Post # 1
Member
21 posts
Newbee
Hi bees,
I am having a few emotional issues leading up to the wedding (getting married in less than a month).
My fiance’ and I both have previous long term relationships. I was married and my fiance’ was engaged.
He saved for 3 years for his ex’s ring. When they split up, he kept the ring.
Flash forward to when we were talking about getting married. I loved the shape of the diamond so he had it reset for me in a new (but similar) setting. We did this to save money as we wanted a debt free wedding.
I picked out a matching wedding band and I am in love with it, but to be honest every now and then I still get a tinge when people ask me how we picked out the ring.
Do you think this is something I will get over as time passes and we add the wedding band that is unique to us and we are no longer engaged but married? I realize this is just a thing, but I can’t help but being a bit emotional about it, and can’t help but to stress about it a bit.
Thanks for any suggestions!
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Post # 2
Member
8471 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
Yesicawest: The stone used isn’t what makes your relationship special, it’s the bond that you and your FI have that makes the ring worth anything emotionally; the stone is just an object. In my opinion you have two options: sell the stone and get something completely different, or get over it.
Post # 3
Member
2810 posts
Sugar bee
a diamond is just that- a diamond. i don’t see it as having any strings attached, because he set it into a setting that was yours. it’s not like he gave you the same ring he gave her.
just don’t tell people. put it to the back of your mind. because it doesn’t matter. when people ask, tell them it’s an heirloom stone.
Post # 4
Member
10671 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
Honestly. I dont think I would ever be ok with that..knowing he bought that diamond for her..my ex fiance is now engaged again and traded in the diamond to put towards her new ring i was upset because I wanted him to save the ring fot our daughter some day but if he would have given to his fiance I would have been furious. .if this is something you cant get over you could trade it in for another diamond..but mmaybe once your married and have your wedding band it wont bother you anymore..
Post # 5
Member
21 posts
Newbee
housebee: I agree. I know I need to get over it. It is just a thing.
Post # 6
Member
21 posts
Newbee
mrssloan2013: yeah it’s not the same ring, just the same diamond. It’s 2 carat. I love it. If he were to trade it in, we would lose a lot of $$ and the engagement ring he got me is perfect to the ring. I am going to try to think of it like the diamond is his, we have a future together, and hope my emotions pass a bit. if not, maybe just wear the wedding band.
Post # 7
Member
21 posts
Newbee
colorofmyheart: Thank you. The reality is we all bring “stuff” from the past. I think in this day and age of over the top proposals and stories I was just feeling a bit down. The reality is I have a beautiful ring and awesome fiance’ and we won’t have any debt from it. I think I’m just emotional about everything right now 🙂
Post # 8
Member
10671 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
Yesicawest: wow 2 carat! Yeah your right you wouldnt be able to get anything as nice as that in a trade in!! Would love to see this big beautiful diamond..pic please!? 🙂
Post # 9
Member
21 posts
Newbee
here is the engagement ring: 
mrssloan2013:
Post # 10
Member
21 posts
Newbee
this is the wedding set will look like.
Post # 11
Member
7495 posts
Busy Beekeeper
My DH was previously engaged, and he used the same center stone in my ring. I didn’t see a problem with it, it’s just a stone. Better that he didn’t have to lose all that money he spent on it in the first place, and my setting makes it unique to me. You don’t have to tell the story about how he got the stone if you don’t want to.
Post # 12
Member
21 posts
Newbee
Cory_loves_this_girl: Thank you. I know it’s shallow, but I think I just needed to hear that someone else did this and was okay with it. Do you ever think about it?
Post # 13
Member
10671 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
Yesicawest: gorgeous! Dantela is my favorite collection by tacori!! Im jealous!!! 😉
Post # 14
Member
21 posts
Newbee
mrssloan2013: Thank you. It’s funny, his ex’s was the white gold w diamonds on the side. I always liked the cushion look. so I just decided to change it to fit me-I wanted plantinum and prefer a more classic look. 😉 So yeah, I think I still got a good deal. He got the setting for me. I may have it engraved on the inside if possible? Thank you again 🙂
Post # 15
Member
2731 posts
Sugar bee
It’s really a beautiful ring!
At this point though, since you already agreed to re-using the diamond I would just say let it go! I understand it’s hard to have something from the past but since you made the decision it was okay I think it would be inconsiderate to change your mind now that you are getting married and everything is underway.
Girl, I would take that ring ina heartbeat.. enjoy it!
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