(Closed) Ring upgrades…

posted 5 years ago in Rings
Post # 3
Member
4523 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

@BoxerLady:  My Boyfriend or Best Friend has talked about an upgrade…and I havent even been given the FIRST one :-p While I know I’ll love my ring we picked and wouldnt want to have a different one, I wouldnt object if he wanted to have enhancers put around it for like an anniversary present or something…as long as the original ring stays πŸ™‚

Post # 7
Member
2606 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

@BoxerLady:  That sounds like a very combative conversation TBH.

This is my ring, you gave it to me, you can’t have it back, and you’re not changing it.

What about something gentler like “I actually love my ring, just as it, so you’re very sweet, but I’d never want to change it.  Maybe we could go away for a weekend together if you want to do something romantic for me?”

 

Post # 8
Member
1654 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2015

Technically, mine is a downgrade.

We bought a ring that was super out of our budget (I paid half because the style was discontinued and I wanted it badly), but seeing what a situation it put us in, I reluctantly returned it.

I ended up getting something 4x cheaper than what we first bought, but it’s a moissanite (not that I have anything against them; they are beautiful stones), but I think the rainbow colour will bother me forever, and it isn’t as durable as a diamond is.

My new e-ring will be kind of a compromise between both of us. It’s slightly more expensive than the moissanite ring, but definitely cheaper than the first e-ring. And it will definitely be the last e-ring I buy.

When people ask me why I keep “upgrading” my ring, I get annoyed because it isn’t really an upgrade. It’s just that Fiance and I can’t make up our minds, and nothing seemed to work entirely with us. But I think we got it right with the last one πŸ™‚

I always say that getting it right the first time saves you a whole lot of heartache. I don’t understand the “wanting more than 1ct.” deal with diamonds. Anything 1ct or higher is usually super marked up, and the difference between a .95 and a 1 is negligible. I have friends who say my e-ring isn’t really an e-ring because it was less than a carat. My new e-ring is 1.5ct but it looks way too big. My first e-ring was a .75 and fit my hand perfectly. My new oval stone will be .75 as well.

But, some ladies have a preference, and I’d rather they be happy then be unhappy with something they initially received but they dislike it. I know if Fiance picked my ring out himself, I wouldn’t have liked the style he was going to choose because he thought it would be too risky to get me something with a design. I’m glad he let me choose it with him.

Post # 9
Member
87 posts
Worker bee

TBH, the problem here isn’t the upgrade. When you get married, you are going to have to agree on where all of the money is going, and if he wants to spend that much on an upgrade and you think that is a waste of money, you two should be able to talk about it without him dismissing you. If you have openly told him you don’t want anything more, and your actions are saying the same, then it seems to me to be more of an issue of his ego- he wants people to see that he can afford to give you more. So then, if the upgrade truly isn’t about you and what you want, then it is about him and what he wants (and that is assuming he knows you well enough to be able to tell that you aren’t lying about your original ering to spare his feelings). And then the problem still goes back to money- it’s fine if he wants to buy you something bigger, but if you think spending a lot of money on a bigger ring is a waste, then the issue is much bigger than him wanting to buy you an upgrade.

Post # 10
Member
2958 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2013 - Wynn Las Vegas

Cool story, bro.

Post # 11
Member
3170 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

I’m with you, I don’t comment on those threads because I don’t have anything positive to say. The ring that my husband gave me is very special, he picked it out for me all by himself and I love it. It has so much meaning for me and can’t imagine just getting a different one because it’s bigger or nicer. He got his previous wife a 10 year ring from Tiffany’s and it was HUGE. I remember thinking, before we got engaged, that I would certainly want a 10 year ring. Who wouldn’t want a bigger ring?

Well, now that I have mine, I can’t imagine getting something else. Will never happen.

Post # 14
Member
2566 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2014

@whoa_its_ash:  lol that cracked me up, thank you.

@BoxerLady:  Talk to him, find out why he wants to change it.  Maybe he’s always felt that he didn’t give you what he wanted to give you and this is a big deal to him.  Or he may have had a friend give his fiance some huge rock and he feels less somehow.  Or maybe he just saw a big shiny thing and got hypnotized, I don’t know, only way to find out is to sit down and discuss it, calmly.

Post # 15
Member
2299 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

@akirasan:  It makes me sad to hear that there are actually people out there who think an e-ring isn’t “real” if it’s less than a carat.  How can they even justify that?  I’m really glad that you’ve been able to find your perfect e-ring, even if it took a couple tries!  : )

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