Post # 1
I am looking for some advice for a ring and THINGS! I have been looking at rings for the past month after a almost 5 year relationship. We met by accident, moved in together two years later, and now are looking at rings. I wanted to marry him for the past two years but I was nervous to discuss marriage (crazy right!). Finally I realized we would be together almost five years and I wasn’t waiting anymore. When he asked what I wanted for Christmas I told him a ring! He said okay and you should start looking for what you want. The excitement was overwhelming!
Well here is the ring part!
I have large hands at 9.5 and really need help with my ring. The support I received so far is just stressful! I have friends who go with me and they seem to select the ring they want and not listen to my wants. I really want a solitaire diamond but I don’t know how to make it work with my large hands?? Help? Photos?
Now the things?
My SO spent time looking at rings with me online. Weeks and late nights looking at my ideas and different styles. We discussed a budget and I used that to look at rings. I noticed that he seem really excited in the beginning but it’s kind of fading a bit in my opinion. I don’t know if he has the ring already and I became to naggy or overwhelming with the ring search (it has become stressful)? It should be a joyful time but I’m finding that it led to a disagreement between us. Since the 23rd I finally decided I gave him enough info to search for a ring for me and I wasn’t bringing it up again. I have family and friends telling me he should have proposed by now. I get the “what is he waiting for” questioning. How should I feel about this? Should I be worried? I don’t want to force anyone into anything they don’t really want or be that girls who doesn’t want to see the writing on the wall. He hasn’t said he changed his mind or hrbdoent want to get married so I don’t know why I feel nervous? I hope this all makes sense. I’m worried he is going to change his mind and think we could be together for ever without marriage. It’s this just my nerves?? Any advice is welcomed.
Post # 2
The issue is that you haven’t sat down and established a timeline. It doesn’t have to be rigid, but 5 years in you should have no issue asking him when he sees you two getting married. This coming year…next year..etc. My husband and I started looking at rings almost a year before we got engaged. Him giving you the go ahead to look at rings doesn’t automatically mean he’s ready to get engaged tomorrow. You need to talk to him. No one else can tell you what he’s thinking.
Post # 3
you may want to double check with him if he has the info that he expected from you. Some men want to be given enough info to search on their own,like you said, and some would much prefer to be told “this is the ring I like” or alternatively “here are 3 rings that I like equally for you to choose from” and some switch from one to the other once they realize how many variables there are and how picky we can be. Originally my husband asked me to describe the type of ring I liked, but once I did that he switched to “send me rings you like and when one if them speaks to both of us we will get that one” and the search ended when I finally settled on one style and sent him a variety of links all ti the same ring. He proposed maybe a month after that.
Post # 4
So first of all, congrats! It’s really exciting to take these next steps, so enjoy the process!
Your first question about rings and styles. I have a size 8.25 ring finger and thought I really wanted a solitaire too until I went to try on rings. The solitaire just didn’t speak to my fiance and me. Even if you’re planning on ordering online, I highly recommend seeing rings in person because I never thought I’d choose anything but a solitaire. The jeweler recommended a 3-stone ring. I wanted a very classic, simple ring. When I tried that one on, my fiance and I looked at each other and just knew that was the one. I was trying to give him a couple styles to choose from but didn’t quite work out that way. The center stone is a 1.25ct equivalent and side stones are .25ct.
My engagmeent journey/story. We’ve been together 9 years now. We started talking about getting engaged back in February, and I quickly told him I’d like a colored gemstone. Once he had that info, he asked if I minded sending him some rings I liked and what gemstone I wanted. So I spent the month of February doing a ton of research sending him so many rings, getting his opinion, etc. Eventually, he did tell me they were all starting to look alike and how about we go to the jeweler and see them in person because it was overwhelming. I was a little disappointed thinking he wasn’t as excited as I was, but looking back I can understand his perspective and since getting beyond the “right ring” he’s been as excited as I am planning the wedding. We went to the jeweler thinking I wanted a sapphire solitaire in March. After an hour with the jeweler, the entire ring was changed to a 3-stone ring with London blue topaz. If I had sent him off with what I thought I wanted, I wouldn’t have gotten the ring I love. The ring was completed around April and he propsed in June. Communication is key to all aspects of a relationship. I was very tied up in getting the ring decision right because I’m going to be wearing it the rest of my life and it felt overwhelming but once the ring was on my finger it was a very easy decision. Hope this helps!
Post # 5
First of all congrats! Ring searching can be such a fun process! Don’t let it stress you out too much (I know, easier said than done). My fiancé asked me to start looking at rings almost a year ago and it took quite some time before he was ready to actually buy it (we just got engaged earlier this week). I would give him some time, but if you feel like you need to talk to him about it, you should.
I also wear a size 9.5 on my ring finger! So hopefully I can help with that part. I have a solitaire with a pave band and I absolutely love it. The band is pretty thin, 1.7 mm and I think that looks good on my bigger hands. Here’s a picture!
Post # 6
Sorry you are having a rough time of it! MY advice is to relax as best as you can and communicate.
So we had “the talk” about moving things along on our third anniversary in July. He wasn’t sure how I wanted to proceed – either he picks out something on his own for a surprise or we look together. I told him that I would very much appreciate being part of the process as I don’t wear a lot of jewelry and I can be picky. We went to a couple of jewelry stores to get some rough ideas of what I wanted/didn’t want (i.e. it was helpful to see halos in person to re-confirm that I didn’t want one for myself). We quickly realized that he would likely need to go online to find what I wanted because I fell in love with antique cushions. I made a Pinterest board of rings that I liked and then narrowed things down from there to approximately 3-4 styles. I wanted to be surprised, but also wanted to have some choice in the matter. He went to Pricescope and learned all he could about getting the best diamond and found Victor Canera who does beautiful work. My FH did a great job. We got engaged the day before Thanksgiving this year.
My ring size in 9.75. I’m a little sensitive about my larger fingers, but I’ve found it is best to make peace with it. I absolutely love my ring and all of the research and work he did to get me the absolute best ring. For reference this is a 1.5 ct antique cushion cut on a thin pave band.
Post # 7
Thank you ladies for the advice and the photos.
i love the rings and really like seeing the solitaire rings on your fingers. I tried on so many rings it became stressful but I gave him plenty to work with. We have totally different styles. He likes bling and I like solitaires with a split shank or pavé setting. I also love antique. He could pop the question with a ring made of rubber and I would be happy with it until I could pick my own. Lol
I realized that I think am letting the anxiety get the best of me. I’m an anxious person and always have been. We talked last night and he asked me if I wanted a big wedding or a small wedding? And other wedding questions. I have decided to let it rest in his hands. I want to marry him and I made that clear. I don’t know if at this point I would leave him if he didn’t propose. He is my best friend and I wouldn’t want to be without him. That being said I also donttthink I would stay with him for a lifetime without marriage. Actually I know I can’t because I don’t want to be resentful. I never wanted to marry before I met him.
I didnt tell him that if he doesn’t propose by this date or time I would walk. I couldn’t do that because it’s not how I want it to be. Jeez, Its really a confusing feeling and place to be. If he doesn’t want it then why even talk to me about it?