yet I have no idea what the ring looks like, what size it is, etc. I deff recommend it!

Post # 6
Member
162 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: August 2011

I went ring shopiing with my Boyfriend or Best Friend, now fiance (feels so good to say the word!! I just got engaged yesterday yaaaay!!!!! πŸ™‚ ) and my ring is exactly what I wanted only prettier! I am so happy we went ring shopping together, we talked about it yesterday, I told him that the ring takes my breath away and he told me he wouldn’t have had in idea where to start if we didn’t go.

I would strongly recommend you to at least let him know the general things:

– Which shapes do you like and which you don’t

-Do you like solitaire, or pave, or three stone

-Yellow or white gold/platinum

And send pics! (if he reads pave, princess cut, etc he might not know what it means)

Post # 7
Member
2790 posts
Sugar bee

Boyfriend or Best Friend and I went just yesterday to look at rings. I would highly recommend at least one trip together. The two of you will learn so much and it is actually really fun if you find a store that is acommadating and friendly.

Things I learned and would say are helpful…

– You both learn what you like and don’t like. Be picky because it narrows down your choices alot faster and it will make his selection quicker. Boyfriend or Best Friend told me after the first store he was pretty overwhelmed and wondered how I did it because they all started looking the same. If you give him some criteria to follow it will make it easier on him.

– Going through the 4 C’s is essential. I found that clarity was pretty much my top priority. It varies and everyone see’s diamonds differently. Sit down and look at diamonds in all different kinds of light and talk about what you both see. This will help him later on to know what is important to you and teach him that it isn’t just about carat weight.

– Talk about payment and what his expectations are. My Boyfriend or Best Friend thought that he was was going to have to save the total amount and pay for my ring in cash. He realized that it would come alot sooner when he was told there are financing options. Whatever he so chooses to do that will give you both a timeline to work within.

– Enjoy it! Laugh, talk, make jokes. We really enjoyed ourselves once we got into the right store. I tried to involve him by asking him to pick things out and tell me what he liked or didn’t like. He was more concerned that I liked it so he pushed me to pick out what I liked but it was nice to hear his opinion.

– Ask about their warranties. I have found that this is something I’m very concerned with because the type of the type of ring I want, there is a possibility that a side diamond may become loose and I want to be completely covered on this issue. It was very important to us to have that security and not have to worry about that.

I’m very happy we did this together and I think it has benefited us both. I also feel like the engagement is alot closer than I anticipated it would be. πŸ™‚ He said maybe before my birthday in December!!

Post # 8
Member
1810 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: April 2011

I shopped with FH and when I found something I loved, he bought it right then and there. I liked shopping with him because this is my engagement ring that I will wear for years and years so I’m glad I got exactly what I wanted.

I will also be picking out my wedding band, and he’ll be picking out his.

Post # 9
Member
256 posts
Helper bee

We haven’t gone ring shopping together yet – but I’ve done tons of looking on my own.

I know there’s a store at a local mall that carries a couple of designers I like, so I am planning to “casually” suggest we walk through next time we are at the mall.  πŸ™‚  It makes me nervous thinking about it, but I have a ‘dream style” in mind, and I want him to know about it.  πŸ™‚

Post # 10
Member
463 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2010

My hubby and I did go ring shopping together before we got engaged.  i agree  that you need to figure first the shape that you like and what type of band you might like.

then go out and see real diamonds together for 4 c’s, try some bands/settings on, go through the prices, etc.

I am very happy we went together, as he learned alot about diamonds in general and i got the “look” that i was hoping for in terms of the setting!

Post # 11
Member
4123 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

We went shopping together before hand. We figured, we can find the style I like and go from there. Store 1) we found a setting we seemed to like but it was overpriced. After a ton more stores, and going to “trunk shows” and such… I found a setting that was just… PERFECT. It was clear to both of us when we saw it, that it would be the one! I left everything about the diamond up to him.

He wouldn’t tell me for sure it would be the exact same, but it was πŸ™‚ 

I’m so glad we did! Everything I thought I liked in print, didn’t look good on my hands… 

Post # 12
Member
435 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2011

I went shopping with my then boyfriend (engaged 2 months now) and looked at a ton of rings… after shopping, he and I are both glad I did look, cause I was so undecided, and our taste differ.

