(Closed) ring smaller?

posted 2 months ago in Rings
Post # 16
1424 posts
Bumble bee

curioustoo :  You are doing your friendship a disservice by feeling jealous over stuff like this. I would be appalled if my friend, whose stone is the same size as mine, felt jealousy toward me over the fact that my fingers are smaller than hers! What a terrible thing to dwell on in a time that should be so full of happiness and celebration.


Post # 17
245 posts
Helper bee

i could understand if the ring was .5-1 carat larger…but as many have mentioned, .8 and .9 are very similar. Your ring could end up looking larger if your fingers are smaller or the diamond has less inclusions or is cut differently.



Post # 18
615 posts
Busy bee

Personally I don’t get jealous about diamonds. I do eye other settings though. I love my setting but I always wonder “what if.”

Personally you and this friend sound amazingly competitive. I’ve never had questions about how big my stone is and I’ve never asked. Is this friend getting 0.9 just because they know yours is 0.8? 

Post # 19
350 posts
Helper bee

curioustoo :  I understand how you feel. Mine was almost 1 carat but I just like large rings. I got an heirloom ring. I would have picked out something like 1 and half. Dont be jealous though. A big ring does not equal a great marriage. If your bf hasn’t proposed you could also tell him that oyu feel bad saying so but you did kind of like the larger diamond after thinking about it

Post # 20
215 posts
Helper bee

Numbers are that, numbers. I am getting a .33 carat diamond (my Grandma’s) and I am OVER THE MOON about it! It holds a special significance to me, and will be beautiful. Plus it will be much more pratical for my lifestyle.

If you get jealous and compare your life to everyone else’s, you will never be happy. Just enjoy and be happy about being engaged to the one you love!

To answer your questions, yes, of course I get twinges of jealousy now and then. But I simply remind myself why I picked my ring in the first place, why it makes me happy, and then I feel better about it.

Post # 21
2442 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2015

I do prefer larger carat sizes on my knobbly hand, but I think 0.5 solitaires look stunning on nicer hands on mine and I’d never assume that diamond size was dictated by budget rather than choice. A 0.8 carat IF D XXX could cost more than a poor spec estate 2 carat solitaire. 

Lots of people find larger round brilliants too “doorknobby” and showy. 

If you love your ring, it doesn’t matter that others have bigger/ less flawed/ better cut/ more colourless. 

Post # 22
101 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: October 2018

curioustoo :  

I am a girl with a man who can’t afford a huge ring.  I think you made the best choice for you and your man’s future, getting something in your price range.

Most of us would be lying if we said we wouldn’t take a bigger rock if it was being given to us.

But you have the man.  And you have HIS ring.  And that’s all that matters.

There’s always gonna be bigger rings, bigger houses, nicer cars…but try to be happy with your version of all of that. 

And maybe your guy’s friend is compensating for something with that big diamond…in which case who is really getting the better deal?  LOL 🙂

Post # 23
215 posts
Helper bee

hollynichole :  And maybe your guy’s friend is compensating for something with that big diamond…in which case who is really getting the better deal?  LOL

OMG 😀 that is too funny!

Post # 24
2359 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: April 2017

Are you mad at yourself for trying to be the “cool girlfriend” by telling your guy not to spend too much on a ring?  Do you think he would have bought something bigger if he picked it out himself?  I think it’s hard to be jealous of something you picked out.

I have to agree though that the size difference between 0.8 and 0.9 ct is minimal.  There’s nothing you can do about the size of your fingers.  I am a size 5.75/6 and I’d love to have my friend’s size 4 fingers but that’s not the way I was built.  I’m tall and athletic and she’s petite.  So I would not waste any time worrying about that.

If you really want to bling it up then either put the diamond in a halo or get a blingy wedding band.  Hopefully once you actually get your ring your jealous feelings will disappear.

Post # 25
314 posts
Helper bee

Bee, comparing and being jealous is not healthy…its such a tiny difference and since your “friend” has smaller fingers anyway, even if she did get the same size it would look bigger on her. Try harnessing your jealousy into something more productive like your relationship or the excitement of almost being engaged

Post # 26
459 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2017

Carat size is important to the look of a diamond, but it’s important in conjunction with color, cut, and clarity. You could have a whopping 3 carat diamond ring that looks like a big, dirty, rock on your hand, vs a beautifully cut and delicate .4 stunner diamond with a higher clarity.

Really, you won’t know which one looks better until you see them both.

But I agree with PPs. You picked the ring and the stone carat size, your bf is about to propose, and your friend’s bf is about to propose. You guys can plan your weddings together and celebrate that you’re both about to marry men you love. Is a .1 carat difference in your stones really bigger than all of that?

Post # 27
27 posts
  • Wedding: September 1983

I’m amazed that two men even discussed rings or carat size! Maybe it’s a British thing – I’m in the UK – but guys here are much more likely to discuss engine sizes and the power of the car they bought their wives 😂. I’ve never heard men here even talk about their wife/girlfriend’s jewellery and I must be something of an expert as I have three adult sons as well as my husband!

Post # 28
3189 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2016

You picked the ring you picked out of consideration for a variety of factors and that is the ring that suited the things you were taking into consideration for YOUR life. I understand a bit of how you’re feeling- my husband and I just attended a wedding that was GORGEOUS and clearly much more expensive than ours. I felt a pang for a bit – everywhere we looked there was something more beautiful and luxurious than the last- but then I reminded myself that we kept with our priorities for our day (the main one being not to be in debt or regretting the amount we spent on a one day party) and for the year (which was to buy a house, which we did just a few months before the wedding) and our wedding totally suited us and we were there to celebrate with friends on their special day. Once I got my mind right, I was able to focus on being happy for them. Celebrate your ring for the fact that it suits your life and needs and budget. And there are always things you can do to up the sparkle factor with bands or ring guards.

On the other hand- if you encouraged your FI to get you a ring that was well under budget because you were “playing small” then I’d say that this is an opportunity for you to get a lesson about not doing that. You may need to learn to trust him to know what he can afford to spend and also practice receiving abundantly rather than asking for less than what you truly want.

I’d love to see a picture so we can drool over your ring!

Post # 29
26 posts

[content moderated for personal attack]

Post # 30
658 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2016

I definitely get where you are coming from and like others said I wouldn’t worry about it too much. Have you considered opting for a blingy wedding band? 

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