(Closed) ring size = mans professon or love?

posted 8 years ago in Rings
Post # 3
Member
114 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

I keep trying to figure out what to write. All I can think of is that your man is lucky he is marying you and not your “best friend”. A ring should be about what you love, and not an income indicator. I don’t imagine Melinda Gates could stand up straight if she wore a ring that was in line with Bill’s income!

Post # 4
Member
195 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: July 2010

Roberta said it all!  And he is very blessed to have you!

Post # 5
Member
1046 posts
Bumble bee

The size of the ring doesn’t represent how much he loves you… it is a representation that he wants to spend the rest of his life with you! As long as you are happy with your ring that is ALL that matters!

I would have been pissed too though.. thats embarrassing. 

Post # 6
Member
144 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: June 2011

People always talk before they think.  Good thing your Fiance is marrying you and not her!

Post # 7
Member
520 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 2010

I can’t believe the title of this post.  Since when the size of the ring = love?  If it meant love, there would be no divorced celebrities.  And regardless of how much he makes, you should be happy he doesn’t spend a fortune on a ring when that money can be used for other things. 

I have a gorgeous 1.1 ct ring, and my Fiance probably could have afforded more than 10k in a ring (since 10k is not even 1.5 times his salary, and supposedly he “should spend two months of his salary”), but I much rather we use that money for our LIFE together, than have that on my finger.  We’re able to afford a pre-wedding trip, a great honeymoon, and many other things (and have a generous savings!) because of it.

And to be honest?  More than 1ct on me would look ridiculous.  I told him to get the best 1ct diamond he could afford.  Too many people have huge rocks with no sparkle.

Ignore comments from friends.  At the end of the day is whether you both love what you have, and it seems like you do, so yay!

Post # 8
Member
2867 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

Just ignore her. You like your ring. Some girls think that a guy should pay an insane amount for a ring.

The reality is you got something you loved and your guy is smart about not overspending – this shows responsibility on both his part and yours – you didn’t ask for something outrageous, he didn’t spend more than he thought was reasonable. I think in the long run you all will be happier because you are on a path to be financially secure.

Post # 9
Member
26 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: April 2011

These comments are spot-on.  He’s marrying you, not purchasing you!  There’s no size an engagement ring “should” be.  I specifically requested that my fiance not get me a ring at all.  We’re still just as committed and engaged as if he had given me a diamond the size of my head.  It hasn’t stopped a few ugly remarks from other people, but that’s their issue, not ours.

And so it is with you!  You have a ring that you love and a fiance you’re very happy to be marrying.  If the peanut gallery in your life feels the need to make judgments about how other people spend their money, they’re the ones with a problem, not you.

Post # 10
Member
66 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

I have a .50 carat ring made with a diamond that belonged to my mom..  Only one person has ever made a negative comment to me:  “Well of course you’ll have to upgrade in the future”.  I looked her square in the face, without a hint of sarcasm, and said “Right!  Because we all know the size of a ring is a predictor of how long and happy a marriage will be.”  This woman’s been married and divorced three times.

A well placed snappy comeback can be so satisfying!

 

Post # 11
Member
505 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: January 2012

Eckkkk….I hate it when woman make little comments like that!!  My guy makes plenty of money, but I don’t want an engagement ring or wedding ring.  I don’t like jewerly AT ALL so i won’t be wearing.

For me if someone said that to me I would’ve just looked right at her and said “ya..thanks for that imput, but we, as in a solid couple, don’t like flaunting things, picked this out together.  Now, if you want to apologize for your rude comment I will be over at the bar getting a drink” and walked away with a smile on my face.  But that’s just me.

Post # 12
Member
120 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: April 2010

This actually made me laugh aloud. How shallow and materialistic can one be?

The ironic thing is that if an expensive ring is what persuaded you into love and marriage, you are selling yourself way too cheap. 

Post # 13
Member
261 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

My ring is about a 1/2 carat solitaire and I’ve had several people say “oh cute!” when they see my ring.  It always irks me and to me is kind of condescending.  I love my ring, and at the time my Fiance really couldn’t afford anything more.  I think there’s always going to be people that make stupid comments and we just have to let them roll off our back.

Post # 14
Member
1403 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2010

I’ve heard of the “rule of thumb” that a man should spend the equivalent of 3 months’ worth of paychecks on your engagement ring.  Not sure where that rule came from, but I think it’s a load of bull.  The truth is, his love for you is measured by his actions and faithfulness, not by the size of the rock he put on your finger.

People (even strangers) have commented on the size of my ring too, as if they are entitled to make any assumptions based on its size!  They can shove their opinions… ahem… somewhere else.

Post # 15
Member
1566 posts
Bumble bee

I think that’s a ridiculous outlook on the issue – why does the size of the ring even matter? I think, though, our society does unfortunately have these types of expectations for various professions. I work in finance and my female coworkers have HUGE rings, 2+ carats (and I know that because many of them like to mention the size). For the guys, there’s definitely an expectation to get these big rings so his FI’s ring isn’t smaller than all her friends’. I think it’s a bit silly. Fortunately we got engaged before I started working so neither Fiance or I were influenced by any of it and he just picked out what he thought I’d like. To be fair, the rings look beautiful on these girls, not tacky or ridiculous at all. I’m not sure where this idea that 2+ carat rings look bad on your hand comes from. 

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