I picked 3 rings that I liked… He made the ultimate decision and I was still surprised !!  Out of all the rings I tried on… I cried over 1 ring (have no idea why)… that is the ring he picked πŸ™‚

Post # 13
Member
69 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

My man and I have different tastes for jewelry, so I’m happy I got to pick out what I wanted, but the actual shopping was not so fun. It was awkward figuring out how much they are supposed to cost and trying them on… it kinda made us both feel awkward as he wasn’t aware US girls like a separate engagement ring. I’m sure it would be good for you though since your man wants to pick you out something special, I’ll bet he really values your opinion in such an iimportant piece of jewelry!

Post # 14
Member
59 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: August 2010

I shopped with FH.. It was fun! Don’t regret it at all. You have to wear the ring for the rest fo your life, it’s comforting to know it’ll be one you love. And I still felt surprised when he popped the question!

Post # 15
Member
170 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

Hi Miss Cavalier! Like some of the pp, I’m not officially engaged yet, but yes we did go ring shopping.  It was SO much fun, and I’m a huge supporter of it.  Here are a few things I learned:

1.  The ‘real’ trip was actually my bf’s idea, and I think that’s incredibly important.  I’ve gone and browsed at rings with him around before (like, months ago), and it turned into an uncomfortable situation.  I saw it as ‘just browsing/fun’,but to him I seemed pushy and presumptuous.  So I let the whole situation drop, and then HE brought it up, and we made a weekend out of it.  There was a world of a difference – he was immediately more interested (and calm!) and it turned into a very fun time.

2.  This is just my own preference: while I was so happy to have a chance to show him styles I like, I want him to make the final decision on his own.  And I let him know this from the very beginning.  I saw the ‘ring browsing’ trip as a time for me to give him pointers (What style of band? Silver vs. gold? Solitaire vs. Halo vs. triplet setting? etc.), but in the end, I want him to make the final call.  I just think that makes it so personal, when every time I look at the ring, I can think of how much work he put into finding “the one” (while at the same time appreciating how much effort he really did put into it!).

3.  You’ll hear this advice a lot, but it’s good advice.  a) Do your research before you go out, but b) don’t rely strictly on your research when you’re actually there.  I, admittedly, didn’t really do either and it made it quite confusing.  If you look online, you can train your eye to pick up on subtle differences between rings, which then make it easier to see what you like/don’t like on your hand.  And don’t be afraid to try on different styles, because stuff really DOES look different ‘in person’ than on the computer screen.

4.  This is just a bit of a word of warning, at least from my experience.  Don’t be too frustrated (and try to keep your bf from doing so too) if you’re incredibly indecisive, espeically at first.  You’ll be looking at possibly hundreds of really shiny pretty rings, and it’s hard to really know what you like “the best”.  It took me a long *long* time to really understand what I like.  For the first few hours, I was just going in circles, and my bf (patiently!) kept trying to keep the facts straight despite me contradicting myself with each passing store.  Store 1: “I love the solitairs, but with little diamonds on the band”, store 2: “No, an intricate band is nice, but only one diamond in the middle”, store 3: “The intricate bands are too busy, but this halo setting is perfect”, etc.!  See point 3) about how to (at least partly) avoid this!

5.  Have fun!!!! That’s by far the most important thing.  You’re building your life together, and it should be an exciting time, for the both of you.  Let your bf take the lead, and enjoy.  It by no means ‘lessens’ the suprise (although it does make waiting harder), but it ensures that you not only get a ring that you love, but gives it the added sentimental value (as if it wasn’t special enough!!) of the time you spent together, narrowing it down to “the perfect one”. 

Sorry for the long post, but that’s just my two cents!! Good luck, and keep us posted!!! =)

Post # 16
Member
81 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: June 2011

I went ring shopping with my bf (now FI) and I would never do it any other way.  It’s a piece of jewelry I’ll wear forever, and I had no idea what I wanted!  We picked out an antique-style ring together, and I forgot what it looked like so I was still surprised when he proposed.  Did you know that on average if a man picks it himself he buys a more expensive ring than a woman would pick out on her own?  Sales pressure, uncertainty, wanting to please his future wife, etc.  I say go with him.  You can’t go wrong.

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