(Closed) ring upgrade?

posted 6 years ago in Rings
Post # 3
Member
8738 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2011

You’ve only had it 3 weeks and you already want something bigger? (That’s probably what’s going through his head.)

Also, did you talk about budget before hand? How close to the top of the budget were you with the ring you got?

1.2c total weight is a pretty decent sized ring. 

An engagement ring is a big purchase and you did make the decision together and seemed happy with it. Now 3 weeks later it’s no longer “good enough”. I can see why he would be upset by that (especially if he is the sentimental type).

Post # 4
Member
1473 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

@KatNYC2011:  This.

A half carat centerstone is plenty big enough. I have a half carat solitare and I don’t find it small. Stop worrying about what is small or big and just be happy you’ve found a man to love and who loves you back. The ring is a symbol of that love and commitment so stop worrying.

And I’d be really upset too if I were your Fiance. He thought he got you exactley what you wanted adn 3 week later you don’t like it because it’s not good enough? Of course he is upset.

Post # 5
Member
87 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: May 2006

Your 1.2ct three stone ring must get a nice amount of finger coverage. I think it sounds beautiful. You should post it here so we can all “ooh and ahh” over it, which will undoubtably make you feel better about it.

As far as your SO’s feelings, I think you need to apologize. This was a big deal for him and he now feels like your not happy with the ring…after a couple weeks. He wants you to be overjoyed…he did just buy you your e-ring.

I don’t think the ring is too small. I think you are just having “shrinkage” issues. Once you’ve had it on for a little while it’s going to seem smaller than when you first bought it.  Let’s see those pics!Wink

Post # 6
Member
3618 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: November 2011

I agree with what the PPs said, your Fiance is rightly upset that after only 3 weeks you want something new and bigger. Since it has only been 3 weeks are you still within the return window so that you could just exchange the center stone out and pay the difference for a larger stone?

Post # 7
Member
1664 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

I think you should definitely be happy with what you have. Some people have “ring shrinkage” moments..but when it comes down to it you should be happy with what you have and realize that he gave it to you with love. To each their own, but I could not return my ring or upgrade it for something bigger because now I have sentimental value attached to it. Maybe I’ll get something super blingy for a right hand ring some day..but I could never upgrade the ring he proposed with. Especially not three weeks later.

Post # 8
Member
3175 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

I don’t know, I always go back & forth on this issue. I think it really depends on a lot of factors. On the one hand, I don’t think women should have to “be happy with whatever they get” because we are human and we have different likes and preferences. On the other hand, you do have to be realistic about what you can afford, and I think it’s particularly odd when a woman is upset about a ring that she herself picked out. Also, you have to consider the man’s feelings/opinions on the matter. 

Did you pick the stone because it was excellent quality and wish that you would have gone with something bigger/lesser quality? Did you pick the stone because that was the best one in your price range? Did you think it was big at the time but are now having ring shrinkage? Is that because it’s truly not your size preference or because you’re looking at too much ring porn on the bee?

My general stance is that if you can afford it, and if your partner is okay with it, then you should get what you want. It doesn’t sound like your fiance is too pleased about this, though, so it would depend on why & also depends on your kind of relationship. Personally, I would (and have) had level headed conversations with my fiance about my ring, because we have an open, honest relationship. Yeah, it hurts his feelings when he knows he didn’t pick out exactly what I would have wanted, but he also wants me to look down at my ring and think “Wow, I’m the luckiest girl in the world” (I already know I am because I found a man I love, but I’m talking about the symbol of having something really beautiful that you love on your finger) rather than looking at it and being bummed (because, let’s face it, we’re human).

Post # 10
Member
8738 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2011

It’s gorgeous and you have really nice finger coverage with it.

Try and think about the feeling you had when you picked it out/first tried it on.

It’s easy to be jaded by seeing other’s rings. But remember why this one was right for you.

Personally I think it’s gorgeous and unique.

Post # 11
Member
87 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: May 2006

I love it. Your ring is beautiful and unique. 

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