Rings and things!!

posted 3 years ago in Engagement
Post # 2
Member
3707 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: November 2014

The issue is that you haven’t sat down and established a timeline. It doesn’t have to be rigid, but 5 years in you should have no issue asking him when he sees you two getting married. This coming year…next year..etc. My husband and I started looking at rings almost a year before we got engaged. Him giving you the go ahead to look at rings doesn’t automatically mean he’s ready to get engaged tomorrow. You need to talk to him. No one else can tell you what he’s thinking.

Post # 3
Member
2552 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2017

View original reply
itsateapaaahty :  you may want to double check with him if he has the info that he expected from you. Some men want to be given enough info to search on their own,like you said, and some would much prefer to be told “this is the ring I like” or alternatively “here are 3 rings that I like equally for you to choose from” and some switch from one to the other once they realize how many variables there are and how picky we can be. Originally my husband asked me to describe the type of ring I liked, but once I did that he switched to “send me rings you like and when one if them speaks to both of us we will get that one” and the search ended when I finally settled on one style and sent him a variety of links all ti the same ring. He proposed maybe a month after that.

Post # 4
Member
67 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: October 2020

So first of all, congrats! It’s really exciting to take these next steps, so enjoy the process!

Your first question about rings and styles. I have a size 8.25 ring finger and thought I really wanted a solitaire too until I went to try on rings. The solitaire just didn’t speak to my fiance and me. Even if you’re planning on ordering online, I highly recommend seeing rings in person because I never thought I’d choose anything but a solitaire. The jeweler recommended a 3-stone ring. I wanted a very classic, simple ring. When I tried that one on, my fiance and I looked at each other and just knew that was the one. I was trying to give him a couple styles to choose from but didn’t quite work out that way. The center stone is a 1.25ct equivalent and side stones are .25ct.

My engagmeent journey/story. We’ve been together 9 years now. We started talking about getting engaged back in February, and I quickly told him I’d like a colored gemstone. Once he had that info, he asked if I minded sending him some rings I liked and what gemstone I wanted. So I spent the month of February doing a ton of research sending him so many rings, getting his opinion, etc. Eventually, he did tell me they were all starting to look alike and how about we go to the jeweler and see them in person because it was overwhelming. I was a little disappointed thinking he wasn’t as excited as I was, but looking back I can understand his perspective and since getting beyond the “right ring” he’s been as excited as I am planning the wedding. We went to the jeweler thinking I wanted a sapphire solitaire in March. After an hour with the jeweler, the entire ring was changed to a 3-stone ring with London blue topaz. If I had sent him off with what I thought I wanted, I wouldn’t have gotten the ring I love. The ring was completed around April and he propsed in June. Communication is key to all aspects of a relationship. I was very tied up in getting the ring decision right because I’m going to be wearing it the rest of my life and it felt overwhelming but once the ring was on my finger it was a very easy decision. Hope this helps!

Post # 5
Member
37 posts
Newbee

Hi! 

First of all congrats! Ring searching can be such a fun process! Don’t let it stress you out too much (I know, easier said than done). My fiancé asked me to start looking at rings almost a year ago and it took quite some time before he was ready to actually buy it (we just got engaged earlier this week). I would give him some time, but if you feel like you need to talk to him about it, you should. 

I also wear a size 9.5 on my ring finger! So hopefully I can help with that part. I have a solitaire with a pave band and I absolutely love it. The band is pretty thin, 1.7 mm and I think that looks good on my bigger hands. Here’s a picture! 

Post # 6
Member
291 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2020

Sorry you are having a rough time of it!  MY advice is to relax as best as you can and communicate.

So we had “the talk” about moving things along on our third anniversary in July.  He wasn’t sure how I wanted to proceed – either he picks out something on his own for a surprise or we look together.  I told him that I would very much appreciate being part of the process as I don’t wear a lot of jewelry and I can be picky.  We went to a couple of jewelry stores to get some rough ideas of what I wanted/didn’t want (i.e. it was helpful to see halos in person to re-confirm that I didn’t want one for myself).  We quickly realized that he would likely need to go online to find what I wanted because I fell in love with antique cushions.  I made a Pinterest board of rings that I liked and then narrowed things down from there to approximately 3-4 styles.  I wanted to be surprised, but also wanted to have some choice in the matter.  He went to Pricescope and learned all he could about getting the best diamond and found Victor Canera who does beautiful work.  My FH did a great job.  We got engaged the day before Thanksgiving this year.

My ring size in 9.75.  I’m a little sensitive about my larger fingers, but I’ve found it is best to make peace with it.  I absolutely love my ring and all of the research and work he did to get me the absolute best ring.  For reference this is a 1.5 ct antique cushion cut on a thin pave band.

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