Post # 1
I need some other brides input on this. I recently got engaged and am thrilled to marry my fiance. He works as a doctor and when I got engaged we picked the ring out together. I picked something I loved, he stayed out of it except to occasionally laugh when I asked him if he liked it because he said it was all up to me. Last night, I went to a wedding and took my best friend as my date (my man couldn’t make it). She hadn’t seen the ring yet and told me it was “cute” and that she was expecting a 3 ct. plus rock from a big time doctor. I was speachless. She said this at the reception where everyone could hear how he was a doctor, my ring could be bigger, etc. I don’t even know how what to think. I felt beyond happy with being engaged, adored the ring we picked together, thought it was very fitting for my small hand (size 5) and the ring in the next size looked huge on me and I felt it was overpowering. To me, my ring (size 1 ct total. a .75 center with a halo) was just perfect for me, my style and what I wanted to wear for my life. Is the perception that the bigger the mans salary the huger the ring? I wouldn’t want a cocktail size e-ring to lug around and I am curious to know what other people think.
Post # 3
I keep trying to figure out what to write. All I can think of is that your man is lucky he is marying you and not your “best friend”. A ring should be about what you love, and not an income indicator. I don’t imagine Melinda Gates could stand up straight if she wore a ring that was in line with Bill’s income!
Post # 4
Roberta said it all! And he is very blessed to have you!
Post # 5
The size of the ring doesn’t represent how much he loves you… it is a representation that he wants to spend the rest of his life with you! As long as you are happy with your ring that is ALL that matters!
I would have been pissed too though.. thats embarrassing.
Post # 6
People always talk before they think. Good thing your Fiance is marrying you and not her!
Post # 7
I can’t believe the title of this post. Since when the size of the ring = love? If it meant love, there would be no divorced celebrities. And regardless of how much he makes, you should be happy he doesn’t spend a fortune on a ring when that money can be used for other things.
I have a gorgeous 1.1 ct ring, and my Fiance probably could have afforded more than 10k in a ring (since 10k is not even 1.5 times his salary, and supposedly he “should spend two months of his salary”), but I much rather we use that money for our LIFE together, than have that on my finger. We’re able to afford a pre-wedding trip, a great honeymoon, and many other things (and have a generous savings!) because of it.
And to be honest? More than 1ct on me would look ridiculous. I told him to get the best 1ct diamond he could afford. Too many people have huge rocks with no sparkle.
Ignore comments from friends. At the end of the day is whether you both love what you have, and it seems like you do, so yay!
Post # 8
Just ignore her. You like your ring. Some girls think that a guy should pay an insane amount for a ring.
The reality is you got something you loved and your guy is smart about not overspending – this shows responsibility on both his part and yours – you didn’t ask for something outrageous, he didn’t spend more than he thought was reasonable. I think in the long run you all will be happier because you are on a path to be financially secure.
Post # 9
These comments are spot-on. He’s marrying you, not purchasing you! There’s no size an engagement ring “should” be. I specifically requested that my fiance not get me a ring at all. We’re still just as committed and engaged as if he had given me a diamond the size of my head. It hasn’t stopped a few ugly remarks from other people, but that’s their issue, not ours.
And so it is with you! You have a ring that you love and a fiance you’re very happy to be marrying. If the peanut gallery in your life feels the need to make judgments about how other people spend their money, they’re the ones with a problem, not you.
Post # 10
I have a .50 carat ring made with a diamond that belonged to my mom.. Only one person has ever made a negative comment to me: “Well of course you’ll have to upgrade in the future”. I looked her square in the face, without a hint of sarcasm, and said “Right! Because we all know the size of a ring is a predictor of how long and happy a marriage will be.” This woman’s been married and divorced three times.
A well placed snappy comeback can be so satisfying!
Post # 11
Eckkkk….I hate it when woman make little comments like that!! My guy makes plenty of money, but I don’t want an engagement ring or wedding ring. I don’t like jewerly AT ALL so i won’t be wearing.
For me if someone said that to me I would’ve just looked right at her and said “ya..thanks for that imput, but we, as in a solid couple, don’t like flaunting things, picked this out together. Now, if you want to apologize for your rude comment I will be over at the bar getting a drink” and walked away with a smile on my face. But that’s just me.
Post # 12
This actually made me laugh aloud. How shallow and materialistic can one be?
The ironic thing is that if an expensive ring is what persuaded you into love and marriage, you are selling yourself way too cheap.
Post # 13
My ring is about a 1/2 carat solitaire and I’ve had several people say “oh cute!” when they see my ring. It always irks me and to me is kind of condescending. I love my ring, and at the time my Fiance really couldn’t afford anything more. I think there’s always going to be people that make stupid comments and we just have to let them roll off our back.
Post # 14
I’ve heard of the “rule of thumb” that a man should spend the equivalent of 3 months’ worth of paychecks on your engagement ring. Not sure where that rule came from, but I think it’s a load of bull. The truth is, his love for you is measured by his actions and faithfulness, not by the size of the rock he put on your finger.
People (even strangers) have commented on the size of my ring too, as if they are entitled to make any assumptions based on its size! They can shove their opinions… ahem… somewhere else.
Post # 15
I think that’s a ridiculous outlook on the issue – why does the size of the ring even matter? I think, though, our society does unfortunately have these types of expectations for various professions. I work in finance and my female coworkers have HUGE rings, 2+ carats (and I know that because many of them like to mention the size). For the guys, there’s definitely an expectation to get these big rings so his FI’s ring isn’t smaller than all her friends’. I think it’s a bit silly. Fortunately we got engaged before I started working so neither Fiance or I were influenced by any of it and he just picked out what he thought I’d like. To be fair, the rings look beautiful on these girls, not tacky or ridiculous at all. I’m not sure where this idea that 2+ carat rings look bad on your hand comes from.
Post # 16
Thanks ladies, I really didn’t know who to ask for their opinion because it was a nasty remark but since she is a close friend (or was during college I’m starting to think that it is changing due to her materialistic shallow remark on something so important to me like getting married) it is difficult to judge if that “blunt honesty” from someone close to you is what everyone else is thinking.
I really appreciate everyones individual backgrounds with their beliefs and if they chose to have a ring or not to have a ring I am happy to hear why. I am very happy with my engagement ring but even happier to be marrying someone who fills my heart with satisfaction. The importance is, as many of you said, on the quality of the marriage to come, not the ring. Thank you all for your sweet and thoughtful responses.